May 25, 2011

Soaring Bird Cage

Got up 6am, by 7am drifted off with no intention to AP.

Even though I had drifted off it felt the entire time the transition occured whilst completely awake. I can't recall that I had actually drifted off.

Suddenly the ceiling was just an ich away from my face, at which point I knew I was projecting. Soaring through roof going higher, other places unfamiliar below me - this Earth or another dimension? Not sure. Did not focus on details just passively observing.

I started to get a little concerned about physical body, what if those 'others' started to take control of it in my absence knowing that some of these others are a rather mischievous bunch. It would be the perfect moment for them to possess the body. Let go, whatever happens happens, need to let go.

Have an FA where I'm in the garden and at the end on neighbours shed I see a few planters. I don't recall starting these and check them out. As I walk closer I am blinded. Now I know I'm still projecting. Consciousness now focused and aware of body and bedroom. Eyes open I look up and on the ceiling is a young man, he is like a moving picture but feels to be actually there. He simply stares at me. I notice he is behind bars looking through but it seems that I am the prisoner. I feel caged, locked up. I am not at all sure about what to make of his presence, he is very silent but still gliding across the ceiling.

My gaze falls at the large mirror on the wall - there a floral pattern emerges, not in colour but lines of shadows creating the moving image. The pattern twists and turns until fully converted into two birds. The two birds kiss, they fly away and I can hear their wings flapping.

Once again my awareness is back in the room and to my right I see a black cat, and room suddenly looks different. Then everything reverts back to original room where the black cat converts back into my black cardigan on the chair.

It was all in the mind, and this mind is shaping what we see right now. The mind can completely convert everything that we see and this could occur globally so that everyone can see the conversion and even have their own conversions.

Recently in a salvia experience I had an experience where I realized there was an unravelling in the mind like being set free to the Truth, in my case I knew it was only a fragment but I got a taste of what will occur globally.

I think that when it does occur globally Truth being unravelled individually in each person we will all know that it has happened to the each other. Something will make it obvious.

These new projections are quite intriguing, the 'others' are making themselves more and more visible and I am not getting any of those pre-astral symptoms such as the high pitched sound which I always associated with the scratching of blackboards and felt could be connected to airplanes - always dreading this. Also in particular no vibrations, spinning and none of that head drilling activity anymore.

May 11, 2011

Morning nightmares - the criminals

This morning woke up from a nightmare where I am viewing inside a room a woman seated on a chair and a man who I get the sense is her brother. I figure out the plot of the scene and realize the brother is deranged and he has held the sister captive for someone else to attack. She is calm thinking of a way out.

He finally leaves and I get a closer look zooming or moving more in front of her. Her hands are cuffed and she's tied to the chair - did not initially notice this before. She hops her way into the kitchen and grabs the phone but the lines dead. She ends up in another room and someone else not sure if it's her brother or someone else has entered the room. Grabbing her and sticking a gun to her belly he is pretending to shoot making trigger sounds - teasing her to panic. She is panicking only I think the shock has become too much that she looks to be paralysed yet I know she's still alive. Suddenly he pulls the gun to her left temple and shoots, the bullet has gone through her brain and I can see how in an instant her body has become lifeless.

Woke up startled thinking 'Whoa! Why am I dreaming this?' This particular dream did not just feel like a dream, I feel like the consciousness went somewhere where this event was actually taking place here in this world that is possibly a dream itself.

Awake I just close my eyes for a few seconds and immediately I'm in another scene. I'm held captive to my left is a child and to my right another adult. I think the child is a girl, not sure about adult as there's a man in front of me holding a sledge hammer. We're held captive and he's threatening us with this large hammer. I beg him to leave the child alone, he tells me he has no intention to hurt the child - it seems I'm the target and I start to think of ways to defend myself.

I end up somehow in another room - a woman lying down, I know she's violent and I have a memory of her torturing me and in a fit of rage seeking revenge as well as wanting to protect myself of anything further she may want to do I attack by throwing things at her and almost whacking her to death. She's not budging, just laughing in a wicked way almost as if she still has some power over me - anger intensifies and I open eyes again startled by a violent dream scene.

I'm reentering fast in that zone where I start to have a visual of my computer - my brother wants to use it but for hygienic reasons I don't like the idea of anyone touching my keyboard. The scene changes fast and I'm aware now of being in bed same position as I am in reality. I am some kind of police officer or detective. There is a stalker who will not leave me alone and I have been trying to catch him for a long time. In bed I find a note that says 'I love you' and this stark fear takes over, I know he's returned. There are further instructions but they take place in my mind - do not inform the police, do not inform anyone, you will be paralysed and know the consequences. I feel that I'm completely helpless and let go, if he comes then he comes, sick of protecting myself. Then the paralysis starts and I could barely move my mind let alone the body. Yet there's a feeling of arms wrapping me and a head burrowed in the neck. These 'I love you' notes are becoming commonplace in dreams and I have a feeling as to where it is really coming from.

