October 3, 2012

Open for Communication

Monday afternoon I sat down in front of the mirror allowing the swaying of the head and other involuntary movements. A thought occured 'Why don't I try to question this movement?'

As I thought this body was silencing. I asked whatever presence was there whether it was open to communication, there was a nod in the affirmative. It was very slow almost as if 'it' was trying to be as gentle as possible. I continued asking yes and no questions. The following questions were not asked in the order that they are written and not all questions are included.

Are you good? Yes
Are you evil? No
Are you within the body? Head spins
Do you have control over the body? Yes
Do you have complete control over the body? No
Have you always been here? No
Are you a discarnate spirit? Yes
Do you have good intentions? Yes
Are you beloved? Yes
Are you male?Yes
Are you female? No
In what country did you have your physical existence? (skimming around continents until nodded in affirmative for somewhere in South Asia.
Are the physical movements part of a healing process? Yes
Are you telling me what I want to hear? No
Can I write about you on my blog? No - this question was asked several times until finally I got a yes.

Sensing some confusions over some answers I asked if there were more than one  - the answer was yes.

Briefly when I sat quiet with no questions, my head was leaning forward ever so slowly and carefully watching over the chair looking down at the carpet. It felt like whatever this was was getting comfortable.

Can you see through the physical eyes? Yes
Can I trust you? Yes
Can you manipulate my dreams and come through them? Yes

Sitting there asking so many questions I felt this being knew too much about me and also I gathered that it liked all that I liked and disliked all that I disliked, what if I was simply talking to myself, or some unconscious part that had awakened.

Are you me? Head spins - and for other questions the head would rotate a new response - not yet certain. It could mean 'I don't know', 'I can't say' or still simply gathering answer.
Are you aware of Him ( referring to that most powerful dangerous presence in whose embrace in one incident I almost completely dissolved physical reality and was so close to something far beyond unknown ) ? Yes
Do you know Him? I can't recall the answer
Did He send you? No
Is He here? No - this answer confused me as I expected a yes
Each time that I thought of The Presence and even now as I relay this , eyes swell up with tears and a massive knot forms in the throat.

Left cheek muscles would tingle and there were some pressure there and sense of being touched was there. I asked if it wanted to play and got a yes.

I stopped session and went downstairs for a bit where my brothers annoying cat would go on meowing as she always does. In the bathroom I asked whether 'it' liked the cat, got a 'no' to which I replied 'Good, coz neither do I, but of course you already knew that.'

Do you know the nature of reality? Yes
Can you share it with me?  Head Spin
My questions seem unimportant, completely irrelevant.

At times my head would go back bending my neck, an indication to lie down. Tried meditating but I simply end up getting lost in an array of thoughts or if I'm lucky brief few minutes nap which are more like blanking out for brief moments.

Night times have been pretty difficult for me lately and I gather what is occuring at this stage is parasite die off - extreme amounts of pinworm exit I mean it is like something out of a horror movie. I am almost completely certain this is a die off and other things are coming out  (sorry for being too graphic), as in the past I have had pinworm symptoms ( itchiness, chronic fatigue, mood swings etc) just had no idea that I had pinworms. Sometimes the moodiness had heightened lately but in general I do not get tired however most times I just don't feel like doing anything - doing nothing feels peaceful for the body at times. Also I get drawn to specific types of food, recently I was drawn to papaya started reading about the fruit and found that it is cleansing so started taking fruit and seeds for 5 days and on first day I saw some red tomato skin looking things come out but have not eaten tomatoes in ages - I read that it could be liver flukes.

As for personality, it would seem I am a host to all kinds of parasites as well as all kinds of qualities but lately I have been changing in ways that as I observe how I am and compare to how I was one would think my power chakra was overactive. Already I have been called bossy since this change and I have even noticed I can be controlling. I've dialled it down a bit, not getting too involved with others since that is when problems arise. It feels that those around me were attached to me through metaphoric chains and everytime they tug, it causes me harm - seeing this I snapped each chain off. I only seem to have one mantra now 'Me, me, me, me' or 'I, I, I' depending on whatever I'm in the mood for. I never take shit from others as I once did, and previously I would be concerned with others wellbeing guiding them, trying to help especially those around me and now...

I have been thinking that there is one word that can describe every quality that makes up what one might call my personality or my character: carefree.

No comments: