The Eagle Dream

I had a very intriguing eagle dream this morning that seemed to have left a great impression on my mind as I woke up.

My two younger sisters and a cousin are messing around with some of their perfumes in my bedroom. My cousin is holding a perfume bag and reads the inscription 'Use with any other perfume'. She begins to say how she was right as she had kept going on about this particular perfume and how it needed to be used with another perfume.

I wondered at this particular point whether she has any idea why it needs to be used with another perfume so I begin to explain. I tell her it's an enhancer, that the perfume in that bottle is odourless and when you use that and then apply another perfume it enrichens the smell and keeps it lasting longer. Now - in reality I've never heard of a perfume enhancer or know whether such a thing exists.

She seems to be at a lost how I have more knowledge about this perfume than she does since I absolutely hate perfumes. I begin to wonder myself and I think at this point I almost woke up within the dream.

They start spraying several kinds of perfumes all over and before it hits my sense of smell I go open the window. As I open it there is a great eagle, the most gigantic bird I've ever seen make it's way in my direction looking straight at me. At first I'm in awe but panic as it gets closer and quickly close the window. It turns and flies through the window of my home office. Now I panic even more and make my sisters and cousin panic because it's in my house. I grab the phone and wonder who I'm supposed to call, the RSPCA, the police maybe.

Upon reflecting on this dream I realize it is highly symbolic of something and I've been looking up on eagles in terms of spiritually. Discovered that in Shamanism the eagle totem represents spiritual healing among other things.

Article on the eagle totem
More on animal totems

Meditation - Learning Equanimity & The Monkey Mind

I started meditating for the past several days without any goals or expectations, perhaps there is that underlying goal of connecting with the Source of everything we perceive here. For the time being I've put Hemi-Sync programs on hold.

For the first few sessions I've been mostly losing consciousness during meditation. When I did snap back to consciousness and end the session I felt really light headed and incredibly spacey. I also felt energy rushing in my arms. Whenever I concentrate on my breathing now I feel a pressure between my brows, even when I'm not meditating but just focus on my breathing.

Yesterday during a meditation session I felt several symptoms that seem like signs of Kundalini rising, at first there were a few chakra sensations which was followed by something swarming about in my back. I heard and felt my heart thumping loud and some tightness in my chest. This was followed by an electric like sensation all over my lower back, that particular area felt like it was heating up. There was also some tingling sensation in my legs which showed up as I ended the session.

In another session yesterday I had a most enlightening experience. At about 7pm it was extremely difficult to quiet my mind - it was rampant with incessant thoughts. I thought I had overcome this but it had been proven otherwise. I applied some equanimity and just observed my thoughts in a detached non-judgemental way. It was a long process but eventually I noticed my irrelevant thoughts that seemed to be overlayed with another mode of thoughts which seemed like it had a mind of its own - this other mode of thoughts was trying to shut up my monkey mind, all the while I was the observor of the two. It was like having three people in the same room, two of them arguing and the third person just passively observing them.

The Illusions of Kundalini

The Illusion
The past two weeks I have made a very radical shift. After a question and answer session with myself about the nature of reality and how I can enhance or even speed the creation and manifestation process whilst I'm having this human experience - the basic answer and somehow I knew it before it came out, was that reality is an illusion. Because it's an illusion there is no need to change it, or enhance or improve it.

This led to looking into teachings that have the same school of thought and I have come across some interesting mind altering material - I'll write about this another time.

What I've been doing the past few days is attempting to looking at my reality (the experiences that unfold, whether they're good or bad, subtle or intense) as an illusion. This means that all the techniques I use, all the ideas and beliefs I have are not real and this includes astral projections and dreams everything you can possibly perceive within this reality. I have to admit understanding this is really mind boggling.

