December 31, 2010

Dreams after Inception Movie

Last night watched Inception - went to bed expecting dream time to be vivid with some reference to the movie.

1. Tree Hugger
I am suspended in the air - still in lying posture. There is a massive tree with white blossoms - I think it's an elderflower tree. Tree is conscious moving its cluster of branches and trembling. With its arm like structured branches it tries to embrace and soothe me. Its presence infuses my entire being with love. I reach out my arm and hug the moving branches - wishing I was bigger than the tree so that I could cradle it in my arms. I give it the grandest hug that I can saying 'And I love you'.

2. Jungle Swinger
It is dark, I am standing or hanging from a large tree. I fall down then grab the hanging branch vine and swing. I swing to another tree and grab its hanging vine branch and continue to swing to another tree. This carries on as I am enjoying the momentum of speed. I look below at the surface - which changes from ground to sea - from solid to liquid (symbolic for 'Walking the Distance of Memory?). I move along wondering how the vines that I'm swinging on are above the sea. I know it is a dream - I have no desire to change environment - want to play along with what is. I come to some end - something more happens - recall hazy about details - emerge in next dream scene.

3. How to Fly
I'm walking down a staircase - there's a paradox (staircase ends) - my memory of having watched Inception makes me more lucid. I move on laughing to myself. I end up in a vast field filled with people - I sprint, dance and go a bit crazy with more moves. Get bored and decide to do the obvious - I get ready to fly. I am about to flap my arms like wings (think there something about this in movie - can't recall). I remember it's not necessary to flap wings just the thought of flying is enough. Still, I reach out arms in superman flying pose and rise above ground. Into the sky I look down and watch the Earth shrink. Once again I know there is no distance - just an illusion, I keep looking down, want to see how small the Earth can get.

December 28, 2010


Yesterday evening sang my heart out while carrying out general household chores. The neti pot has done wonders for my voice and so I really enjoyed singing. I find breathing is amazingly clear and my throat is less clogged.

Speaking of neti pot I want to mention something that occured randomly since this year September - my nose would release these flow of clear liquid that I tasted one time and it was pretty salty. It wasn't phlegm, definitely not a runny nose and it has never happened before - there was also a sting inside my nostrils when it occured. Another time this same liquid flowed down into the back of my throat. It reminds me kind of what I am experiencing with the neti pot, like maybe that was some kind of internal cleansing for the airways.

Anyways, after about 40 mins of playing around with my new found voice a miracle occured - I was feeling sleepy. It felt like such a long time feeling what it actually felt like to be sleepy. Got ready for bed and still feeling sleepy listened to some meta music on mp3 player.

Closed eyes and let sleep take over, getting deeper and deeper there was a sudden bolt of energy coursing through my arms which occured several times. No resistance on my part. I knew it was time to switch mp3 player off. As I placed it on bedside table my body started shaking/trembling vigorously - definitely unlike vibrations or shivers. This shaking was equavelant to an earthquake. I am understanding more clearly these days that the Earth is no different to the physical human body. Whatever the earth needs, such as minerals, the physical body needs. The physical body also has a release mechanism just like the Earth which outwardly we see from the Earth as earthquakes, floods etc. If we made comparisons between the two we will find minimal differences.

December 26, 2010

The Illusion of Space - Walking The Distance of Memory

The Illusion of Space
I found myself in an unknown place for which I could find no reference. I am observing the distance between the 'I' that I percieve and the objects around me. The surrounding is unfamiliar to me - I felt myself to be slightly out of place here. I could feel I'm not solidly formed - there is liquid movement - both I and my surrounding are of liquid. I had this immediate realization that what we percieve as space - distance between 2 objects is an illusion - this space does not exist except as a trick of the smoke-screen. I found myself slowly transitioning with the surrounding into solid. Instead of flowing which is what occured whilst liquid I was learning to walk again. I had to remember what it was like to walk again which was easy enough and eventually got more solid, body feeling more heavy. Things were becoming more 'realistic' even though really none of it is real. This state is really difficult to describe, wording it is so hard. I'll try an analogy of what I use to think about as a child and a teenager.

As a child when I'd travel on trains or other moving vehicles I would gaze out into the countryside or roadsides passing by and wonder to myself is the vehicle moving or the countryside. As a teenager I would wonder if it were possible to chase the moon, I even tried it once but for a short walk of course with no luck and it would feel like the moon would cycle farther and farther away from me. Even as an adult cruising in a car I think about the possibility of the countryside or roadsides as a TV show with actual frames moving along. In this mornings event these feelings were coming back and suddenly everything about space made absolute sense. The distance between 2 objects does not exist, but I found this morning living exactly what I percieved as a child and in those long cruises. The countryside was moving and I remained still.

Walking The Distance of Memory
In this mornings event as I became more and more solid, learning to walk it felt so pretend, so unreal. I kept playing along until things were 100% solid. I did not question where I was or what I was doing there, just simply exploring this new dimension. I was now outdoors, looking across the road at a church like building with an open door. I walk through it and then another door until I end up outdoors again. I am standing in front of a very wide Temple, I think it was just one floor but still rather tall - it was a very ordinary, simple looking Temple - nothing aesthetic. I see others around but do not approach them. My attention is caught by a board on the side. I read 'Darshan' or a word like that and I thought it meant blessing in Hindi but have since looked the word up which is Sanskrit for 'sight' which makes a lot of sense in terms of todays event. I see other words and come across the word 'Patil' and think how its a typical Indian name. I look to my left and see the entrance to the temple and as I approach it everything becomes so familiar - I have been here before. As I walk I am speaking out loud saying how I remember this place, I've been here before, but when - a past life? Emotions are getting so strong that I'm not sure I could walk through the door - it is like before I could even completely remember this past life or whatever it may be emotions were taking 10 steps ahead. I could not bear it any longer, so overwhelming. I am filled with such an extraordinary sadness, some kind of grief taking over. I cry so much my tears could flood the temple. I pray, beg and plead to the invisible around me to let me go back. I don't want to remember, I can't do it. If the emotions of these memories are causing me to feel this great bittersweet sadness I don't think I could bear the memory - better to go back to my comfort zone.

Woke up with that same sadness mellowed down by a sigh of relief. Since this morning my left hand has been surging continuously - a very intense sensation sometimes it gets sharp and prickly.

There is a video I found through a Salvia forum on youtube describing more in detail about perception and gels with the experience I had today. It is amazing because a few days ago I wondered what it would be like to see perception in operation as described in this video and I think I got what I asked for. Click here to watch.

Hemi-sync Brain Orgasms

On friday evening listened to 'Intro to F12'. Immediately there were some very intense brain orgasms, hard to tolerate this intensity but just went with it. Y'day evening listened to same track with some head pressures and lots of involuntary K movement until eventually before I got to F12 just fell asleep. Awakened at 4ish am with a half moon brightly lit, the moonlight radiating a part of my room. Some way for it to cycle to the point where the light would shine on my face. I didn't wait around for the moon - closed eyes and re-entered sleep without hemi-sync. Had a lot of otherly experiences - mostly brief. The most notable is seeing seeing various flashes of light until I could see it under the duvet - a lit screen. I noticed the light radiating from this screen was not that of the moon or another external source - this light was embedded inside my eyes - third eye maybe? All I know is this lit screen was a projection of a light source that is within. Within what? a physical body? the soul or spirit? Honestly I dont know.

Found myself in SP with my hands raised up. There was a magnetic force to which I am no stranger. I could feel the magnet holding my hands in place. Soon I found myself in a spaceless space which I will describe in the next post.

December 24, 2010

Neti Cleansing

My intention was to start with the neti cleansing last month - but it has been so overwhelming attempting to do so many things when I have so much other things going on.

Other things that I have incorporated into daily habits are so far going well which include drinking plenty of water, 5 tibetans, hemi-sync (since I am having difficulty meditating) etc. I am drinking up to 2lt filtered water per day - while I'm adjusting to this I have no idea how people drink more than this.

Yesterday I started my first neti cleanse - it was a wonderful experience. It was funny at first watching water squirt out of one nostril - at the end of the comical stunt my breathing improved so much it was no longer a laughing matter. A while after this my right eye rolled so that the pupil was almost touching the corner next to my nose - it wasn't scary but a little alarming.

