May 11, 2011

Morning nightmares - the criminals

This morning woke up from a nightmare where I am viewing inside a room a woman seated on a chair and a man who I get the sense is her brother. I figure out the plot of the scene and realize the brother is deranged and he has held the sister captive for someone else to attack. She is calm thinking of a way out.

He finally leaves and I get a closer look zooming or moving more in front of her. Her hands are cuffed and she's tied to the chair - did not initially notice this before. She hops her way into the kitchen and grabs the phone but the lines dead. She ends up in another room and someone else not sure if it's her brother or someone else has entered the room. Grabbing her and sticking a gun to her belly he is pretending to shoot making trigger sounds - teasing her to panic. She is panicking only I think the shock has become too much that she looks to be paralysed yet I know she's still alive. Suddenly he pulls the gun to her left temple and shoots, the bullet has gone through her brain and I can see how in an instant her body has become lifeless.

Woke up startled thinking 'Whoa! Why am I dreaming this?' This particular dream did not just feel like a dream, I feel like the consciousness went somewhere where this event was actually taking place here in this world that is possibly a dream itself.

Awake I just close my eyes for a few seconds and immediately I'm in another scene. I'm held captive to my left is a child and to my right another adult. I think the child is a girl, not sure about adult as there's a man in front of me holding a sledge hammer. We're held captive and he's threatening us with this large hammer. I beg him to leave the child alone, he tells me he has no intention to hurt the child - it seems I'm the target and I start to think of ways to defend myself.

I end up somehow in another room - a woman lying down, I know she's violent and I have a memory of her torturing me and in a fit of rage seeking revenge as well as wanting to protect myself of anything further she may want to do I attack by throwing things at her and almost whacking her to death. She's not budging, just laughing in a wicked way almost as if she still has some power over me - anger intensifies and I open eyes again startled by a violent dream scene.

I'm reentering fast in that zone where I start to have a visual of my computer - my brother wants to use it but for hygienic reasons I don't like the idea of anyone touching my keyboard. The scene changes fast and I'm aware now of being in bed same position as I am in reality. I am some kind of police officer or detective. There is a stalker who will not leave me alone and I have been trying to catch him for a long time. In bed I find a note that says 'I love you' and this stark fear takes over, I know he's returned. There are further instructions but they take place in my mind - do not inform the police, do not inform anyone, you will be paralysed and know the consequences. I feel that I'm completely helpless and let go, if he comes then he comes, sick of protecting myself. Then the paralysis starts and I could barely move my mind let alone the body. Yet there's a feeling of arms wrapping me and a head burrowed in the neck. These 'I love you' notes are becoming commonplace in dreams and I have a feeling as to where it is really coming from.

Just yesterday I was chatting with my sister regarding her son who was attacked at school by other kids and told her he needs to learn to defend himself even though he has this sweet caring nature not wanting to hurt anyone. Self defense is important at least learn to scream and shout to get help from others. I asked all energies supporting maybe even protecting me to protect my nephew (the one with royal energy pattern) and to be at his side, at his beck and call not really knowing for sure if that is even possible.

So what are these nightmares and do they have any relation to sending protective energies away? Did I just put down all my psychic shields? I don't believe I need it maybe what makes one stronger isn't protection or shields but complete fearlessness in the face of that which scares us. Despite sending these energy systems I don't believe in protection - just that self-defense is important in these earthly circumstances where we do at times have to show the bullies that we are unbulliable.

And then there is this other thing - that which we are so afraid of yet it's inevitable, something we have no physical control over and letting go of the attachment of the fear we tend to hold on to. I feel the stalker dream was highly symbolical for letting go of this fear of powerlessness.

I haven't been able to recall clearly many dreams for some time now, it is dreams like these with this kind of nightmarish intensity that really get my attention and the fact that they occurred closing eyes whilst fully awake has made some difference in recalling.

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