February 27, 2013

Brain Charges Possible Take Over

Woke at around 2:30am - did some revision which made me sleepy.

In the relaxation suddenly head /brain feels being chomped on, eyes closed throughout. Struggle to open eyes - presence of others. Weird paranoid feeling parasites chomping on brain bits.

Electrical brain charge intense in left brain side

have been stressed past few days

eventually opened eyes

hand near certain body part - weird

breathing cessation

body rocking - woke up feeling somewhat normal

February 17, 2013

Hemi Sync Weekly Update

11/02/2013 - Advanced F10
Listened to the audio, feeling too lazy to go through prep steps on my own. REBAL feels light yet solid there is that similar bouncy feeling that I have had near legs since Salvia which is also strongly present in head most of the times if I remain still and quiet. Relaxed deeply and eventually zoned out it was almost like a click out but partial.

13/02/2013 - F10 without audio
By the time I got to the REBAL I just could not relax, mostly mentally which also applied some tension near my head region. My intention for todays session was a direct connection with the older wiser part of my self. I think if I am to do this without guidance I need to start small perhaps focus on relaxing the body and mind. I have thought about using hemi-sync 'Opening the Heart' but have this strong feeling doing so will open up Pandora's box rather than the heart so I am leaving it for now.

February 10, 2013

Hemi Sync Weekly Update

06/02/2013  -
So far this week have not had any sessions, perhaps tonight. After a few more sessions I might try the Salvia, it crossed my mind today but the setting is not right at this time, need to let certain stuff cool off. Need to let go of certain negative situations, people etc. Right now my focus is on my studies but I need to observe some of the situations I get meddled in, they are private and mostly family related. Since December when I started my studies it helped me to focus for a while away from all the crap but now feeling like having ignored all that the issues have arisen with greater force. I see now though with clarity that it is not so much the negative people and issues around me but my own focus on them - by focusing on these issues I contribute to it in some way. This obviously doesn't mean that I should simply ignore the issues and it will go away but rather try to understand it and be done with it for good, as the issues are not external but more from within deeper underlying issues. I do wonder if I can observe it the way Krishnamurti would suggest - 'Look, observe without words, or naming, without a goal without any hope for anything whatsover, silently watching'.

-  Advanced Focus 10
Started session around 10pm. Relaxed throughout fortunately not thinking too much. Somewhere after REBAL felt the outer layer of this as a magnetic force. Then involuntary movement of the head shifting left and right which occurred 3 times, each time suddenly and with more force than usual in between these moves there were sudden jolts where the body felt to be closing in - the feeling was much like how perhaps a flower would close or fold in its petals. Beyond all this there is no recall, just slept through.

09/02/2013 - Advanced F10
Sometime in the evening. There were bodily sensations tingles and the goosebumps in particular were stronger than usual. Then going deeper yet physical body not still in the sleep mode there was an image of a mans face and then a white light flashed with a faint image of a light bulb. Then a red light flashed but it wasn't sudden instead there was a smooth building up of the intensity and brightness. I opened eyes just to see if there was any external source. The lights reminded of my bike since I recently got a white and red light for it. Carried on with the audio but fell asleep. I intend to start practicing without audio.

February 3, 2013

Hemi Sync Weekly Update

31/1/2013 - Have not listened to any Hemi-sync past few days due to stressful situation and certain change going on in my life right now. This tends to happen getting deep into hemi-sync and has happened in the past. Externally there is some kind of storm brewing, I can feel it but try my best not to let it get to me - now I know why I had put off this program for a long time, simply not willing for those changes, too messy. Intend to try a session tonight.

- Intro to F10
Fell asleep throughout, woke up in a sweat. Exhausted this week.

This week haven't bothered with the program, with a busy schedule and lots on my mind it has been difficult. I think there is also something else going on physically. For almost 3 or 4 consecutive nights I have been waking up in a pool of sweat. Either body is fighting an infection or simply excreting toxins through the sweat with no cold or flu nor any evidence of a fever.  Not sure if I'll be listening to the program in the coming week, thinking I should focus on getting more sleep and letting the body recover. One thing I should note here and it's not really hemi-sync related is an incident that took place this morning. Half awake and half asleep from some time after 3am became aware of the body rocking back and forth, could be due to the recent visit of sexual energies (usually present during m cycle) only awareness of this motion did not present any sexual sensations or arousal instead I found it comforting sort of like if someone were to sing a lullaby to put me to sleep.