November 30, 2009

Energy Currents During Meditation

It has become a bit difficult to meditate, it's not that I can't remain still or relax, I just can't bring myself to schedule a session like I used to. I don't have that same motivation I once had. Now I meditate when it feels right and I can do it naturally.

Last week I managed to meditate once. As I let my attention to thoughts and sounds play out, in a seemingly ordinary state there was some sudden heart palpitations, fingers and hands twitching, some movements in my thighs and then energy shooting up my legs. I felt like my entire body was being charged with electrical currents.

Reappearance of the Being

Saturday woke up 4am from phone ringing. 2 hours later began to relax. A warm feeling washed over me, I felt so warm inside the smile formed on my face as a natural reaction. Immediately followed by this was the sensation of cobwebs over my face and then goosebumps all over my right arm. I knew this meant there was something nearby, looked to my right and there was the being that I had recently met. I didn't have time to stare at it long enough to be certain because my right ear began to vibrate at an uncomfortable rate.

I averted my glance suddenly feeling vulnerable and a little afraid as the ear vibration made me feel I was lacking in control. I had a feeling my ear vibration was due to the being trying to communicate with me or it's possible that my ear was tuning into a different frequency. I tried to let the vibrations settle down without resisting but it was impossible to endure it and so I gave up and attempted to stop it instead.

So after fidgeting for a good few minutes the vibration finally stopped, but the feeling of the presence was still nearby. I didn't care to look. I was afraid to look but more than that I was annoyed. I just wanted to sleep at least for an hour and wake up feeling rejuvinated which is not the way I've been feeling lately. In order to avoid seeing this being I turned to rest on my front and began to relax once more and instantly felt a kind of funneling in my left ear. There was some root chakra sensation and some sexual stimulation present until I slipped in an altered state of consciousness where I percieved that I was in the back of a vehicle looking out at a suburb street passing by.

Once again I feel like I had triggered this, that night before bed I randomly thought about what that being was to begin with but I had no intention for another encounter. It was a background thought of very little significance.

November 22, 2009

Ribs Shift and Nonverbal Communication

This was perhaps the most extremely intense thing that has ever happened to me. I was suddenly alarmed in middle of sleep with my body in a strange twisted position. It was dark but had tactile sensation, though I still couldn't tell left from right. I had extreme breathing difficulty unable to breath in at all, gasping for air. My ribs were shifting outwards, snapping, cracking and being pulled by some force. It was agonizing yet strangely there was no pain, maybe just psychological trauma. I wasn't fighting it, not because I didn't want to but because it was impossible. Suddenly I got a flash of two people I know and I was being informed non-verbally that they will be going through the same procedure. Some time later became unconscious of the activity.

That morning had an astral type experience where I was surrounded by an array of birds, some I could identify (pigeons, sparrows etc) and a few others I don't think I've ever seen before. There was a particular bird, creamish colour with brown patches and large in size staring at me. I remember trying to memorize every inch of this bird so that I could look it up, still haven't found it.

Update on Recent Energy Activity

Recently I've been experiencing a lot of energy activity ranging from mild to extreme.

The Mild:

  • Tremors - randomly here and there
  • Pressures in head - there was just one day where the pressure was unbearable and felt pain
  • Cramps and sharp pain in lower abdomen (occurred during evening, by the time I got to bed surrendered to the pain and miraculously fell asleep)
  • During meditation left arm itched and then felt like bug crawling under skin, sensation proceeded in right arm
  • Water bubbling up spine during hot bath - was pleasant but finished up fast due to feeling dizzy

The Extreme:
  • Legs shaking (sat down letting the legs shake it off)
  • Legs and arms swinging out just as I drift off to sleep (at one point grabbed the edge of my bed certain that whatever was moving my arms and legs was trying to throw me out of bed - occured again in the morning)
  • Heart palpitation
  • Weird twisted posture with ribs being shifted - written in more detail in the next post

November 13, 2009

Astral Travel via Energized Third Eye Chakra

I awoke 2am constantly cleaning out bladder. After this it was impossible to sleep - this insomnia is becoming consistent taking place almost every night.

By 6am I thought I was going to lose my mind, highly stressed and agitated I started taking deep breaths. Then began focusing on the gentle natural rhythm of my breathing. It took time until I even felt mildly relaxed. There was some energy movement in various parts but mild compared to previous nights, until the energy focus was completely in the location of the third eye chakra.

In the Sky
At first there's a vibration until it was like an inner tremor between the brows. My ears vibrate and burn. I rotate to the other side of the room, everything dark. As I sink something comes in focus, like a cap being removed from camera lens or simply peeping through one eye. I raise up towards this image, I'm about to go through something and may lose focus. I need something to help me focus, so I keep repeating 'Spirit Guides' like a mantra. I go through something completely forgetting my intention. I'm flying on my back staring at the sky. There are unusual circular objects flying in the air and I assume they are some kind of aircraft. I get too close to one, certain that it would hit me but realize nothing can hurt me in this state. As I pass by, not exactly controlling my movement, there are more weird shaped objects above me.

The Apartment
My recall is fuzzy here - I end up in an apartment, in the living room there are several people seated on the couch and some on the floor. I particularly remember a teenager. One of the woman there is speaking. 'Don't you think she should leave him?' she asks. They're in a conversation completely irrelevant to me until the woman calls out my name. I walk up to her confused in a sort of daze. 'What do you think?' she was clearly asking me. I wasn't thinking much which was probably why I was confused - it was like my thought process had shut down and now slowly I was trying to speak back. 'Why should she leave? Why doesn't she leave? She should leave.' Suddenly it's like I'm remembering something and hearing the sound of my voice made me think I was physically speaking and from a physical perspective I would appear to be talking in my sleep. I try to wake up just a little - halfway to see if I am speaking out. I have an FA followed by a vision of a Hindu deity.

The Deity
I'm lying down and shift to my right side, the image of what looks like a giant Hindu Goddess doesn't even startle me. She speaks. 'Oh, one so small. Let me tell you why we have a head. The head is there to know.' Those weren't her exact words, her speech was more poetic. She continued speaking. I look down and see a mini version of herself sitting beside her listening attentively.

In the Sky II
Back in bed same chakra and ear sensation. This second time round I realized that I could AP anytime, some kind of connection was made. All I had to do was pull the energy into the third eye chakra through the breath. Although I didn't deliberately pull energy into that chakra and intend to AP for this projection intentionally, I was watching the third eye mechanism in motion and understood the process. Once again I'm flying with my gaze at the sky, there are square and rectangular shaped wired meshes above me, all flapping in random directions. I land on my feet, and glide. In front of me are lots of cars made of plastic, look like big toy cars. Suddenly there is a loud sound of glass breaking, I panic thinking it's coming from the physical, someone is breaking in my house. I intend to return but it's difficult almost like a magnet is constantly pulling me back. I phase in and out and when I return completely there is no sign of a break in.

November 12, 2009

Another Night of Energetic Activity

Last night the energy activity made itself more present. Here's a list of last nights activity, not in the order that they took place:

  • Difficulty sleeping, unable to relax
  • Jaw shifted
  • Sleeping on front made the protruding sternum press down
  • Heart also felt and sounded like it was punching rather than beating
  • Resting on back random chakra sensations were first subtle
  • I rested my arms on duvet near belly, left arm raised and dropped
  • Index finger on left hand raised up and then I put it back down - this repeated
  • I bent my knees to get comfortable, felt immediate sensation of root chakra (tingling and wiggly movements)
  • Solar plexus pulsating with a vibration
  • Sternum was being charged - of all the sensations and movements this was most intense
  • Throat contracted, vibrated and tingled, something inside felt squirmy
  • Muscles in arms and legs clenched and relaxed
  • Movements in genital area
  • Right ear vibrations and heat sensation
  • Energy (tingles and pressure) in soles of feet shooting upwards through leg
  • Right arm which was near belly was moved to the side (at this point I understood that I had to keep arms by my side)
  • Arms on the side, my hands tingled
  • Sharp stinging sensations in several parts
  • Face squinted
Not sure how long after I fell asleep, maybe 3 hours. Though being aware of this energy is fascinating, I really need some sleep. I realize that with this energy present there is a lot of random side effects, everything about it is unpredictable.

I intend to set some time aside purely for relaxing, some extra time to let the energy play out.

Here Comes The Pain

Yesterday morning I woke up in pain throughout the body that I've felt for the first time in my life. The muscles in my arms, legs and back were aching and sore, there were pangs of pain deep in my bones. My entire body was so peculiar with bones sticking out - I suddenly felt physically what it must be like to be severely anorexic.

I relaxed by focusing on my breathing to manage the pain before getting out of bed. During the relaxation my left hand moved to my face and my fingers began gently stroking my left cheek, after this I ended the session.

The pain was manageable, it was only in the evening that I experienced some more severe pains and cramps.

My appetite has reduced greatly since the flu and now I have to make an effort to eat.

November 10, 2009

Protruding Sternum

I slept early yesterday, woke up once due to sensitivity to noise. There were no signs of any K type activity that I was aware of. When I woke up this morning I was glad I got 8 hours of sleep, but I still felt tired with a heavy weight feeling. There was a strange sensation near my chest. Something felt different. I checked exactly where the sensation was and discovered that my sternum was protruding (the middle lower part of the chest) - not too much to look scary but enough to scare me. Even the bones in my back and spine feel different. There's also a slight indentation just below sternum, like it's sucked in. Fortunately it's not painful.

November 9, 2009

Light Flashes and Sleepless Night

Last night I did not sleep at all, I had the usual chakra sensations and other things going on. At first there were these sudden flashes of light, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. I was in deep thought which was keeping me awake, sudden flashes of memories came to mind particularly incidents from my childhood. I even solved a few mysteries that had perplexed me as a child. These are things I rarely ever think about so it was strange how all that shot through my head.

Suddenly I spotted a white light on the wall adjacent to my window, it was an oval shape with a diameter of about 2cm. It would morph and glimmer as if dancing. It was definitely not a ball of light, 2D flat on the wall. I thought it's obviously moonlight or some other light reflecting through the window and the blinds were slightly open, it's movement was creepy. I left it down to cloud and mist causing it to appear to be changing shape. Rational explanations are comforting.