Illusions can be Spine Tingling
This morning I woke up at 5:30am, there was a slight problem, slight because I was able to immediately see it as an illusion. After a short while of the problem settling down perhaps just serving it's purpose (assisting in my awakening) I began to realize how I can't use APs to figuring out the mysteries of life or using it to explore who I really am. There is no method within this reality that can lead me to the Truth, to that which is an illusion. So I surrendered, nothing was needed to be done at least I know I can't do anything from the perspective that the doing will yield results because that idea itself is an illusion. So I left it to the greater part of me to guide me and that I will just go with the flow.

At 7:15 am I felt inspired to meditate which is about the only tool I can seem to use because it's the one practice with which I have no goals attached to. I seem to have no expectations with meditation.

As I focused on the natural rhythm of my breathing, had to shift my position so that I was lying on my front but still focusing on my breathing. Eventually the vibrations erupted in my head followed by high pitch sound travelling into my right ear - I could clearly feel the sensation of the sound. I reminded myself that it was an illusion. Overlayed with the high pitch sound was the sound of an aeroplane - how convenient I thought just when I'm about to AP realizing that even that was an illusion as are the symptoms preceding it. These vibrations were somewhat different I think mostly because I still had full awareness of my body.

After what seemed like a long time I wondered why I haven't made the usual exit - were my thoughts of the process being an illusion somehow stopping the AP from unfolding? I didn't really care much for what was to take place. The vibes cooled down a bit or more like transformed into a tingling energy surge sensation I felt it move down from my head to the back of my neck, slowly down the full length of my spine and then back up again - my immediate thought was 'Wow, this is a sign of Kundalini rising' which was followed by a knowing that even that was an illusion. I found myself in a very nonreactive mode - in fact my only reaction was that whatever was happening is an illusion, no exceptions.

Soon I felt a presence around me and thought it could be a group rather than just an individual - of course out of habit I determined it was an illusion. I could hear something breathing on the back of my neck and it felt masculine - it transformed into a male voice, 2 thoughts that I could hear 'Still' and 'Relax'.

The tingling continued up and down my spine with the added sense of this male presence engulfing me - there was also a sense that this male presence was more within me rather than a separate entity outside of me. Then a most unusual thing happened as the tingling made it's way downward - my anus felt like it was widening followed by a severe cramping feeling. This felt really unpleasant even though deep down I knew it was an illusion I couldn't help but get absorbed by the realness of it. I realized that I could no longer associate myself as a female, nor a male - suddenly I felt completely genderless. There was an eruption of intense sexual arousal - I felt intoxicated.

In a bid to stop that unpleasant cramping I turned around to rest on my back which didn't change anything other than that I began to levitate - about an inch off my bed. I felt completely solid and dense as though I were still in my physical body - I did not dare to open my eyes. I decided I'm not ready for this - it was way too weird no matter how illusory it really was. At about 8:10am I turned to my side and opened my eyes got up with tingling still in my spine. My head nodded involuntarily for a short while - it was as if that involuntary action was dissipating the tingling until I readjusted into normalcy.

Street Roaming

Time: 7:15am
Technique: WBTB (woke up at 5am - listened to hemi-sync & during exercise felt heart & throat chakra sensations)
Mood: Calm
Symptoms: fluttering eyelids, vibrations in head, floating of consciousness, speedy movement
Goals: None

As I turn to my left side, very relaxed I could feel the oncoming of the vibrations. There's a slight physical distraction - I could hear my nephew in the next room crying and almost get up to check on him but refrain from any movement knowing his mother is there.

I close my eyes and my eyelids begin to flutter as the vibrations start to erupt in my head. Now I just notice my bed and the wall and begin to turn slowly anticlockwise - I think I'm heading for the window, since in cases like this that seems to be the routine.

Much to my surprise I head in the other direction towards the room next to mine. I can clearly see my bed but I'm moving so fast that my thoughts have slowed down and I don't even think to see if my body is where I left it.

I'm moving backwards and should I move back any further I would be entering the other room, but I don't. It's like I'm in the same spot with the sensation of moving backwards or my room is stretching. Suddenly I sink with blindness, however I can still feel that I am moving. I can even feel the direction I'm moving in now which is forward.

