A Sad Feeling

I have been feeling an emotion that is difficult to describe - it is some kind of sadness that comes without warning and has no cause, there is a hint of grief, the feeling of having lost something very dear.

I have written about this before since it has happened several times. I feel that whatever it is I need to comfort it, to soothe it - something that lives within me.

Another Sing Along Song

This occurred three days ago - early morning going back to sleep in a relaxed state of mind I felt like I had earphones on and was listening to music. This time the song playing is 'Is Pyaar se meri taraf na dekho'. Singing along I know that I'm in bed and that I don't have mp3 player actually neither had I ever listened to this song at all - only briefly when I was a teenager. Lately I've been playing a few mellow bollywood tunes but I wouldn't say it triggered these incidents. In fact it was only after the previous song incident that inspired me to listen to my player again.

Back to this experience - suddenly I heard my sister and she sounded anxious. I quickly respond asking her what happened since it seemed urgent. Almost jumped out of bed only I was a little stuck. Raised arms and they were incredibly buoyant but were silhouette. Then I raised my legs same buoyancy and silhouette. I can't recall how I exited scene but was very groggy and needed more sleep.

Darkness in the Clouds

Interesting dream I had this morning.

At first I'm talking to my new neighbours and I talk about their garden telling them I've seen it before and would like to just walk around there for a bit. I talk a bit about previous neighbours and mentioned the neighbour who passed away last year memories of him looming through.

After that the scene changes drastically - I am surrounded by strangers yet I seem to know some of them. The clouds are dark, gloomy, very angry and even dangerous looking. I can feel that something isn't right and I have to get out and follow the storm - to communicate with it. As I try to leave I am being held back, forced to stay. The others are concerned about my well being. I continuously make attempts to run away and somehow manage to escape, it is around this point that I was incredibly lucid I can recall the dream events after this part but remember opening physical eyes briefly looking out for the entities / beings in surrounding environment. Too groggy and something going on in head.

From yesterday afternoon I became unusually depressed - my mood taking a completely unexpected dip, just holding back tears until finally I took a nap. I am no stranger to this mood fluctuation but have not had it often and it is accompanied with an empty sadness that seems to have no source. Now mood is pretty much back in a neutral mode. I wonder if the dream is a reflection of this - also physically I have been giving into my emotional eating habits, old cravings taking over perhaps simply a part of the cleansing but then everything is connected.