November 26, 2008

Putting off meditation temporarily

I've been putting off meditation in the recent weeks due to busy schedule and have been experiencing a lot of needless stress which I believe may have caused some asthma symptoms to resurface. In the past few days I have been relaxing more and noticed how my asthma symptoms are slowly disappearing.

Although I haven't been meditating at all, I have been listening to some hypnosis on concentration and memory and lucid dreaming.

I think the lucid dreaming hypnosis is helping me recall my dreams in greater detail.

Astral Unbalanced Spinning

At 7:00am, already relaxed I decided to practice AP. I focused on my breathing as I was very distracted with thoughts. Gave up on trying this method since I was already relaxed, just mentally distracted. I closed my eyes and turned over and over until I was comfortable enough. Soon, maybe within 10 minutes or so my head began vibrating - it was definitely internal this time. Vibration was different, felt like the front of my brain vibrating.

There was none of that annoying high pitch sound but I did hear the clock ticking. Sounded like it was coming from inside my head. I had this unusual feeling or sense that my life here (in the physical) is a dream, for a brief moment. I'm not sure how I came to the conclusion but my thought of life being a dream was so powerful, I think it was somehow triggered by the ticking clock.

I quickly began floating. Then I felt myself rotate as usual and expected to head towards the window. Instead I began spinning in an unbalanced manner, all over my room. I could see my furniture arranged differently - there was also a few things that didn't belong to me. I'm not sure if the room itself began morphing or that it was my perception that was morphing. There could be a number of different reasons why I was suddenly spinning in unfamilar rooms. Eventually, I was still spinning now in a traditional styled living room. Finally, I stopped spinning in front of a large window. I peered out at the vast sky before me - it was as if the building itself was floating higher in the sky. At this point, unable to move I asked for my spirit guides to assist me. I then shot out the window like a cannonball. Lost sight and returned back in bed.

I tried again, just closed my eyes and was feeling the same brain vibrations. Began hearing several voices, male and female voices, all speaking at the same time. Focused on the voices individually. My memory of the chopped up fragmented sentences is rather vague right now however I did get the impression that I was listening in on actual conversations, perhaps even hearing thoughts.

My consciousness morphed into a cartoon dream - no recall right now. I did snap out of the dream state back in bed with SP. I noticed a stick on the bed - managed to move my right hand and tried picking it up, somehow I think I moved my physical hands and woke up at 7:35am. Within 5 minutes of waking up my little finger on my right hand began moving in a tapping motion.

November 23, 2008

Stuck

Recently a commentor suggested that I should try getting away from my body. I realised I rarely ever do this because all my movement usually feel automatic and I've become used to this. Thought I'd give it a try next time.

This morning, at 8:10am I got my opportunity when I knew the conditions were just right. Already relaxed, sort of dozed off, random images began flashing. I participated a little with the images, enhancing some of the colours, some of the faces that popped up - this was way too much fun, fortunately I didn't get too excited. The images eventually disappeared and I began telling myself to relax deeper now. I think maybe talking to myself during the pre-astral states may benefit in keeping me aware and conscious.

I soon felt a vibration which was more external, it seemed to be coming from somewhere above my head. My eyes were still closed and all I percieved was darkness. Then my vision returned, still in bed but it was dark in the room with the window part of my room being lit by the moon - this was a sure sign that I was out. At this stage I remembered to get away from my body. I tried getting up, my body seemed to be glued to the bed. Tried moving my legs and arms but I was still stuck. I eventually gave up and wanted to wake up.
Got into what seemed like the void, only this time I saw several circles zooming in and out giving a ripple effect. A few seconds later woke up at 9:00am, went back to sleep again and had a few FAs. I think the reason that I was unable to move may be that I tried too soon? Ordinarily I end up floating and often head towards the window - again all very automatic.

November 14, 2008

A Fully Conscious Attempt

This morning I decided to try and consciously AP. I say 'consciously' because this time I was wide awake. I had woken up at 5:30am and had difficulty going back to sleep, mostly because I had a lot on my mind. This seems to be the case now, where I wake up earlier than usual and later on feel sleep deprived.

By 8:00am I decided to give it a shot. I lay back in bed still with a very active mind finding it almost impossible to relax. I repeated the word 'relax' several times which was only making me more tense. Then I repeated the mantra 'OM', this was surprisingly distracting me from my busy mind. The mantra soon evolved to 'OM SHANTI SHANTI'. Soon I felt the onset of that annoying sound in my right ear. It eventually became audible and intolerable as usual. Still chanting mantra, the sound moved to my left ear, now audible in both ears I wasn't sure I could move past this stage.

I remember last time I somehow tuned into it, so I listened carefully with some bravery hoping to make the same connection. I don't know how I did it, but I did. Although I couldn't see anything I percieved that my body was slowly floating upwards and heading for the window. My vision became clear at this point, outside everything had a violet hue shade with the sky having the lightest violet tone. Just as I excitedly thought 'I've done it' my body began to sink, seeming to spiral downwards. Maybe I should have looked up?