My vision returns, I'm swooshing across in a large dim living room - there's a large window across the room and I know I'm heading in that direction. As I go through the window blindness returns, but the sensation of moving is present. My vision slowly once again returns. I'm somewhere in a field, it is broad daylight, a nice sunny day. There are different types of vehicles parked. I notice a small cabin, there are bench tables. I can see groups of people about and think I'm in some camp site. Now I'm swooshing by even faster, feeling like a point of consciousness. I seem to have no control of the movement or I'm just so used to not trying to control it. I feel like I'm being carried by the wind, it is a really pleasant feeling.

I've somehow ended up in a street - my vision a lot clearer. I can see groups of people and others just walking by. I focus on a woman wearing a head scarf and suddenly I feel more dense now like I just got inside a body. I can't help but think I've just occupied a body that belongs to someone else. I'm adjusting to ordinary movement but my walking is a little sluggish. I walk up to the woman, excited I ask her for her name. Miraculously she replies although she isn't facing me so I can't tell if her mouth is moving - I think I heard her say something like 'Eku'.

I look up at the buildings and my surroundings wondering where I am, I ask the woman but she starts to walk off.

I spot an elderly woman and approach her hoping she could tell me where I am, but funnily enough she seems to be walking faster than me. Now I think there's no point - I'll have to just look about. Finally I find a street sign that reads 'Lea' a bit short and very easy to remember but there are other small letters I have a hard time focusing on. I feel like I can't stop and pause for too long - vision is getting a bit hazy so I walk on trying to speed up taking in as much as I can.

I can see a bus stop, a lot like the ones in London but a bit older looking. I stop to look for clues but again vision starts to get hazy. I simply continue to walk on.

I observe a variety of buildings. I don't bother to look inside these buildings as I'm focused on the signs. I look up at the signs hoping to see the names of these buildings and any clues (street number, name, telephone numbers anything verifiable). Some I suppose are shops. I notice a particular name 'Vepa' which seems familiar then I notice another name 'Cop' ending with a heart symbol.

I suddenly feel like I'm about to lose consciousness. I need to get up and quickly note down this experience before I forget it completely and with that final thought I return to C-1 at 7:35am.

False Awakening to Reality

I have been experiencing a lot of SP lately during my attempts to AP.

This morning I attempted at 6am but within a few minutes fell asleep. Woke up at 7:30 and decided to try again. I had to focus on relaxing. I felt my face was incredibly tense, especially my eyelids which were tightly sealed causing wrinkles so I let them relax then let my jaw hang loose focusing on the rhythm of my breathing.

Once completely relaxed I almost immediately found myself in the SP state - I'm never really sure what to do during these states other than try to move but I refrained from forcing any movement hoping that eventually it will lead to an AP.

I woke up and felt the sensation of my earphones plugged in my ears. This was strange as I couldn't recall putting on my mp3 player last night. I briefly thought maybe I'm just slightly disoriented since I had just woken up. Eyes closed, still sleepy I reached out to grab the mp3 player on the left side of the bed feeling for it. As I brought it closer to view what I last listened to I was shocked into alertness. I could not see my arms, my hands nor the device that I thought I was holding. However, the bed was visible, my room still existed except for my body. I could feel the sensation of moving my arms. It wasn't long till panic set in. Soon enough I continued having a few more false awakenings each time thinking I had awakened until finally I really woke up at 9am - funnily enough the only time that I decided to do a reality check.

FAs are really interesting and they are usually incredibly vivid. I think they go by unnoticed simply because in the context in which they unfold - in a very familiar physical format. They replicate the physical almost completely and the belief that you have woken up is just as present as when you really do wake up. Perhaps this is why it is easy to be fooled by them and therefore harder to notice the slight variations. Even when sometimes the variable is a missing arm or two it is still a little tricky to realize you're having a false awakening. They don't occur regularly and most likely why I can't seem to recognize it when I'm having one.