Just yesterday I was chatting with my sister regarding her son who was attacked at school by other kids and told her he needs to learn to defend himself even though he has this sweet caring nature not wanting to hurt anyone. Self defense is important at least learn to scream and shout to get help from others. I asked all energies supporting maybe even protecting me to protect my nephew (the one with royal energy pattern) and to be at his side, at his beck and call not really knowing for sure if that is even possible.

So what are these nightmares and do they have any relation to sending protective energies away? Did I just put down all my psychic shields? I don't believe I need it maybe what makes one stronger isn't protection or shields but complete fearlessness in the face of that which scares us. Despite sending these energy systems I don't believe in protection - just that self-defense is important in these earthly circumstances where we do at times have to show the bullies that we are unbulliable.

And then there is this other thing - that which we are so afraid of yet it's inevitable, something we have no physical control over and letting go of the attachment of the fear we tend to hold on to. I feel the stalker dream was highly symbolical for letting go of this fear of powerlessness.

I haven't been able to recall clearly many dreams for some time now, it is dreams like these with this kind of nightmarish intensity that really get my attention and the fact that they occurred closing eyes whilst fully awake has made some difference in recalling.

May 9, 2011

Faith and Commands

I have been just pondering now, faith and how it applies to everything.

So what is faith? Faith is when there's no doubt. We have great faith when moving the body. There is a command to move the arm and instantly according to what speed you require arm moves. I want to raise my arm and there is no doubt that I can move it.

Have you noticed when moving your body the commands are so fast you're not even aware just when you thought to move it or the specifics of that thought (meaning direction and speed of movement). And if you stop for a while to recall the thought which really was the command to move an arm or anything else it would be hard to capture it fully.

Perhaps the only reason why we cannot move mountains is simply because we don't have as much faith in the possibility of that as we do in the movement of our bodies. We have absolute faith in body movement and that same absolute faith is necessary for other external changes.

There are the other commands, the commands which result in spontaneous movement. In my case since exploring with Salvia spontaneous movements have increased to a greater degree. If I let go, the movements occur and the more relaxed I am the more stronger I can feel them. Recently there have been hip movements and turning around almost being directed to go in circles. I wonder whose commands are these, higher self? God?

I know it is possible to do things that would be considered a miracle here - but in that other place that is seen with that other perception there is nothing to it.

I want to try a few experiments on this but cannot until I've grasped exactly the commands that I'm using now. Like right now I'm using all sorts of commands, firstly the brain was programmed a long time ago with touch typing skill, so I'm using that skill. There are the secondary mind audible thoughts (voice in head) thinking each word to be written. Very complex stuff going on just writing this down.

May 6, 2011

Contact with Beloved

Last night prior to falling asleep I was staring at my reflection in the mirror and without so much as planning to do so I was practicing trataka. Parts of face began to mutate, I thought that has to be possible with the little people of the flesh moving about changing what I see with physical eyes.

Viewed a glowing light surrounding the body, began to emanate and stretching out I saw the face of a fairly young man staring right at me through mirror.

I thought I'm seeing one of those others but several times the same face would pop up. It was a very knowing stare, as though whoever the face belonged to was waiting for me to acknowledge its presence and that it is viewable with the human eye.

Went to bed communicating with beloved - more than tangible I wanted to see it clearly. I expressed that I was not afraid and for it to at least show up more clearly in dream time. Got more than I bargained for.

Sleep interruption at 3am with that shaking, vibrating sexual essence all over. Closed eyes by 5am drifting away, suddenly aware of something holding me. A pumping in the rectum, identical to 'Kundalini Illusions' the sexual energy was intensifying to the point where the physical body moved naturally to its rhythmic motion. Eyes open and there was a fog, mist like form and I saw it as clearly as I am seeing now. It was embracing, gentle but the sexual intensity was unbearable. I knew I had to surrender, give in. I have to let it do what is needed, some merging going on and like before it wants to channel the energy inside upwards to make complete connection. Though this time there is no resisting I am trying my best to fully let go, the rattling of the tailbone increasing and at some point lose consciousness and dream about irrelevant stuff.

May 5, 2011

Vivid Simulations and The Best

Awakened at 4am, got up this time and then back in bed and by 5am fell asleep intending to project instead I had some very vivid dreams. Because of those lingering energies I did not sleep well constantly awakened.

Vivid Simulations
I'm viewing a monitor inside which I'm being sucked into. They are taking me to a scene on a parcel of land. The soil is being formed into a hill without anything growing on it yet. On this hill they are telling me about how the plants grow, from the top of the hill the water will flow and travel or drain downwards and water the plants lower down - a kind of pyramid model. I learnt this when looking into permaculture the concept almost identical to a herb spiral and the creation of swales. They tell me that this way not a lot of water nor watering would be required especially for these particular types of land plant.

