July 19, 2012

Ramadan Fasting and Bodily Movements

Ramadan starts tomorrow, and though I don't practice Islam I sometimes do follow the fasting period. In the past I have noticed how beneficial the Ramadan fasting can be to my overall health so this year my intention is to keep every single fast. It is tough since you are not allowed even a drop of your own saliva from dawn to sunset.

Lately, I have been doing some 'emotional' eating where I've been snacking on lots of crap to fill up some kind of miserable emptiness eating away at me. So now I just want to clean up the mess I've just made and it's about time because I am starting to feel the repercussions from my latest bad eating habits.

Rather than suppress these crazy emotions I need to start facing them, observe and try to understand where they are coming from and why.

Ramadan feels like a relief, just the one meal a day which will be sprouts salad, and then early morning UT drink, wheatgrass juice and sole drink not always 3 types. I also intend to drink nut milks which are quite yummy. When I do the emotional eating I know I'm very much aware that there is emotional imbalance but not sure how to deal with it and I give in to the flavours. I've cut down on the chocolate dramatically but ended up replacing with even worse foods such as bombay mix and tons of peanuts which is just terrible. Fortunately my body is in disagreement with these foods so I'm just starting once again listening to it very carefully especially when my teeth decide to take a bite out of my tongue.

Body has been behaving strangely lately, the energy is more fluid seeming to have more control over body. The other day I leaned over a pot in the garden reaching out I lifted up my right leg only slightly and suddenly leg just gave out and I almost fell flat on my face on granite along with that a tray of my seedlings fell out upside down  - fortunately they survived the accident, I love that plants are so resilient. I was so angry at myself and soon I was asking myself 'why? why would you that?'

Yesterday morning I did the headstand as part of my morning ritual and as I flipped legs onto wall, without warning legs swung out to right as if by another force and I ended up slamming onto floor towards the right side. When I breathe in deeply my head does a lot of swaying almost dancing which I like this actually makes me feel very relaxed, the more deeper the breathing the more intense the movement. When I remain still and observe there is a light swaying and if I surrender to these body movements body moves in different ways and directions.

I do get paranoid about these things sometimes and other times I am concerned about my sanity. I think one of my craziest theories so far is that some kind of parasite, and by parasite I don't mean an invisible evil entity, I mean an actual wriggling worm has got into my brain and has taken over partial control over my bodily movements - my more rational diagnosis is that I'm having some kind of nervous system meltdown and my body is simply reacting. Then there's kundalini and I'd like to very much think that it is this process but I'm starting to doubt everything. Perhaps for now it is best to stick with 'it is what it is'.

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