August 24, 2011

Self-enquiry Lucid Dream

The lucid dream I had this morning was incredible as I had an amazing ability to stay lucid for longer than usual and control certain parts of the dream.

The dream starts off in a house, and there is a part where I almost give in to sexual urges but manage to control myself remembering it is a lucid dream.

I walk downstairs aware of each step. In front of a mirror the reflection is so clear, I imagine to be wearing a coat as I want to go out, I think about it some more, thinking of the colour grey. The coat appears instantly. I fold arms almost wrapping the body getting cosy. Here, I am so amazed that it has not yet ended.

Outside approach a building feeling like I have to be there. In a room there is a woman sitting facing me but giving some kind of lecture with others around. I don't like being there, move away and end up returning outside. Here I am lucid in a dream and need to think fast before it ends - what to do? Decide that I would like to ride a bicycle on the road since I want to do so in physical might as well try to overcome the fear of it in the dream. I can cycle it's just on the road I panic.

A bicycle appears in an antiques market stall - it is made almost entirely of wood. Take my purse out giving money to someone due to perhaps temporary loss of lucidity. I remind myself that its a dream and pull out more notes for the seller. Grab the bicycle with a firm grip and get cycling. I'm cycling - my legs are moving and it appears that there is motion and I can see that I am moving at a distance only I know that really I am not moving - there is no road, no distance and soon enough the bike feels unreal as well as my pedalling efforts. I awaken asking 'who am I?'


Have been reading a lot of material on Ramana Maharishi - though I had read about the method of self-enquiry I never quite understood it - it all seemed so trivial to me. However, I focused on simply observing any thoughts that came but this did not last long. Only recently I have been so drawn to his teachings that when I read thoroughly how to go about self-enquiry I couldn't believe how something that is now so simple was once so trivial. The method could be summed up in one sentence. Follow the 'I' thought back to its source simply by asking 'who am I?' each time a thought arises. According to Maharishi the 'I' thought is the root of all thoughts - past few days from personal observation on thoughts I have found that the 'I' is indeed the root of all thoughts.

Past few days enquiring has been so easy that the question has started to arise naturally with the majority of thoughts that pop up so much that I wake up from sleep questioning 'who am I?'

Another thing that has occured is that dreams have become more vivid yet they are completely irrelevant to the quest for Self. Last night as I fell asleep something appeared pierced in the field of vision - a black hole and I was able to see a familiar face, carried on with self-enquiry focusing on the feeling of 'I'. Entered a normal dream state and from there became steadily lucid and asking the questions in the intervals.

August 16, 2011

Mugwort Refreshing Sleep

Drank mugwort tea last night before bed. Previously this tea made me so groggy in the morning and then when I stopped the grogginess eventually wore off - still there may be other unrelated factors. Needing more sleep.

This morning I woke up feeling refreshed but still wanting to get a bit more sleep - recall having several vivid dreams but was hoping for AP and put intention through last night for this. Did not wake up at all during sleep until this morning so no conscious AP.

August 2, 2011

Spinal Surgery

Drank an infusion of mugwort last night - forgot to chop up leaves - this time used less water, leaves and flower heads. Color was pale and flavour mild compared to previous night.

Went to bed late after midnight and fell asleep immediately. Had a lot of very vivid dreams but recall is not so great except for the last dream I had which blended into physical reality.

In this dream I am sitting on a chair with my back exposed. There are rows of other people sitting on chairs with their back exposed. The female doctor I met recently in PR is in front of me. There's a nurse behind me rubbing something on back of neck - getting prepped for surgery - something to do with the spine.

Suddenly a large bug that has the appearance of a bee but with big glowing red bulby eyes flies around and lands on table that is very near to my face. Nurse has probably been frightened away. The doctor flinches and gives me the impression that she is thinking that someone is spying on her. I remain calm and still.

Suddenly there is a pulsing at the base of the spine and that familiar feeling of pumping up the rectum. I tell the doctor that something is happening down there but she seems confused. The sensation is too strong, so strong I wake up still feeling the sensation. Turning over it calms down. Went back to sleep and woke up at 8am - usually I'm up before this time. So sleepy in the morning - not sure if it is the mugwort or the weather.

August 1, 2011

Mugwort Dream Recall

Had a cup of mugwort tea last night before bed. Dreams were vivid but no lucidity. Violent dream where a relative was trying to attack me and in self defense I'm slashing about going a bit wild.

In another vivid dream I'm at the bus stop. I get on a bus, use card but does not work but driver lets me through. Seated I can feel eyes on me so I turn around look at the other passengers, all silent. They look like foreigners and I'm starting to wonder if I accidently got on a tourist bus. Strangely it is dark inside and there are lights on - all the windows are sealed with metal sheets blocking external view. I get a little confused but no lucidity. There were more dreams but recall hazy or maybe too much dreaming.

I think I need to brew the tea by chopping leaves to help with infusion but despite soaking leaves and flower heads whole the tea is a vibrant green. The taste is incredibly soothing and pleasant. Physically I have been feeling a little groggy just feel like sleeping on the spot - I don't know if this is the tea or other factors. There have also been some muscle aches and this morning a pressure pain in left jaw.

I have enough mugwort for 5 days so will be drinking this next 5 days and then I plan to change tea over to nettles another highly nutritious tea from a plant that grows in the wild.