June 20, 2010

The Moth Message

In the kitchen I noticed a large moth making its way in through the window. It was really chunky which wasn't too scary. Flying and resting on the wall the moth began to vibrate, which seemed really creepy to me as I don't think ever seen a moth do that. It flew up towards the ceiling and I didn't think much of it after that thinking it wants to get to the light bulb.

I moved to the sink and as I did it landed on my head which made me flinch (and scream). I had a shawl around me and I think as I flicked it the moth landed on the floor, fortunately unharmed.

Here's what I got regarding moth totem:

"The Moth is a totem of ideas, intuition and sensitivity. The wings, bodies, and legs of the moth are covered with numerous touch hairs and is highly sensitive to vibrations. They can feel, smell, taste and determine temperatures with their feathery antennae and have the ability to perceive everything with clarity. Moth people usually have strong psychic and healing abilities.
They must be careful not to pick up other peoples problems and carry them around in their own energy field. If this happens confusion and irritability can set in. The process of metamorphosis is part of the magic the moth holds. The egg stage symbolizes the birth of an idea. The larvae stage indicates the laying of a foundation. The chrysalis stage represents the process of creating, and the winged stage allows it to take flight and explore new territory. When the moth appears in our life it is a message about sensitivity or insensitivity to those around you."

The highlited text describes exactly what I'm going through at the moment. I later apologized to the moth for my fearful reaction and gave my thanks. I am quite astounded that often when the animal or insect totems show up the message coincides with what is going in my life. Now when I do have any insects or animals show up in a special kind of way, meaning it's not just any random bird that flies across the sky - there has to be some kind of interaction and feelings involved. When I do a simple google search often the very first page I view is the one describing exactly what message I am being given.

I wonder though what do I do with the message. I have this tendency that even though I get the message and intuitively know what I'm meant to do, I just leave it. I completely forget about it. For eg. In this case I know I need to let go of other peoples problems - let them grow and sort out their own mess and no longer carry that burden but it something so difficult to just walk away from and it's even worse to stick around and watch them tackle their problems. I'm like the mother who is not giving an opportunity for her children to grow and get independent (in my case it's my siblings and I'm not even the big sis to some of the siblings that need my assistance).

I think my real problem is that I've always been the problem solver, and I've been doing it mostly for my family members that it had become automatic and now I'm just fed up. My eldest sister once about 3 years ago, had a very vivid dream and had to tell me about it because it was so incredibly real. She told me that in this dream there was a panel of people asking her about all us siblings. One by one my sister would describe each sibling until finally I was the last one. Of course she had good things to say about me and according to her it took a longer time. She said how I was always there helping with everyones problems, always available making time for others, kind and helpful. From my sisters tone of voice I could tell that when it came to me in the dream there was some major emotional charge that it even effected me somehow.

That is actually the first time I realized that I was taking on too many of others problems and it was the first time I really thought about it otherwise I would never have given it a single thought. But I left it as it was did nothing about it. I think now most of my frustration comes from the fact that I have an inability to let others who are in the middle of certain problems to learn to deal with it themselves. I need to stand my ground somehow and get my head around this one. I know that this is also what holds me back from focusing attention and giving my energy to my dreams and aspirations in life. I need to take some initiative in this for the sake of my mental clarity.

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