Listened to hemi-sync and there were a lot of muscular spasms and very deep contractions particularly in right leg. I think the neti cleansing is allowing a deeper intake of prana. Will continue with neti cleansing.

December 23, 2010

On Fire

Dream - I'm in a kitchen reassembling a lighter. The gas is flowing out - I can hear the sound. I spark it and then try to put a cap on the flame. In my attempt to cap it my right sleeve is on fire and I begin to panic.

December 20, 2010

Insomnia Resistance

Last night I skipped hemi-sync to put me to sleep, I have to let sleep come naturally. Could not sleep from 10pm till about 3am. So this isn't any major kind of insomnia but I have been waking up slightly groggy though I have had so much energy through out the day. So what is the problem? I guess it is not normal and I can't always depend on hemi-sync. In fact when I use hemi-sync I sleep a kind of sleepless sleep and wake around 3am and cannot sleep at all after that - can't even relax. So basically either way there is this huge gap missing in the sleeping hours. Despite lacking physical exhaustion I realize the insomnia is leaving me flustered.

This insomnia has been going on for quite some time - not sure how to make peace with it but I guess the time has come where I should just let go and not dwell on it so much. Perhaps do something with the time given to me.

December 19, 2010

Dream Focus

I listened to Wave 1 - sleep exploration last night, might have some relevance to this post.

I am half awake in PR and half in a dream. In the dream there is simply perception, where I percieve a horizontal line with smaller lines - like a timeline.

I'm focusing on the little lines - getting really close to an understanding on how to change PR outcomes.

Towards the end I strike gold - the understanding, more like remembering something I've always known. I am not to focus on the little lines - that is not where the transmutation occurs. It is the base horizontal lines through which all the little lines stick out. I could feel myself grasping this - in that state I was holding onto newfound knowledge but background noise interrupted.

Yesterday I was in what I would term devotional phase - sudden outbursts of deep connection to Source/God, a longing, yearning devotional inner prayer. They are conversations on a whole other meaningful level. I don't know really how to describe these prayers because I don't plan them out - they happen when they happen often there is some sort of trigger - trigger unknown as something specific, something would happen or someone would say something and then thoughts begin to shape around that revealing a kind of unknown memory - unscrambling, decoding.

December 17, 2010

Severe Cramps

I certainly feel like I've aged a lot since the start of this day - feel like crap.

This morning I was awakened by trapped gas - felt blocked and travelling up the intestines. It was alarming. I got really really scared and tried to force out this incredible amount of gas.

Digestion was no doubt speeding up - some mild constipation. Then later in the afternoon I had some cramps starting below the abdomen and I thought it might just be menstrual cramps but then later on it would travel upwards and inside everything felt like it was twisting - I can't recall ever having so much pain.

Also y'day I felt nasueated, I burped a few times and there was this nasty after-vomit taste in my mouth. I also felt some food lodged in my gut. A sign that need to lighten my load at this time?

December 16, 2010


Yesterday I had several hemi-sync sessions. In all these sessions there have been some major movement, mostly expansion of internal organs just below abdomen. I have been advised that this occurs in the K process and to avoid certain refined food, which includes caffeine, sugar, white flour and I guess anything that can be toxic. I did consider that these intense sensations could be due to menses but the expansions and contractions started long before that.

Day before y'day had a carbonated sugar drink - was feeling depressed and reached out for it so I could wash down this hopeless feeling - so much for avoiding refined crap.

Anyways main point of this post is that I had some thoughts regarding the origin, the start point of K activation. I was going through hemi-sync notebook last night, read through last years entries and some recollection of the ones I've noted down in this blog. I realized I experienced a lot of involuntary body movements progressing with hemi-sync and I thought that is where it all started, then I thought it started with my interests in astral projection. Then I reviewed my entire life and all the major events of my life and the conclusion is that this all started long before physical birth - as though it was all predestined.

