June 6, 2010

Surrendering and Fasting for Kundalini Progress

I have read here that during a certain phase of the Kundalini process there is a need to fast or eat little. I've been doing the complete opposite of eating a little, in fact I've been eating a lot plus lost certain amount of weight which continues to worry me. I think my increase in food intake is due to my concern over the fact that I never get hungry, maybe just once a day and I get full after a small snack. The weight loss could be due to eating low fat and good fat food.

I am obssessing over food in the hope that I get hungry again, one thing I've learnt so clearly though is that my previous hunger for food was to fill up some emotional gap. Now I'm better able to discern what is good for my body and what is bad and taking the initiative to incorporate the good - I guess the only thing that bothers me is the absence of my hunger signals - perhaps it is time to listen to my body more clearly in different ways.

Is this due to the Kundalini - I can't really say though this change in lack of desire for food came since the K progressed. I will be fasting soon but for now I'm going to eat small meals (snacks), watch my energy level. I will be consuming blackstrap molasses and taking a supplement.

I am not really concerned about energy levels, since it has been pretty high. Haven't needed much sleep and when I wake up most of the mornings it's like I never really went to sleep.
Another thing I've realized is that I haven't been surrendering to this K energy. I've been so wrapped up in other developments that I have forgotten I ever had a K awakening. Though I'm still getting signs that it's still there it appears to have slowed, calmed down except for when I relax or sometimes just before sleep. For the most part I haven't been able to relax let alone meditate, I can feel the tension even right stored in upper regions of my body particularly chest (deep breathing is not helping), there is some tremendous tension built up in my head and thoughts are rampant at this stage. I do wonder how is one to surrender when they can't even relax. Perhaps this entire build up of tension is building up because this K energy is trying to break through some blockages.

A few days ago in the afternoon I suddenly felt really sleepy and decided to take a nap. In order to shut my mind I kept repeating how tired and sleepy I was feeling and that I just want to let go of everything. This tired feeling was not physical but a mental exhaustion. My mind cleared, I thought 'yay, I'm gonna sleep now'. In the short few minutes that followed my arms jerked up followed with my entire body and awakening me - about 5 or 10 mins later opened my eyes and just could not believe how suddenly awake I was feeling. One minute your so drowsy, sleepy and the next you are more awake then you've ever been. This could also explain why I'm not needing as much sleep as before which was 7-8 hours now I think I could survive on 4 or 5 hours of sleep. I like the idea of not needing much sleep.

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