Still very focused in a relaxed state I was back in bed with both my ears ringing with that same screeching sound. I was stuck in an 'in between' state where I began hearing some unfamiliar music fading in and out. Eventually the experience warped into several dreams. I opened my eyes at 8:25am.

November 8, 2008

Inside Someone's Head

This was probably the longest astral experience I have had so far. However, I can now only recollect fragmented parts and I'm going to relay the parts I remember clearly.

Closed my eyes, heard the same screeching ping like sound, this time it was in my left ear. I focused on the sound and managed without effort to adjust to it. I was floating about in an unfamiliar house. My arms were clearly visible in front of me, they had a white blurry glow around them.

Soon I was on a seat, in what looked like a cart moving across tracks that were high above the ground between buildings. There were people sitting next to me singing and clapping their hands. They seemed really jolly, I tried to join in but felt somewhat embarrassed.

I'm walking with a man I don't know in an unfamiliar area, but looked like any ordinary high street. The man is talking, telling me about some of his problems - all I recall now is something about sexual harrassment. It's weird that I'm walking without control. When the man talks I think of what to say - the words come out but something entirely different to what I thought is being said. This went on for a while and I can't remember everything that was said because I was busy thinking about what I'd like to say. Soon I realized that I must be in someone's mind, listening in. The man said he had to quickly meet someone and told me that he'll see me later and with that he got in his car and we parted ways. I was lifted upwards (maybe out of the body I think I was in). I had no idea what to do next and woke up.

Map Directions

Woke up at 6:00am, I felt sleepy and would've fallen asleep instantly had it not been for my full bladder. At 7:30am I could not bring myself to even close my eyes as I was far too alert and awake. I focused on my breathing to see if it helped and also expected to project.
Random images flashed by, I recall one of them being a moving aeroplane - Hypnagogic Imagery. Moving about and opening my eyes validated that I was still very much awake. Closed my eyes, images were gone but behind my closed eyelids things were still moving, these 'things' were dark squiggly shapes. There was also that screeching sound in my right ear but it wasn't having that negative effect as usual. Instead felt like I somehow tuned in this time.

A symbol began to take form. I was guessing it was an archaic symbol, then my focus began to zoom into it. It started looking like some kind of futuristic symbol. I continued playing this guessing game until more symbols began scrambling and my focus zoomed in at incredible speed. I began seeing triangles, squares and other familiar shapes. I noticed scattered branches, realized they were roads. I was now viewing a map. The markings on the map seemed to be moving. Four arrows came into view. I became prey to the 'void' but still very focused. The arrow came into view a second time. The top arrow pointing upwards was flashing, I just gazed at it wondering what it meant. It soon flashed even faster - I knew then that the arrow was telling me to look up. I looked up and flipped backwards. My vision became so clear and sharp. I was in the sky flying above the most magical town I've ever seen. Looked like something out of a fairy tale. There were castle buildings along with a few odd contemporary buildings and lots of people walking by. I flew about this town aimlessly, feeling appreciation for the guidance I was getting. I was feeling a lot of pleasant emotions.

A pink rollercoaster ride came into view - I wondered if I was in some kind of theme park. This place had a playful DisneyLand feel to it. I focused on it and easily floated down towards it. I was now above the seats and recalled all the sensations I've felt on rollercoaster rides in the physical. Sitting down I wondered if it was the same in this magical place - maybe even more exhilirating, the seats were immobile to notice. I realised I hadn't yet communicated with anyone and had intentions to do so when again the arrows in a larger size, now looking more like a compass appeared just a few feet away. The left arrow was flashing and I headed west. I felt I was going up higher. My arms felt like they were flopping. I looked at them and noticed they were as clear as daylight. I was getting so excited, wanted to explore more but then had a thought that if I don't wake up and jot down some quick notes I will forget everything that eventuated, with that I opened my eyes.

This experience has definitely confirmed my belief in spirit guides though I did not see or hear anyone the guidance was definitely there. I hope that from now on I am able to clearly recognize these guidance I am offered.

I tried to project again, somehow felt confident that I could have another experience just as effortlessly and I did. Next post, 'Inside Someone's Head'.

November 3, 2008

Out with the New, In with the Old

Meditated twice in the evening with the sessions lasting 10 minutes each - I haven't practiced deep breathing for some time now, most likely the reason why the deep breathing today wasn't having that relaxing effect on me. Anyways, I was still able to get relaxed enough by just following the sensations of my breathing. Began hearing spanish words- sounded like a whole lot of gibberish, not very good at Spanish so was unable to make out clear sentences. I clearly remember hearing the word navella or nabella - not sure what it means but I remember trying to figure it out at the time.

I haven't been meditating consistently with the traditional technique of following the breath, however I have been listening to some guided meditations. I'm having different effects with the guided meditations - the relaxing process feels much longer compared to the traditional method of focusing on the breath and at times can be frustrating, maybe this has a lot more to do with me and my inability to follow instructions. With that said I have had two or three refreshing sessions with the guided meditation. I intend on sticking with some of the traditional methods and on occasions using guided meditation.