There is no doubt that great changes are in motion within the planetary system and its inhabitants - the number of K people are increasing - lots of people are experiencing the spiritual changes in many different ways. I'm not certain what to expect at the end of this change but have a few general ideas. It will be something new, maybe completely unthought of. Those who are already in the motions of this change are probably experiencing the height of it, which is wonderful because when the number of these people multiply there will be an abundance of assistance and guidance for those who have not yet opened themselves up to this new energy or are resistant to it when it hits them. Folks, get ready for it because there is gonna be a massive hit. My guess is that the Earth has already taken a massive dose of this hit, a majority of people are next.

When I speak in terms of energy I am not referring entirely to Kundalini - there is the greatest energy of all energies - the One energy behind all energy systems. To this energy Kundalini is like its staff - this staff bridges the gap between you and the One energy.

For myself I am in deep appreciation of all the guidance I have recieved and I am not just referring to the inner guidance ( though that has been the most intense of all ) but all those people who have so openly shared and continue to share their experiences - if I did not know anything about Kundalini I don't think I would be as open to it as I am now and would not have learnt about it solely by inner guidance (a greater attunement would be required for direct inner knowing), but it was my inner guidance that prompted me to look into it. I am experiencing and exploring myself so much more intensely and with greater clarity now than I did prior to the awakening.

December 13, 2010

Kundalini - Ear Pump

A short while ago whilst working there was some heart beat and rushing sounds in my right ear. It went de-dum de-dum de-dum. It was slow and unlike the fluttering of ear drums I've felt before. Background volume was lowered, just slightly audible. I remained still and let it carry on but I was somewhat analyzing it and I think this may have caused it to fade away.

There's obviously some work going on inside, changes being made in the body. I have been getting slight tingles in the morning, tailbone also rattling. With the sounds in ears I'm not sure I even want to admit to myself that I was just a slight bit afraid.

I ask what can I do to help this process - the answer I get is Nothing! It seems this past year I have been getting so caught up in this 'what do I need to do?' question as if Kundalini is limited to what I am physically capable of.

Kundalini requires that I do nothing which is the equivalent of surrender to every single moment. I think it is about letting go of the illusion in every moment, but it seems very difficult when the illusion I live in is so vivid.

It is amazing how it all, the drama and everything feels so real.

December 11, 2010

Request Direct Connection

Last night listened to Wave 1 - Intro to F10, fell asleep and awakened at 5am. I prayed/requested God/Source for a direct connection. I asked for an external manifestation - guess there is some resistance to a complete union. Deep down I knew there was a huge contradiction in my request and thoughts came to me that the only direct connection is one of union.

I was again, for the second time in this earthly existence, ready to let go seeing everything as an illusion just as I had done in Kundalini Illusions. I understood the pull of maya is strong but I see the complete meaningless of it and focused only on the intention to be always aware of the presence of all Creation. I wondered what would've happened in Kundalini Illusions beyond the levitation, if I had just let myself go completely. Suddenly I understood that it was some sort of trick - a test?

Listening to Pramahansa Yogananda's 'Behold the All in One' made me realize how we do in fact get so caught up in the movie - that we forget we're actors playing our part in a script.

There were tears and I imagined Gods hand was grand, powerful and even destructive but as I place my physical hands in Gods visualized hand it is soft, gentle and kind soothing me. I focused on my breathing and let go.

I was resting on my front side, on the verge of sleep where there was sweet silence. I could feel rectum sensation - pulsing and then nearer the genetilia. I have read about this, it is known as the Mula Bandha - the root lock. This has occured several times before each time I met it with resistance. It is pulsing and pumping - I cannot bear it but know again the pull of maya is so strong she is seducing me in order to distract me from my intention. This allows me to not resist the sensations and I let go giving in only to my intention. The energy pulsing there travels up along my spine to the back of my head where the brain begins to charge. This charge is localized in the back region of the brain. The energy was intensely orgasmic, so sexual, the body was on the verge of erupting like a volcano.

My focus was on God - and I understood that this game of Maya's can either divert my attention away from God or be the foundation in which I could overcome those base urges.

I was aware that the charge had come now to a certain level, where the brain was picking up radio signals. A man speaking, possibly on a radio station or tv broadcast.

