Giving In To Energy Work

The physical body at this stage is going through energetic changes, rewiring etc. It's funny because as I write this my head is nodding continuously a dramatic 'Yes' as if to say 'Yes, you're spot on!'

I had put these movements off and it's time to seriously give it more time, in fact need to make this a priority. So I'm starting off everyday to give it as much time as possible. I really ought to since health is my priority and this energy is here to heal.

Here are some of my experiences so far with the great Healer within.

Usually and mostly there has been head rotations and many other head works. On the first day of intentionally giving the power more time my head rotated swayed and did all sorts of things, deep muscle movements in legs. Then the hips unwinded and has since been in a process of loosening. Gential movements were present and this did cause sexual arousal, in fact due to this there has been an influx of sexual energy.

I have done the energy work sitting, standing and lying down. There was an incident when standing it was like I was being flung forward, the room is tiny so in order to avoid falling on furniture I shifted to an angle where I can test to see if the energy wanted body to go down. It did, and I found myself prostrating. Also prostated sitting down for quite some time.

There have been two incidents so far where they wanted me to lay down and focus on the head rotation - yesterday I did this and blanked out for about 5 minutes. When I did open eyes it felt like I woke up from the deepest sleep - in the sleep there was awareness of body sleeping - hearing my breathing etc almost like a precusor to an obe/astral projection. Waking up from this state head feels heavy, there is also groggy feeling present.

In the mornings my head feels messed up sometimes, too heavy and full and when I open mouth jaws crackle so I know there's something going on there.

I try not to over analyze, just go with the flow.

Ear Infection and Third Eye Chakra Connection

About 3 weeks ago I developed an ear infection - the first time as an adult. It was horrible but I understand it could have been worse from others experience. I did initially think it could be due to my sudden intake of really bad dairy - non-organic and all that crap. It was during the easter holidays and holidays are a crisis period for me so I was going through some emotional disturbances. This is a part of my life that I need to address and resolve.

Anyways it mostly effected the right ear, first started with sharp stabbing pain and next day I woke up with crusty ear and liquid oozing out. After that my ear was pretty much blocked and I was partially deaf for maybe a week. Treated this with H202. I think this 'infection' cleaned something out causing further changes around third eye chakra which might even be linked to my recent 'spinning wheel' incident.

The Spinning Wheel

This morning I had an amazing experience but I can hardly recall it. As usual it all happened so fast and rather suddenly. I woke up early and had to quickly clean a leak on the bed which was annoying but I woke up mostly because of that. Back to bed I felt appreciative of others, sent out thoughts of blessings and wishing happiness for all.

I relaxed and almost immediately zoned out with full awareness I noticed something spinning at the center of my view with closed eyes. It was spinning fast and zooming in gradually in consort with the speed. The image was getting clearer and looked like a colored drawing, my initial thought was it looks like some kind of religious maybe Hindu symbol. With the spinning I emerged into a scene with others around but quickly came back where again I noticed a spinning wheel. Only this time it was more pattern like, I think it was only one color can't recall but this time I thought of the wheel of dharma and - this just might be it. As it got clearer and I zoomed in full force into another very realistic scene, in fact it was more like another dimension. My recollection of the scenes were that some were probabilities of this life - same characters different scenes. And there were other scenes playing out with others. Once I returned checked the time - 15 minutes had passed.

I understood something vital to all understanding. Nothing changed but the outer, my consciousness and level of awareness remained the same throughout but what changed was the scene before me. The screen is always blank and empty and with the spinning of wheel the images appeared - in fact this world that we live in is but an entrance through this wheel.

I am unsure what exactly this wheel is - most likely related to third eye chakra. As for the wheel of dharma my understanding is that it is a branch of teaching but I think its origins come from the ability to perceive it literally with closed eyes.

Found a site describing meaning of wheel of dharma.

Meditation Jolts

The day I 'meditated on motions' I attempted an evening meditation before bed. Letting go almost instantly there was a jolt that took me by surprise - this occurred often in the early Kundalini days. My hands were rested on my chest and it felt like energy was zapping out into the body. It was very quick. Those same early feelings were present and I was a little uncertain about having fully invited Divine Feminine part of myself to run the show.

Meditating on Motions

It seems that over time meditation has become increasingly difficult. I am unable to relax physically and mentally. Today on impulse I attempted a session. This time I closed the blinds to darken the room - maybe in some failed attempts the lighting may have caused some issues, but then I would like to be able to meditate in most conditions.

I could not relax my mind and meditation cannot be forced. Let go of any controlling, allowing thoughts to play out. Focused on my breathing which was not really helping. Remained still, head was rotating as usual - I let this play out completely concentrating on the motions. Felt like something moving inside the brain, a pressure. I eventually lost consciousness and opened eyes from some major heaviness in the head. Looked at the clock 15 minutes had passed although it felt much longer. There were the familiar leg tinglings, spine rattling which felt like little creatures having a really good time. This was followed by heightened sexual feelings, I wonder whether this has to do with trying to awaken or giving permission for divine feminine to make its presence known.

I intend to at least try to meditate every day for however long I can sustain with no end goal in mind or I just may have to give in to the motions as it is something I have been neglecting. The motions are not always the same - sometimes it takes place with the whole body but most of the time it is pronounced in the head. Like right now as I write this it is side to side, sometimes it has a pleasant swaying motion but usually it's rotating. This morning there was crackling sounds with jaw movements suggesting that last night something had taken place.

Grieving

Had an intense vivid dream this morning. In the dream I am taking a driving lesson. I make a left turn a bit too early and almost collide with an oncoming car, however strangely the instructor is calm as am I. I know something isn't quite right. The lesson ends early near my house. I see a few of my relatives, my mum approaches the instructor almost as if they've all sensed what I'm sensing. My mum asks the instructor if everything is okay. He apologises to my mum and other family members (very weird) about stopping the lesson and just keeps handing her coin after coin and I wonder if that is my lesson money he is returning.

When we are alone still sensing something I place my hands on his shoulders and ask him if everything is okay. Finally he breaks down, holding his abdomen he tells me about an unusual feeling he cannot describe. He makes hand motions and I start to recall the feeling, I can read in his expressions what he's trying to tell me. I say "I know what you are feeling. It's like you have lost something, as though something very precious has died and it's forever gone. You are trying to cling to it and this is making you grieve. Let it go, let it die do not cling to it." I think I cried with him.

I woke up at 2:20am a bit disoriented feeling as though the dream was real and the waking was the dream. I have felt this kind of unexplainable grieving, completely unrelated to external events. I have also read that it is common in those going through the Kundalini process. However at this time I'm not sure how this information relates to me at this time - why would 'they' (energies) play this dream out. Last night I was reading a few of El Collie's chapters on Kundalini, one chapter was related to emotions so that might have triggered it.

I feel they may be trying to prep me for something that I may not be ready for and when I think about it I'm not ready for the death of someone around me. Last night my computer monitor which was switched off after some time started making those clicking/cracking sounds. This morning the water pipes made a loud vibrational sound that woke everybody, then in the loft the tanks or something solid was banging about for a few seconds. Not a lot of people realize this but the sounds and every little subtle detail around us can tell you about things that are likely to happen. Another thing is the weather which I was looking up online, there were several dash symbols for Saturday either a website glitch or temperature and other details were unknown for those time of the day.

Now all this can mean something or I am being absolutely paranoid and honestly I would rather be paranoid.