July 20, 2010

Singing Truth Despair

This dream started off very bizzare. First I go inside a kitchen, there is a young man with a hammer who is contemplating whether to smash the edge of the worktop. I am thinking he shouldn't do it as he'll get in trouble. Another man walks in takes hammer and smashes the worktop - I get the feeling he's a police and just framed the other lad and his intention is to wrongly arrest him. The young man walks out and house is locked down, I walk out to garden and a huge barrier falls down making it impossible to escape.

I squat down and start embracing the man who is left behind and things get sexual from here. This man eventually just disappears right in front of me and I realize I might have just thought him up. I look up to see SP - the attractive version. He looks younger. He is staring at me in sympathy. His stare tells me that he will join me and let me experiment on him as opposed to my imagination. Just as he gets down he is summoned by another woman, who grabs him as he looks at me apologetically. My mouth opens wide and I'm really upset. There is a circle of partners doing some country like dance. I'm thinking where's my partner, how about me? Suddenly I realize I'm a black woman and in the circle there is a black man who I feel is supposed to be my partner. He looks at me knowingly and his partner is coming to tell me that they're just friends and that I should go join him.

I simply look away, still upset and very hurt also maybe jealous about something. I start crying in pain and storm out through a door. I am outside and across the road in a cafe I spot Simon Cowell - we know each other and I'm hoping he'll show some sympathy and try to console me. Instead he looks away pretending he didn't see me and even embarrassed by my appearance. I walk away even more hurt and lonely. As I walk on the vast pavement and this area just filled with so many artificial buildings I say to myself that I'm gonna get on any random bus and let it take me wherever it pleases. I walk and to my right view a glass building, ponder it for a while recognizing it as a hospital.

As I walk I look up at the big sky that is filled with too many sky scrapers, a sight that looks ghastly and break out in a song not a care in the world that people are gonna stare at me like I've lost my marbles.

I sing:

Look at the sky filled up with silly things
How can we change the world, how can we lead
How can the blind lead the blind
How can the blind see the Truth

The amazing thing about my singing was that I was not even thinking the words before they came out, they just poured out of me without a single thought. The melody was 'Walking in the air' from 'The Snowman'. I recall upon waking up that my mouth was opening while singing, like I must've mouthed the words in the physical while singing in the dream.

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