September 24, 2011


Early morning in the midst of sleep alerted to physical body because arms were moving of their own accord. Each time it occured I became strongly aware of a presence - a being which has occupied what I consider to be my physical body. It was thinking specific thoughts and like a child playing with what looked like my arms, raising them up and swirling about. I can't recall the thoughts but it was playful and even cheerful.

Head did some kind of crazy somersaults.

September 17, 2011


At first aware that I'm in bed, zone out soon enough - feeling groggy look up to see a round light fixing. In a different room entirely. I feel that I'm in a hospital and something happened and the physical life was not my life. I felt that I was some patient, perhaps I had been in a coma and this physical life was a long dream from which I had finally awakened.

September 13, 2011

Eye Twister

In the midst of sleep time I become aware of the physical body in bed. To my right there's a glowing light which seemed to look like a being. It glides across very near to my legs. Major fear coming from me when I realize that my body is paralysed.

Legs bent so as it moved to the end of the bed I was not sure what it was up to - it was consistently emanating a glowing light, parts were yellow other parts hinted with different shades. As I forced myself out of the paralysis the moving light Being smoothly reached the wall where the window should have been and became the window with the early morning light outside glowing the room. At that point I realized that my eyes were twisted - becoming aware suddenly the physical had been scrambled - much like lego where every bits were stored or stashed away and what I had witnessed was my physical surrounding reforming. As the body reforms so does the world around it. I should not have been so afraid, it seems this was a very natural process.

It was around 5ish am and about 30 minutes later I relaxed lying down on the front side. Found myself in that unusual surrounding, there was a light emanating on right side and the entire physical structure had become twisted - at this stage I was aware that once again the eyes were also twisted or perhaps it was something inside that projected this twisted structure. The light was very near to the eyes. I wondered what part of the room was this light emanating from. There was an eruption near rectum where I am feeling a forceful energetic sensation. I know it is related to mula bandha or root lock. Encouraging the movement feeling an incredible sexual intensity I think somewhere I lose conscious awareness and maybe enter a dream state. Wake up from alarm at 7:35am - briefly close eyes where I see multiplying blue grains of glowing light.

September 12, 2011


At 3:15am woke up and from then started urine therapy something I have stopped several months ago due to the appearance of a lump near neck which the doctors are unable to conclude on a diagnosis. I think in some ways the practice of urine therapy (aka shivambu) may have triggered this morning experience in some ways.

6am still awake unable to sleep closed eyes and relaxed waiting for sleep. I found myself in the living room with my nephew sitting down on the sofa and immediately realize I am dreaming. I'm talking to him but he is being rather annoying - I tell him that I love him and that he is so adorable making him blush like a girl which silences him.

The scene warps into darkness - suddenly I feel a sensation in the rectum, felt like a finger or a rod sticking up. Very painful and uncomfortable. I'm aware of my bedroom at this stage and that I'm back in bed sleeping on the front side. I turn around on my back and the sensation subsides but travels up to the tailbone and rattles. I wonder if I should've remained still.

Close eyes and start to see through my eyelids faces slightly forming on ceiling.

Open eyes and close them again. This time a glowing line forming a man appears, he seems to be on top vibrating or rocking vigorously to the rhythm of that wave sensation almost as if he is causing it. Open eyes one more time and feel the shaking is a deep inner sensation slightly moving outwards. Close eyes again his form still visible I reach out with my arms but they go through him passing by to the window my hands look so vivid. I rocket out the window flying by little odd buildings that look like creatures, living yet made out of solid inanimate material. I soar up high across a lot of dome shaped buildings.

As I'm flying there is an ecstatic feeling of incomprehensible joy, I feel as though I have been set free. I feel like singing and the song that comes to mind is from a bollywood movie. Song called Papa kehte hain. The inner voice is singing this song so loud I am briefly abrupted thinking it can be heard in the physical which makes me return slowly.

Back in again enter a dream sequence where in my house I see a ghost and start to feel comfortable around it initially after some fear mounts on the surface. I could feel the others are present and get this sense that this is some kind of dream test that I have yet to face the real challenge in the physical focus. Aware of the body with a feeling of lurking presence, worried about what I'll see when I open eyes - not sure about seeing ghosts just yet.

Open eyes slowly, a gust of wind gushes through my ears, nose and head area as though something roaring within me which took me by suprise.

September 9, 2011

Through The Eyelids

Went to bed last night briefly wondering about astral projections. It started in the midst of self-enquiry, I wondered if I am not the physical body then what is an astral projection - even in these projections the 'I' is present. Are APs simply dreams within this dream?

Continued with the self enquiry until I fell asleep. At 4am woke up from a nightmare where I and others around me were fighting robots and other monstrous looking creatures. I was aiming at a broken open part of a robot that was attacking me woke up feeling pain near left side waist and stomach churning. Emptied bladder and by 5am relaxed for sleep.

There was that sensation of electricity coursing through the left calves - this time a lot more deliberate. I followed the feeling and instead of moving about just allowed it to move freely. Straightened legs. Eventually I felt something gripping a piece at the middle of forehead - moving something with force - like taking a plug off, it was removed whatever 'it' was. Something is going on in the face - I feel rather than hear crunchiness, cracking and snapping mostly near nasal region.

The entire time my eyes were closed. Soon I was seeing my room and the visible furniture through the eyelids. Had a feeling of a presence - it was inside me and it was this presence that was seeing through the eyelids. I could feel it so strongly yet it was silent and unmoving. For a brief moment I thought how cool it would be if I could always see through the eyelids - started to think about certain tricks like asking others to hold up random number of fingers and telling them the exact number of fingers all the while with closed eyes.

The 'others' start to emerge on the ceiling just like in Salvia experiences. If they had been visible before Salvia experiences this incident would've scared me. There was no exchange of communication except that of facial expressions. Their look said something along the lines of 'It worked'. They seemed to be huddled together and being very cautious as to how I would react. My reaction is that I'm not afraid and mentally I say to them that it's okay, they can come through - there's no fear at least on my part. I am smiling, very happy to be able to see them especially without the use of Salvia.

I look away briefly and there is an anticlockwise spin. Sinking downwards and all is dark with a few visible glimmers of physical surrounding. I start to ask 'who am I' - who is the 'I' that has this experience and hold on to that.

In another space now - a big mansion like building. Members of my family are present here. I wonder what they are doing here. As I see them all I think that one of them is having this dream and I may have entered it. Or not. Too busy walking around to talk to anyone. Ahead I see a window and maybe a reflection of something. Want to zoom to it but it doesn't work so use the old fashioned form of transport and walk. After this everything is hazy.

Waking up this morning my brain felt heavy like it was overworked. Past few days feel like this fatigue of body and overworked brain has been increasing. Though throughout the day time energy levels seem normal.

September 8, 2011

Early Fatigue

It is day 5 since tailbone arousal with liquid flowing down and voila, body feels increasingly tired especially in morning. I have been trying to feed this body properly but healthy eating has been quite a struggle.

September 4, 2011

Tailbone Arousal

This morning woke up at 4 back to sleep by 5. Fall asleep only to be alerted back to the body where near the tailbone feel sexual arousal - cramping sensation yet very sexual. Incredibly aroused I encouraged the motion yet it was near to unbearable. Felt solid movement going up spine. Eventually decided to just let it take its course and lost consciousness.

Lately there has been an uncontrollable sexual intensity. Past two days feeling more tired than usual - needing to nap. There has been a feeling of flowing liquid going downwards from tailbone when this occured I had a feeling that I was going to feel tired due to this.