Then they mention tropical plants - these types need a lot of water. I'm almost sucked out of simulation but immediately re-entering pulled through towards a beautiful tropical island. There I see land surrounded by sea, palm trees and the whole scene just tropical. I start to see how yes tropical fruits and plants would need a lot of water which is why they are surrounded by sea and again these plants don't need a lot of watering since they suck from the sea. Interesting lessons. I think I'm being fed these information since I have recently become an avid gardener.

The Best
I'm at my house and there are so many kids playing - none that I recognize. Several children are trying to get hold of a girl who has become glued to the tv screen playing games on console. They start to moan and cry telling me about the girl called Monu who won't play with them. I ask why they need her to play with them to which they exclaim 'Because, she's the best!' I get the impression that Monu is like their leader. I look at the child in the eyes and tell him/her 'You can be the best, you all can be the best that way you don't need Monu or anyone else.'

Then I'm chatting with my eldest brother and sister about Monu, how she's changing drifting into her own world and my brothers expression reminds me of how I am or was a lot like Monu.

May 4, 2011

The Laughing Moment

In the dream I am aware of being in a large playground/park.

There is a man with a moustache and beard - rugged looking. He is staring at me as if he knows me waiting perhaps for me to approach him. He's cycling now, I see other bikes and I know he wants me to get on one but I walk away. My attention now caught on a swing. I see a little boy approaching reminds me of my nephew when he was 3, so adorable and cherub looking. He wants me to push him on the swing which is for kids slightly older than him.

I raise the swing letting go telling him to hold tight on the chain. As he swings back towards me I notice he's let go of the chain, concerned I stop the swing with the intent to scold him. He is so adorable that the only punishment I could think of is to tickle him. He lets out this incredible laughter and part fitful charming giggles. I join in feeling so incredibly happy in this moment. Wake up feeling as I did in the dream.

May 3, 2011

Wake Dozing

Intentions are working with great precision. Yesterday I voiced my intention to wake up around 4am - previously when sleep was distracted I naturally woke up around these times but then suddenly for quite a long time it stopped and I would sleep throughout night without interruption.

I said out loud 'Want to wake up at 4am'. Fell asleep some time after 10pm. Woke up at 1am - too early and asked to be awakened at 4am. Interestingly in the dream which I can't clearly recall there was a motion of rocking, when awakened my physical body was rocking - concerned that I was acting out dreams but I know they were up to something. Maybe I should've just practiced at 1am.

Awoke again at 4am - glad internal alarm clock was working - I get this feeling that it is body consciousness absorbing information and does as requested. However, within 5 minutes I dozed off. I wasn't all that groggy when I woke up so did not expect to fall asleep.

The next step is staying awake and the ways in which I can do that is by drinking water before going to bed or during wake time get out of bed within 5 minutes. Though I'm sleeping a lot earlier I'm needing more sleep.

May 1, 2011

No AP Methods

I will not be using any techniques or methods for projecting other than just intending and relaxing. Relaxation is really the key to it which is exactly why early mornings the best time projecting - if I'm not too groggy I'm relaxed.

I will not be setting goals to go to specific areas, will let it occur on auto for a while until the goal setting seems necessary.

To be honest I don't know why I want to project, it's not exactly as exciting as it once was. I think what I really want is a complete understanding of reality and perhaps there's something more in APing that I have yet to discover.

Want to be committed to this AP practicing so I'm thinking I could set up 2 or 3 hours a day of practice. Want to try it out once early morning after 4am and some time in the afternoon.

Early morning after 4am
These times are peaceful and so that I wake up early, which isn't difficult as when I set intention dreams wake me up, I really need to sleep early in order to not end up groggy and falling asleep.

Afternoon after 4pm
These times vary - I can't predict when it will be noisy and quiet although in all likelihood it's gonna be noisy. Neighbours renovating their property and they do usually finish around 4 or 5 pm - for me practice at 4pm is best. I think attempting in noisy environment could be helpful - this will strengthen ability to relax and project in any situations.

Activity and Changes

Wanted to project this morning but somehow fell asleep for long and awakened at 9am - usually awake by 7am.

Yesterday evening heightened sexual intensity which has been increasing past few days.
I think last night there was a lot of other activity going on and my breathing is so different now - controlled deliberately by something else.When I breathe deeply it feels like I'm going over the limit.

Last night falling asleep I was startled awake because my legs were yanked down being straightened. I keep forgeting to do the handstands.

And then there's my state of mind - lately I have been feeling very cheerful though I had not noticed it until those around me have pointed out that I sound like I'm high and too happy.