I start to dream and in this dream I have lost my focus on God. I dream that I am with a partner who I know from PR. We both cannot resist each other and there is this uncontrollable desire to give in to our sexual needs. In each scene there is interruption, always someone trying to make us feel a little embarrassed and in certain scenes it was inappropriate for us to carry on with our sexual acts - but we do so shamelessly - uncaring that others who just happen to be passing by find it inappropriate.

I woke up from a few scenes feeling the sexual intoxification and then slipping back in the dream.

December 10, 2010

Kundalini Laughter

This morning had a dream about Clark Kent and Chloe Sullivan from tv show Smallville - which is just too long to go into here. Just before physically waking up became aware of my sleeping body. Suddenly I was laughing loud which focused my awareness in the body, I felt really good, some kind of wonderful feeling bubbling inside. Completely awake I was trying to figure out exactly why I was laughing. I've read that in K activated people spontaneous vocalizations are common.

Of course such information is not enough too satiate my hunger for a deeper more precise understanding. After some pondering a thought came to me what if I am not the one experiencing what I think I am experiencing and there is this 'Other' that is the one going through the motions.

Hemi-Sync Brain Going Inwards

Last night listening to Wave 1 Intro to F10, during the brain relaxation part the brain would expand and contract until eventually it felt like it was being squeezed inside out which was startling I had to gasp for some air. I was very deeply relaxed yet mind a bit too awake which is actuallly the whole point. Felt like I had gone much deeper in relaxation with Hemi-sync than any other such sessions. Was unable to relax arms, I placed both hands near chest but heaviness made my chest feel crushed in that relaxed state, so placed on side and unfortunately there was still some discomfort.

Listened to same track again this morning, managed to relax but signal to empty bladder interfered.

December 8, 2010

Hemi-Sync Insomnia and The Fear Test

So I thought Hemi-sync will help as a sleeping aid to help me fall asleep faster which it has for the past few days. Last night track no.1 had no effect I was too awake all the way throughout and not exactly following the exercise. Then at about 12am decided to listen to the Hemi-sync TGE intro track for wave 1, did the trick - by the time Monroe counted to 10 I was fast asleep - or not. Maybe it was just one seriously long click out, felt like it when I opened eyes at 2am. I think the main thing waking me up is the signal to empty bladder - I have been drinking plenty of water lately.

I should probably mention here that there is this new symptom where I feel below the abdomen lower right some organ bulging. I'll write about it in another post.

In bed since 2am awake having no idea that I will not be able to sleep at all - this also happened the day before y'day. I was doing a lot of thinking, my thoughts running on a treadmill. I had this one thought and it just came randomly, I thought of a seriously scary looking flying creature coming through the window to frighten me. With this vision in my minds eye I thought if such a fearsome thing were to happen I would not fear. I will give the creature a hug, tell it that it is loved and send it on its way.

6:10am decided to listen the intro track again only this time I will follow the exercise properly. The relaxation part really helped. However, during the relaxation my right eardrum fluttered at such a speed that it induced heat. Just went with the flow and then at some point I heard a different sound like a heart beat in my ears I'm certain it was coming from the audio and I may have heard sounds that are hard to pick up on -will check manual. Went through the entire exercise conscious, I was so relieved to finally be in a relaxed state of mind - the closest thing to sleep at the time I was going to get.

After the end of the track, got comfortable and finally falling asleep where the brain buzzing began. Suddenly I could hear relative voices in a state of panic, I could feel and sense something nearby. I sat upright on the bed looked at the half opened window - no blinds. Outside was the vision of the flying creature I had a few hours ago, only there's more than one. I didn't even recall I had thought of this creature - too busy panicking. Started screaming inside. Eyes twisted and I saw one part of the wall covered in bits of papers for note making which was not really there. I untwisted my eyes (don't know how) and the wall in reality returned. Then my eyes twisted again and the vision of the large noticeboard returned. Can't recall what happened after this - too sleepy and I could feel that my brain was harmonizing meaning buzzing and all that going on. Woke up at 9:00am certain that what I experienced was a False Awakening.

December 6, 2010

Anger Release Dreams

Another dream where I am releasing tons of emotion, mostly anger. In this dream someone has annoyed me so much I start rehearsing how I will punch the person's tailbone - ready to shatter this part to pieces.

