Breatharianism - Living on Light

This is something that I have read about a few times and it clicked with me instantly. I think it is a process that I have naturally been undergoing without much awarenes and it seemed to start happening around the time I had my so called TB lump which just emerged overnight. When it happened I knew about breatharianism but never quite connected the dots. At that time my appetite was so greatly reduced that I was incredibly concerned for my physical body I had to force myself to eat and I went so downhill with all the junk food which I see now was a result of my out of whack emotions. However with the reduced appetite I experienced no fatigue at all, in fact around this time the amount of energy I had was so new to me that I felt like a new person. Despite this I was depressed - which I realize now was a reaction to all the hospital wait and negative energy from doctors and nurses rather than my condition, never ever again - I would happily die of cancer if need be.

I have been reading as well as watching some material by Jasmuheen and she exudes this incredible loving energy - very motherly.

 For a while now my appetite has been so low, sometimes I'm not hungry at all. I am starting to understand my body more clearly now and I have realized this business of eating is a habit formed by our emotions and rarely from an actual need to provide the body with fuel. Most of the times when I eat - I'm either bored, worried that I might waste away or I just want to taste food for pleasure (chocolate does a good job of this). Another thing also is the routine of eating. We have a set time to eat food, breakfast in the morning, lunch afternoon and dinner in the evening. Fortunately out of concern for my health I have done some real hard work on force feeding myself healthy raw foods since last year summer rather then let my emotions eat away at my core with junk food - so I applaude myself for that and for anyone who is at least trying. Now I'm starting to understand hunger signals, basically there aren't any hunger signals or none that I'm aware of. I do not know what hunger is, the very subject of food and eating is becoming so alien to me and yet I'm constantly refining my diet primarily out of the fear that I will become frail and weak if I eat too little or stop eating all together. I rarely am thirsty enough and do not drink as much fluid as I used to but with the change of weather (dry and very hot) I am somewhat getting thirsty and need to drink. Since converting to vegetarian diet I have lost a significant amount of weight.

I think somehow all this is due to the Salvia induced experiences on top of a kundalini process - it has directly changed the way my body functions. I have been practicing doing headstands and I can't balance at all because my legs have a life of their own. The body seems to like spinning. My body has become so light and bouncy I feel it can levitate. There is so much energy powering this body I can dance a whole day and not feel tired - dancing is about the only thing right now that makes me come alive and I have this need to do it daily. It feels so good, not dancing - but coming alive. Lately I have been sleeping quite a bit more than usual but still energetic during the day, other than dancing I prefer doing light energy work rather then anything too strenuous, gardening is a nice form of relaxation and I'm turning a neglected garden into a beautiful oasis.

When it comes to diet however I am  not  a saint or anything, I do sometimes indulge in the forbidden white grains mostly just rice really, with cooked vegetables, sometimes potatoes and on rare occasions wheat products - I live at home with other family members and they have the worst kind of diet imaginable, everyday I am bombarded with rice so I taste some of it just to fulfill a craving which is slowly dissipating however I know for a fact everytime I eat it it is always due to emotional upheavel, even a slight elevation of negative emotions makes me want to stuff the crap out of it. Despite these nagging cravings I tend to eat very little, daily meals include mostly sprouted legumes and beans, sprouted greens, wild foraged food, egg yolks, carrots and even conventional type salads, some nuts and fatty seeds - about 80% of what I eat is organic and raw. I've definitely developed a chocolate addiction, fortunately not commercial chocolates. Luckily I'm not rich enough to feed this addiction constantly. For this year I have decided to stick with solids until I feel ready for liquidarianism.

So now I am facing the very potential of living on prana, I know I have to do some extra cleaning and assist the body in detoxing which involves enemas and longer fasting durations. Fridays fasting have been difficult because again my emotions take over and I'll stick a bit of flavoured rice in my mouth or let some chocolate covered dates melt in my mouth. It's all about the emotional triggers and I don't know how to resolve them but I need to work on this area. Right now there are three solutions:

1) Work on the emotional triggers one by one - this could be a long and arduous task
2)  Stay away from the emotional triggers so they do not produce the negative respones - this ones hard because I simply can't and even if I did stay away more emotional triggers would find me in another form or another situation
3) Keep myself busy with joyous activity and do some positive intention work daily so that I am happily too busy to be revved up by the common emotional triggers - dancing is helping, I forget everything else when I'm dancing.

I have added in a few routine practices such as headstands, 5 tibetan rites,  pranayama and meditation. I love singing and when I have time I am doing voice excerises - humming and head vibrations are a good way to clear the head of impurities and does wonders for the voice. Another thing that interests me is spontaneity, to live spontaneously and not plan every second of life and only parts of it that are necessary such as ones lifestyle etc.

I will keep this blog updated on my progress.