Waking

I am always awakened at 2am with that throbbing energy - feels like pulsing waves and I'm starting to get really dizzy. The entities still continue to seduce me but I think their intentions are a little different - perhaps that sexual energy has some other significance. Last night they were extreme, it's like they're breaking through to the point where they might be able to lift me up inside this earth realm. That is a scary thought considering how I don't trust them at all, nor my judgement. When I awakened in the physical they were so clearly above me looking down at me - the throbbing energy calmed down a bit.

By 3am I gave in to the urges- I told them that I won't be doing this ever again but it's the only thing that is letting me sleep. I fall asleep and awaken at 5am again they are so clearly visible.

By 6:45am I fell asleep again but I can't even recall having closed my eyes. Had dreams related to life here on earth. In one dream I am shopping with my sister and she's looking for a bottle of oil which she had already bought. She wants to get 300ml but I tell her about the bottle she already purchased and asked wouldn't it be better to finish that before buying another. I'm looking at another counter and there's a massive bottle with oil but not the oil she's looking for. The shop assistant tells me it's 500ml. I tell her it isn't - that looks more like 1.5ltr. Then I'm in some other state being told about lucid dreams and one sentence I remember clearly is 'These anomalies in dreams are there to wake you up, make you lucid' I've always known this, so it was nothing new interesting to hear it in my mind. Then I hear another sentence 'It is true - there is a second self, the main self, the true self.' That's when I know it's the entities - they're in my head, scanning everything stored in there. The second self - that was a reference from The Ringing Cedars book. Pissed that they're going through my head possibly manipulating me I wake up again seeing them clearly.

Interestingly every sensations and symptoms I'm getting now is Kundalini related only I seem to be experiencing a little differently than usual - I feel their actions causing these sensations. I felt them touching inside my head, feet fluttering and spasms over legs and the most obvious spine movements especially at the base of the spine.

Now I know how they changed my perception, when I close my eyes I see there shadowy forms above me. Experimenting I lay down and it was like they're bending over me, and sitting down same thing occurs - almost as though I'm in another place, in this other place I'm lying down whether I'm walking here in this physical environment or sitting down. Like this world is some sort of coma dream.

I recall once (a memory of this earth life) being at the brink of death above me forming images of people looking down at me - I hear a woman saying if I can see them to nod and I nod a little - and I knew I was in the hospital bed and the woman was one of the nurses. It is just like that - waking up from sleep.

Starting to piece things together, I get this sense that the real me is asleep, unconscious somewhere and this me here is a projection coming from that real self.

I think the others are hinting at something - that this reality I percieve as real and solid is about to get very strange. Still wary of them, I find it difficult to believe any of this simply because I don't trust them.