December 5, 2010

The Ex-cape

I'm in my sisters house. I am so happy to see my cheerful nephew. The house is so different to what it really is like in reality - here it's bigger and more old fashioned looking. In one room with the door open I see my bro-in-law on the phone. I look at my reflection in the hallway mirror. I look so awful and dull. In another room I see my niece and I begin to wonder if she came here with me. I go to her and give her a happy hug, then my cousin the young version of her shows up. Walking down the stairs now with cousin, niece and nephew following me. Suddenly my ex pops out of nowhere. I walk past him pretending I didn't see him, he grabs my arm and stops me from moving further.

I have an urge to beat him up, push him and throw him down the stairs. Still he is getting very touchy, grabs my arm again and calls my name several time. I pause and almost become lucid. The anger is too much I am frustrated with his behaviour. In order to humiliate him I brand him a 'pervert' thinking that would stop him getting in my way making him feel embarrassed, but he becomes even more persistent. Deep down I'm thinking why did he have to show up - I look like such a mess.

I head for the kitchen where I think I'm fixing up a drink for the kids, ignoring my ex as much as possible. I take a quick look at him, he has carpet fibre all over his hair. I laugh inside thinking he looks like a dog that just rolled over some loose carpet, and there I was thinking I look like a mess.

I take the kids out through the garden outside for a walk, wondering what to do for the rest of the day. The kids are running off as I slip on some sludge, ex tries to help me up but I gesture to him that I don't need his help. He walks off. Trying to catch up with the kids I notice they're walking with my ex chatting with him, clearly enjoying his company. I am hit with an enormous pang of jealousy, stomp my feet and turn around to head in the other direction. Again I slip over the sludge, it is just not my day. I march like a raving lunatic, it's helping with releasing the anger I'm feeling. Suddenly I see my cousin by my side with the rest behind me.

She asks me what we're planning to do. I say "Copy me, we're gonna keep marching like this, performing all kinds of exercise moves until our lungs give out. We're gonna get so exhausted until all we wanna do is relax and then give into sweet sleep". I emphasise the sleep part because I want to go to sleep and forget everything. A quick glance at my cousin and I can see she's not too keen about my plan. There's a gang of girls on one side of the pavement, arguing and I think about my trouble maker sister wondering where she is. I know deep down my sudden concern for my sister is really just a distraction from the real issues that I'm having with my ex.

An interesting and very peculiar dream, first of all I don't even have any issues with my ex. In fact the people that I have real issues with I rarely ever dream about. Dreams about my ex, at least this one is very rare for me but I wonder what the message is in this if any - perhaps it was an incentive to wake me up, but very hard when you're caught up in frustration and anger.

I've been listening to Hemi-sync Opening The Heart series past few days, not really very conscious of the exercises since I listen to it at around 10pm. It actually puts me to sleep and one of the side effect of that is waking up at 2:30ish am from intense dreams like the one I just shared and TIM. I think I'll continue listening to this at 10pm every day since I am so in need of a sleeping aid.

December 4, 2010

TIM - The Important Man

Last night had this very long vivid dream.

There is a man who looks a lot like the actor Gregory Itzin from tv show 24. In the dream he seems to be playing a leader role but not exactly a president - he is definitely someone of importance. I'll call him Tim. Tim is at his headquarters, this office not so grand but not so small either. He has cheerful people around him - environment very friendly and positive.

A young man tells Tim that he has been promoted and that means a change of office environment. At this stage I'm very much in the background of the dream, just watching without interrupting.

Enter Tim's new office in a busy city building. I don't like this new environment, it is the complete opposite of his lively and friendly office which he left behind. It is so dark here and the office uses only artificial lighting whereas previous office was naturally lit. I feel this place is so wrong. As if Tim and I are in sync he begins to word similar feelings I am having but indirectly.

Tim: "Can't we work in my old office?"

Assistant: "No sir, you're needed here"

My thoughts: I don't like this assistant

Enter scene: A young slender woman wearing heels and an evening dress - takes a seat across from Tim. Let's call her Scarlett. The discussion they are having is inaudible. I realize Scarlett is Tim's daughter. She takes out a gun and insist Tim places his jacket on the table - pouring some kind of liquid on it and makes him wear it. There is a burning smell I realize its acid that is burning through his flesh - Scarlett exits at this stage. This time I move out of the background into the scene as if a part of it. I help take off jacket.