Suddenly in the corner of my left eye a line of white light flashed. Then somewhere in the corner of my right side of the room. At times it was like a swooshing light but mostly flashes. I had an eerie sense that I was not alone. Got up to look out the window expecting to see a bright moon I was surprised by the array of stars in the night sky. They were of course brightly lit and some would glimmer. They seemed to be jerking or shifting left and right, I don't know much about the behaviours of stars but there was something intriguing about this scene.

Again I tried to just fall asleep, but my mind was strangely occupied. The lights continued to appear, I just decided to take no notice. I thought about this energy that has become more concentrated lately and I decided since I can't sleep I would just lie awake and observe it. I guess I was challenging it to amplify while I was still awake. The muscles in my right arm began to clench and relax followed by my left arm at which point I realized I'm better off being unconscious. I closed my eyes relaxing more and more, suddenly I felt my left arm lift up and then drop. My immediate thought was that this energy is actually intelligent, I knew straight away that the arm drop was a test to see if I had fallen asleep.

I felt goosebumps in my right arm, there was a sensation of warmth and hairs standing up. That was a confirmation that I was spot on about the energy testing me. It was impossible falling asleep, no matter how much I tried I just could not relax. Eventually at about 4am I started drifting off but a loud crashing tearing sound in my head startled me and it took another hour to drift off again. At around 5am my entire body felt like it was exploding over and over again, there were tugging, yanking sensations in certain body parts. The energy felt like it was mostly concentrated in my head, neck and spine, these areas were vibrating intensely. I know the best course of action is to remain still when this happens but I needed to shift around just to confirm I can still function. After that I still could not sleep with light phases of drifting off and being shocked awake. In the end there was some benefit from all this, the anger I had felt during that day felt like it had become neutralized. Suddenly I realized that all things, whether good or bad, the wide spectrum of emotions were blessings in disguise.

November 6, 2009

Meeting Spirit - Trust Issues

For over a week I've been suffering from a really bad case of flu and now just recovering. During this period the sex dreams and episodes of extreme sexual urges have been intense. On one occasion I felt myself in that state between asleep and awake, it was vivid and with all the sexual urges I began stripping myself.

I know what the dreams and the urges mean and how it relates to this new energy I feel constantly in my system - there's definitely some deep cleansing, purification going on in the second chakra, but something didn't add up. There was a missing element and I had a deep desire to understand it so I did a whole lot of research on the sexual aspect of Kundalini and found this miracle of a website Kundalini-teacher. There are two articles I read that helped me to connect the dots Lust/Lack and Divine Beloved. I knew that with these crazy dreams some unconscious aspect of me was communicating with me and the craziness was there to get my attention.

Last night I opened up particularly to the male aspect but I wondered what I would say when that part does manifest in some form. An interesting thing happened, I think I witnessed my first UFO sighting last night. I couldn't sleep feeling fidgety, got up. Something outside in the night sky caught my attention. It was a deep amber light and looked like a glimmering twinkling star gliding by unlike any aircraft I've ever seen. Eventually fell asleep.

Woke up at 4am biting, chewing with my teeth as if eating food. My head felt like it would split open, the unconscious chewing explains the headache I've been experiencing past few mornings. After two hours I attempted to relax hoping to get some sleep, a bit hesitant and anxious knowing that sleep and astral activity has been replaced with something completely unpredictable.

I relaxed, still awake staring out the window I noticed something fluttering. A bird, a massive butterfly maybe? I couldn't identify it but it was coming through inside my bedroom, landing somewhere on my bed. There was a tingling all over my face, spreading over my neck. This was new, it felt like pins and needles with a numbing sensation, but more powerful than this sensation was the presence I felt nearby.

I began moving out like some force was carrying me backwards. I caught a glimmer of a tiny shadow being, it was amazing to be so close to it without going straight into shock. It was about 3 or 4 ft tall, I thought it was a child. It was dark so I could only see it's figure and no features. Then I remembered that I wanted to say something, I remembered planning it all night or even my entire life. My only problem was I couldn't remember what it was. I'm standing still amazed by this being but perplexed at my own confusion. A bubbling feeling surged through me and the words came out like a siren 'I love you'.

The being lit up, no longer a dark shadow. It was bathed in a golden bright light, but still hiding under a thick robe, I felt incredible joy. This being was only just beginning to reveal itself. Unfortunately, the joy transmuted to fear when I began thinking it was too much too soon. I closed my eyes, backed away and like a raving lunatic continuously admitted that I couldn't go through with it because I was too afraid. I began panting, my breathing felt irregular. I thought 'There's no place like home' and like Dorothy, in that instant you could say that I was back in Kansas.

I was relieved but also disappointed that I could be afraid of something so beautiful. The fear was irrational. The entire meeting with this being had transpired for 15 minutes. One thing is very clear now, spirit guides, unconscious aspects of your consciousness, whatever label you want to give them they do not make direct connection for a very good reason or they only attempt to do so when they're certain you are ready. Their appearance and presence seems to have the effect of a septic shock. It's either that or I clearly have some trust issues.