November 1, 2012

Dreams and Morning Company

In the dream I'm in a forest but think it to be my garden. I see a brown squirrel - in reality I was reading an article yesterday about how the brown squirrel is rare in Britain and the greys are disliked by most gardeners. The squirrel is so adorable, I got closer unlike in reality this squirrel isn't running away. I stroke it gently but manages to squirm away.

Moving along there's a pear tree and my eldest sister is suddenly present. I tell her we should harvest the pears - in reality there's a wild pear tree I walk by often and just yesterday checked that the seasonable food this month are pears. In the dream the pears are unusually large, I grab one realizing it's rotting. Suddenly notice a spider crawling and it gets on my hand. I throw the pear trying to shake of the spider which is a tan colour. It keeps pulling itself up on me through its web. I am lying down on the ground trying to shake it off but it seems persistent.

Have looked into totem symbology and honestly I am not sure if the messages have any significance anymore. It seems any totem can apply to me at any time and correlate with life circumstance.

I woke up from the spider dream relieved at about 4am. When I opened eyes visual of dark shadows around eyes and internal shaking. Empty bladder and an hour later try to fall asleep.

I am suddenly aware of the physical body and feel a thumping in root area which feels like sexual intercourse. I seem to have enough control to not let the sensations overtake me or release the energy. I find myself suddenly conjuring up a song, making up the words in Hindi and perhaps English as well. I was in awe with the song and the melody, creating it in that moment. Dozed off and when I opened eyes felt groggy like I could sleep forever yet there was some sexual arousal still present.

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