I expect the assistant to call the ambulance but seeing he is also helping Tim I quickly make the call.

My thoughts: I'm in the USA right now need to dial 911.

Phone ringing.

I ask for the ambulance realizing at this point that I don't even know where I am nor what I am doing here. Just this undeniable feeling that I must protect Tim. The operator tells me they have my location (they have a system where they can instantly trace my call).

Assistance: Why did you do that, the burns are minor. That was not necessary.

Me: What? He's just been burnt?

When Tim agrees with the assistant I feel beaten. I call back to cancel since Tim feels it will be a waste of time but there is no answer.

Tim and I walk out the building for some fresh air. I am so glad to be away from his assistant. At the exit there is some black bar that thrashes down like a mouse trap - it almost impacts Tim. We're both walking down a street completely unfamiliar to me. I know myself in this dream as me 'Jasmine' but I don't question my existance in this unfamiliar place nor get so lucid that I control the dream. On the road I think I see the ambulance van.

Me: "Lets get the paramedics to quickly get those burns checked since they're already here".

Suddenly a mini bus passes by, loaded with drinks and people overcrowding it. I forget about the paramedics.

Me: "Wow, that is different, back in the UK we don't have a drink bus"
Tim: "Come here I want to show you something."

Tim is pointing at a young man and tells me that it's his cousin. We continue walking while all the while I am very suspicious about the mouse like trap and deep down I know Tim's assistant was behind it.

Me: "Tim, I have to tell you something, from the very first moment I met your assistant I knew something was not right about him. I don't know how I know this but he was behind the bar incident. You have to get rid of him."

He silently acknowledges my request and I think deep down he was also suspicious of his assistant but taking it seriously now.

We walk into an elevator and behind us I can feel Tim's cousin, Scarlett and her friend join us. There is a bench inside the elevator. Tim, cousin and friend are seated. Silence and then Tim breaks the ice.

Tim: "I think we need to talk, maybe we can talk about something?" he's trying to patch things up with his daughter and I could tell she also wants things to work out.

Me: "Yeah, I think the food in your old office was so much better than that new shabby place." I turn to look at Scarlett. "What do you think?"

She nods her head and smiles. I know Tim is gonna be okay and everythings going to be fine with this new feeling I am so relieved of some kind of pressure I felt throughout. As I walk out of elevator I wake up from the dream.

December 3, 2010

Opening The Heart Brain Orgasm

Last night listened to Opening The Heart after rummaging through mp3 player running out of songs to listen to. Immediately as the track started had intense brain orgasm. It happened so suddenly and I couldn't stop laughing. I knew to remain still and allow it to just happen, kept laughing because everything about this entire process is just so comical. It was not spontaneous laughter, deliberate because I found it funny - so funny I just could not control the laughter. Each time I kept laughing I would prepare myself to stop laughing and try to be passive but could not hold it back.

December 1, 2010

Dad Flamed

Had to witness a very scary incident lunch time. Dad was cooking lentil curry and poured hot garlic oil over it with flames exploding out of the pan burning slightly part of his hand - the flame went all the way up almost hitting his face. He has cooked lentil curry all his life in this same way and never has this occured. Honestly I've never witnessed so closely anything as explosive as that, fortunately my dad was not badly harmed from this surviving minor burns.

Kundalini Lion Dream

This dream I think I should've included in this blog - it occured some day after Kundalini Illusions experience. I dreamt there was a lion in the garden and I was on the roof looking down. I see my mum is near the lion but unaware of it. I am afraid for her, reach out my hand trying to gesture to her to move away slowly. The lion however has its eyes fixed on me, fear induces. The lion takes a huge leap and reaches out to the roof visciously stabbing its canines into my hands at which point I'm gasping for air. When the fangs are removed I see two punctured holes. I wonder how I will cover it up because I can't walk around disfigured and think maybe I should fill it up with flesh from my legs or unexposed area.

