Pranayama

Yesterday I practiced the alternate nostril breathing method doing 3 rounds twice.

I have found that my left nostril is dominant, and right nostril slow and stuffy.

I felt some amazing difference in the quality of my breathing after this first practice, will be continuing this.

Nightly Brain Squeeshes

I'm getting a lot of brain sensation when asleep. I would suddenly wake up from it but it's a mission remaining awake to witness what is taking place.

I am aware mostly of squeeshing sensation, I say squeeshy coz it sounds squeeshy as well as the feeling of it.

Change of Blog

Shifted to another blog where I changed title and added some extra categories. Initially decided to make that other blog private to see just how deeper I am willing to go in writing more personally.

In the spirit of sharing I have now decided to share all further writings I have written since my absence from this blog.

New Blog

Truth Hauntings In Sleep

Dreams were reflections of the experience I had. Could not really sleep felt haunted, kept opening eyes from insane dream visuals. Pains near ovary were intense and head was aching. Something in my head squeeshed as I raised my head from pillow. Felt changes going on inside in head and knew when I woke up in morning I will not be feeling so good.

The last dream was the most peculiar, it was too vivid. I'm at a reception agitated that the receptionist did not call me - waiting long time. They said they're bringing my file out and if I could please wait.

I sat down and with sarcasm said 'Of course I can wait. Haven't you heard? I have all the time in the world. I'll just sit and wait here. Please don't hurry on my account!' Boy, was I burning with rage inside.

The file is in front of me. Something wrong with my spine and because of this I am experiencing Spatial Hallucination? - they're gonna correct my spine. Some problem associated with my neck and head which they have written on file they will correct. I'm confused. I read an article about a woman whose twin sis died - she had these procedures and became extremely depressed.

I wasn't sure I wanted any of the procedures mentioned. Actually I was certain I didn't want it at all. The person who wrote the file seemed manipulative and was conspiring for their personal agenda.

Woke up, menstruating which explained the severe force I felt in ovaries.

Worm of Destruction and Power Plant

Dreamt that I was in the garden towards the left section I look at the soil, piled up with twigs and leaves. A worm emerges, at first I thought it was a centipede but upon clearer observation I see it has spikes. Very dangerous scary looking creature. In the physical I would've ran miles away from it, instead I am curious as to what this creature is. Touch it slightly with a stick, it inflates -like something out of a horror movie. A knowing comes to me translated this knowing is that this worm like creature can devour everything. Relieved I didn't touch with my hands. I pose a unspoken question, "How can this be useful?" The answer is it is a solution to dispose of the crappy artificial things we have created as opposed to landfills.

Next scene I walk to other side where a vine like plant is growing, I am explaining to someone that this plant should never be grown for a second time because it will take over all other plants and spread like a virus.

Baby Falls

Another baby dream, which I've noticed at particular times have become a reoccuring theme in dreamland.

I'm at cousins house or it looks like this house. I'm seated at one bed and on another bed at the other side of room there is a baby sleeping.

This baby suddenly awakens, seeing me the baby flips over and hits the floor. I run up and carry the baby knowing this little babe is pretty strong, I look at the car seat and relieved that at least baby didn't land on that otherwise there could've been some serious injuries.

I look at this absolutely adorable baby and say 'Why do you keep doing that when you see me?' I have a cooking apple biting into this and give a sweet apple to the baby telling the baby it is sweet. With the baby in my arms I walk down the stairs, my cousin has arrived. She is stretching her arms out reaching out for the baby at which point I'm confused and wonder if the baby is hers or mine.

In reality the baby in the dream did not look like my cousins baby. Also in reference to the apples my neighbours have a huge cooking apple tree and another tree with apples very sweet.

Sexual Dreams

For the past few days I have been having at least one sexual dream per day. Today woke up from a dream about a young woman with dark hair and another woman who is her friend. The dark haired woman is combing her hair and both woman very happy about their love lifehaving found their life partner.

There is an impression of what the partner looks like - attractive and suitable. They make a good match I think as I am dreaming this. At one point the woman is in a beachy area combing her hair with a wooden comb, she is thinking how combing her hair makes her feel good. I have recently replaced my plastic combs in physical reality with wooden combs recently making a transition in using only natural materials and believe the dream was drawing reference to this.

Another scene pops up, here it seems several years have passed by. A lot has changed, the woman lives with her mother and she no longer has a partner. Something happened, it seems they split up but I could tell that she carries the memory of her partner.

A very attractive young chineses or korean man knocks on her door. The woman seems to be talking in some way, a narrative voice is telling me about how the man at first appeared calm, charismatic and charming. The second time he arrives he appears to be a 'bonehead' and seemed too demanding. Another scene the man is seated, he is just visiting but after something more this time. The woman looks apprehensive, she feels that this man is completely uninterested in her sexually - a case of low self esteem. As she walks away the thoughts of the young man becomes so loud, he is thinking 'Oh, all the dirty things I want to do to you' - not exactly romantic. I get the impression that he's just a horny demon.

Another scene woman is sleeping on her bed, a sort visual of entities are hovering above her. She sees this and is alarmed. Suddenly the entity transforms into the man she had recently met, who is attempting to embrace her. She pushes or gently moves him aside showing that she lacks in interest. She is lying down in a curled half foetus position, he is also lying down on the other side of the bed but it is like she thinks he is not there.