Deciphering Dreams

My dreaming has been somewhat vague, I think in change with the season I am experiencing changes in energy levels. I wake up extremely tired wanting to get some more sleep but it is incredibly difficult, however I'm not so fatigued throughout the day. There is however this lack of motivation to carry on throughout my day, like not do anything unless it's research on areas that seem very important to me at this time and causing much difficulty in focusing on work. Almost automatically being pulled in these new directions and I am not even resisting but even in my non-resistance there is resistance. Okay this post is already off topic.

Dreams have been vague due to morning fatigue. This morning I was able to recall 5 dreams all of which were very vivid. I will try my best to decipher them.

1. Forbidden Courtroom Romance
I'm in a courtroom looking at the trouser suit I'm wearing, then I see a man pacing in the courtroom. We're both lawyers and there is some incredible chemistry between us. I look at his suit and it is the same as mine. It seems our outfits match. - Next scene I'm in a classroom where a middle aged woman is teaching something about law and says how fortunately by giving the talk herself she has been able to reduce time or price. She has this very strict and professional demeanor. She doesn't speak in words but I see from her expressions that she is not pleased with my relationship with the other lawyer and is telling me (nvc) to end it and keep our relationship professional. - Next scene I am in an office with the lawyer going through some files - he seems agitated and angry and I know it is because our boss has also forbidden him from commencing our relationship.

This dream is representative for the union of feminine and masculine - however there is a third something in the middle, a blockage? a barrier? I have felt like this lately like a war, some kind of battle going on within and I notice it with the changes of my mood.

2. Toilet Exposure
I'm in the toilet bleeding, remove pad and squat on toilet seat. I'm in the middle of cleaning when I hear my nephew (N), he calls my mum over to quickly see something. I look at the lock on door at which point the door opens, I shriek after being exposed and try to close the door. At this point I'm shifting lucid of the shift - my eyes open I see a floral pattern on maroon canvas until I clock on that it's my pillow on side of bed and I am paralyzed relieved the toilet incident was a dream. Close eyes and dreaming continues.

I think this dream represents my secretiveness in my spiritual endeavours, nobody that I know truly know this side of me - lets just call it the spiritual seeker in me. I never allow that part to be exposed and the whole bleeding and cleaning up is me cleaning my house but I want to do it in private without anyone knowing about it.

3. Resident Evil
I've dreamt about this game plenty of times, one of my favourite game series ever. Each time I've dreamt about RE I'm always inside the game playing as one of the main characters. I am in one of those creepy labs, across to this lab I see partner - Chris I think. I am inside this game, seriously so cool. I can feel a zombie to the far left behind me I walk away collecting a new kind of weapon - a grenade that I have to use before it blows me up - of course I blow up several times before I realize this. Chris is busy fighting off his zombies, I seem to be walking away from mine. Then the angle changes and my consciousness is next to zombie, I am seeing from the perspective of the zombie the tone and feeling changes to something very grim.

I'm going for the obvious when describing this one, I think what it represents is that there is a dynamite in me ready to explode and maybe the whole coming back to life is a message of rebirth. Very Kundalini oriented message in this one.

4. Who Are You? Who Am I?
I am on the computer, viewing full screen a flash website belonging to a recently famed singer. His tale is one of rags to riches. When he sings I realize I've always loved singing but something I just didn't have time to think about or concentrate on as much as I would've loved. His voice is mesmerising but very ordinary and then he repeats two questions singing 'Who are you? Who am I?' My mind seems to be locked onto these ?s.

Perhaps these are questions that I need to ponder, I don't know what else it represents other than something I need to figure out.

5. Neighbourly Show Off
I woke up from last dream and still feeling very sleepy went back to sleep then had this dream.
I'm in the garden, my fence is removed from left. Also my neighbours garden is different - dried grass all over, removed trees. Even my garden is different, only the grass on my side is green. Neighbours are different. They are playing sport. I go to my garden doing flips and somersaults making every attempt to show off - I am heading towards neighbours on the right, where I stop showing off coz something has caught my attention but interrupted in PR and wake up.

I'm not sure what this one represents - perhaps change? Most of the dreams I've had this morning seem to be signalling change.