Singing Truth Despair

This dream started off very bizzare. First I go inside a kitchen, there is a young man with a hammer who is contemplating whether to smash the edge of the worktop. I am thinking he shouldn't do it as he'll get in trouble. Another man walks in takes hammer and smashes the worktop - I get the feeling he's a police and just framed the other lad and his intention is to wrongly arrest him. The young man walks out and house is locked down, I walk out to garden and a huge barrier falls down making it impossible to escape.

I squat down and start embracing the man who is left behind and things get sexual from here. This man eventually just disappears right in front of me and I realize I might have just thought him up. I look up to see SP - the attractive version. He looks younger. He is staring at me in sympathy. His stare tells me that he will join me and let me experiment on him as opposed to my imagination. Just as he gets down he is summoned by another woman, who grabs him as he looks at me apologetically. My mouth opens wide and I'm really upset. There is a circle of partners doing some country like dance. I'm thinking where's my partner, how about me? Suddenly I realize I'm a black woman and in the circle there is a black man who I feel is supposed to be my partner. He looks at me knowingly and his partner is coming to tell me that they're just friends and that I should go join him.

I simply look away, still upset and very hurt also maybe jealous about something. I start crying in pain and storm out through a door. I am outside and across the road in a cafe I spot Simon Cowell - we know each other and I'm hoping he'll show some sympathy and try to console me. Instead he looks away pretending he didn't see me and even embarrassed by my appearance. I walk away even more hurt and lonely. As I walk on the vast pavement and this area just filled with so many artificial buildings I say to myself that I'm gonna get on any random bus and let it take me wherever it pleases. I walk and to my right view a glass building, ponder it for a while recognizing it as a hospital.

As I walk I look up at the big sky that is filled with too many sky scrapers, a sight that looks ghastly and break out in a song not a care in the world that people are gonna stare at me like I've lost my marbles.

I sing:

Look at the sky filled up with silly things
How can we change the world, how can we lead
How can the blind lead the blind
How can the blind see the Truth

The amazing thing about my singing was that I was not even thinking the words before they came out, they just poured out of me without a single thought. The melody was 'Walking in the air' from 'The Snowman'. I recall upon waking up that my mouth was opening while singing, like I must've mouthed the words in the physical while singing in the dream.

Predicting Synchronicities

Yesterday while watching (not really paying much attention) Two and a Half Men, I just knew there was going to be some reference to something related to drugs. I knew it was going to be something that I thought of in the last two days. It was a strong yet very random feeling.

In one episode Alan is converting certain materials into miniature cars, Charlie enters scene and makes a remark about his bong. I've been thinking about purchasing a bong.

The second episode there was some reference to drugs.

I wonder am I predicting these synchros or creating them?

Something to think about.

Herbs for Divination

As I've mentioned in previous post I'm thinking about taking mind altering herbs. Something that will help in assisting state of consciousness, even more so I just really feel guided to explore this area since it is something I've never thought about delving into simply because of legislation factors which are just completely absurd. I've never really had the desire nor the impulse to ever try this stuff because of the stigma associated with it - I think perhaps there was also some fear.

The herbs that I can explore with at the moment are salvia divinorum and a mexican dream herb to assist in divinations - another area which I'm exploring and becoming more accustomed to.

Psychedelic Fireworks, Elevators and Escalators

I had several dreams this morning.

Psychedelic Fireworks
In the dream there is an ignited fireworks device in my cousins hand. The sparks and sounds get stronger suggesting launch at any second. I'm freaking out. There's an open window and I can't recall if it was me or him who was aiming the firework out through the window. Fortunately it went out higher up towards the sky, although the sparks fell down on people it caused no harm in fact it looked magical and the people around just stared in amazement.
I know I had this dream because lately I have been considering smoking weed and exploring psychedelics and the cousin in reality is a hardcore drug addict, I guess the cousin is like an output manifestation of my current thoughts, I'm still not sure what it means.

I've been boggling my mind trying to understand why certain psychedelics have been made illegal when alcohol and tobacco are even more harmful. In fact a lot of my research into this shows that these psychedelics can be beneficial - especially for spirituality.

I've done a little research on Salvia Divinorum - it's legal so right now this seems to be my best choice. My reason for exploring this area is spiritual.

Elevators and Escalators
In this dream I am with my nan taking her to the hospital. We go inside an elevator, the doors almost closing and nan has lagged behind. I put my arms out quick to stop the door from closing, get in and my nan follows. Suddenly I realized we got on the wrong elevator and I have forgotten what floor we needed to get to. I walk around and it seems like I am just exploring this hospital. Suddenly I've lost nan and try to remember where I left her. I try to go in through one of the doors I recall going through before. Once nearing the door I get this message that you go in there if you don't want to survive and are willing to get hurt. I get away from there as fast as possible. There is another glass door and I can see through it are really long escalators, one going up the other down. I get on it and going up it is like I am zooming, incredibly fast you'd think it was a rollercoaster. At some stage when I blink I see my red pillow with sunflowers and other floral designs and I cannot move. I am at SP but I don't think that I am at the time - I simply think that I'm still in the dream and somehow strangely my pillow is in front of my face.