Clarity of Dreams

The dreams I've been having lately have been so incredibly detailed and much longer than usual as well as disturbing. Unfortunately I do not have enough willpower to even summarize anything that long so I haven't been bothered jotting them down in my dream journal.

Had a several of these bizarre dreams this morning. In one dream that I can vividly recall there is a man in his car at McD's drive-through. On the passenger seat I can see a woman in her 50's maybe, eyes gawking and lips ajar. She looks in shock and frozen, I realize she's dead and I'm thinking he should close her eyes and mouth so she appears to be sleeping. I wonder why he's making it so blatant. He reaches out forward doing exactly what I was thinking. As he drives off I notice he has forgotten a burger - he reverses, I reach out grabbing the burger.

There were more dreams which I can't recall as clearly when I woke up at 7:35am. Went back to bed at 9am. Within a few minutes I became aware of my body falling asleep. There was an intense gripping feeling right in my solar plexus. I was in so much agony, snapped out of the SP but the pain remained. Held onto my belly groaning for a bit until I lost consciousness. It felt like my stomach was being yanked out.

Then I had a dream where I'm heavily pregnant, I seem to be with a partner. There is another person who is attacking us. I get a memory flash of this person, he is forcefully injecting me with something and I lose consciousness.

In another dream I'm playing Resident Evil. This time I'm inside the game playing it as if it were all real. An inventory screen pops up at the middle and I equip some grenades. A lift is coming up I wait for the doors to open and throw the grenades at the speedy, bigger, badder, and better equiped zombies.

Clarity of Dreams

The dreams I've been having lately have been so incredibly detailed and much longer than usual as well as disturbing. Unfortunately I do not have enough willpower to even summarize anything that long so I haven't been bothered jotting them down in my dream journal.

Had a several of these bizarre dreams this morning. In one dream that I can vividly recall there is a man in his car at McD's drive-through. On the passenger seat I can see a woman in her 50's maybe, eyes gawking and lips ajar. She looks in shock and frozen, I realize she's dead and I'm thinking he should close her eyes and mouth so she appears to be sleeping. I wonder why he's making it so blatant. He reaches out forward doing exactly what I was thinking. As he drives off I notice he has forgotten a burger - he reverses, I reach out grabbing the burger.

There were more dreams which I can't recall as clearly when I woke up at 7:35am. Went back to bed at 9am. Within a few minutes I became aware of my body falling asleep. There was an intense gripping feeling right in my solar plexus. I was in so much agony, snapped out of the SP but the pain remained. Held onto my belly groaning for a bit until I lost consciousness. It felt like my stomach was being yanked out.

Then I had a dream where I'm heavily pregnant, I seem to be with a partner. There is another person who is attacking us. I get a memory flash of this person, he is forcefully injecting me with something and I lose consciousness.

In another dream I'm playing Resident Evil. This time I'm inside the game playing it as if it were all real. An inventory screen pops up at the middle and I equip some grenades. A lift is coming up I wait for the doors to open and throw the grenades at the speedy, bigger, badder, and better equiped zombies.

Energy Ball and Near Projections

Yesterday morning fell asleep at 11am making up for some lost sleep. Eventually I became aware of sensations and as usual I assume I'm about to AP - seems to be the only thing I use to explain these strange happenings.

I felt some weird magnetic force pulling me from the soles of my feet, it felt like my insides were the first being sucked out by a powerful vacuum. I didn't have to restrain myself instead my reaction was a feeling of perhaps just a mild form of euphoria. I wasn't exactly ecstatic but somewhat near to it.

Within a few seconds of this I was able to move my legs and felt the solidity of them and the feeling that the soles of my feet were pressing against this strong sucking magnetic force that now felt like a large ball. The simplest, most descriptive word I can use to describe this ball was that it was 'energetic' and when I moved my legs I could feel the energy following the movement. I could feel my lips curling into a smile followed by a roaring inner laughter - the feeling was playful.

I was distracted by external noise, moved the rest of my body and instantly ended up in SP where I struggled to regain movement.

A few days ago had a near projection where I experienced mild forms of astral symptoms but there was some distraction so I could not go further.

Electric Surges and Brief APs

Last night I had some difficulty falling asleep until about 2am. Immediately there was a sensation that felt like electricity surging through from the back of my head to the back of my neck. The sensation was incredibly strong, it felt like my brain was being yanked out, I held tightly on my pillow realizing these sensations pop up mostly when I'm lying down on my front. With some effort I manage to turn over, resting on my back the sensation subsided but I could still feel mild vibrations in my head, neck and arms.

I close my eyes and almost instantly it feels like I've zapped into a scene where I am looking out of my front door outside where it looks like something has gone wrong. I walk out, there is a rather long lorry blocking my view but I can see on the other side of it a burst of flame. There are burning vehicles across the street. Many people outside are staring at something other than the burning vehiclesI can't see what they are looking at, it's noisy and I can hear mostly police sirens and fire brigades. I see my neighbour and ask him what happened to which I don't get a response, he seems to be in a daze as are everyone else. I woke up suddenly, it was still dark outside didn't bother to check the time and just fell asleep.

At 8am tried to get an hour of sleep - I knew somehow that was not possible, there was that predictability of something astral to take place. Lying down on my back, closed eyes my head felt like it was expanding, soon I'm in a small room I don't recognize. I see my sister and other people - for some reason it feels like an ordinary day only we all seem to be floating. Since I can clearly see my sister I wonder if I could see myself. I look at my arms, they look completely solid and physical. I'm seeking out a mirror to see my entire body and surprised to see my physical form as it is. I turn away and suddenly my body has taken up the movement of a wave, at this stage I'm seeing through my eyes in and out of the astral and my physical bedroom. As I look at my bedroom ceiling I can hear several songs playing, I seem to be still moving like a wave. I end up getting to the SP state where I try to move my arms and snap out because I thought that I left the radio on and it was a bit distracting, of course when I got up the radio noise disappeared. Woke up around 9ish am.

Sky meets Land

Time: 6am
Technique: WBTB (woke up at 3am)
Mood: Calm
Symptoms: floating, ear vibrations
Goals: None

Prior to this experience at 5am I had a brief exit episode where I felt backward sensation and the view of an office appeared and moving continuously backwards viewing a dining room with a cluttered table. When I snapped out of that one I thought I just had my maximum quota of projecting for the day.

At 6am I closed my eyes to get a few more hours of sleep. Instantly as I heard the sounds produced by the aeroplane passing by my ear drums began to vibrate with such intensity I thought they were going to explode. I tried playing about with the rate at which it was vibrating. I briefly slowed it down just by focusing on the vibration and the uneasy sensation that it produced, but it was still uncomfortable. Suddenly from the corner of my eyes I noticed something. There was a large glassless, frameless window - an open square and through that square I was looking at the sky which was a combination of colours that I could not comprehend - this sky unlike any ordinary sky seemed to be on top of the land beneath it that was just as luminous and vibrant as the sky. Looking at it I was so astonished to be witness to such incredible and indescribable beauty.

At this stage the ear vibrations were completely gone, perhaps because I was marvelling at the grandeur of the sky meeting the land. There seemed to be no distance between the two. The beauty of this view became a bit too much for reasons unknown, I had to avert my glance to make it endurable. I suddenly wept, there were no physical tears it was an inner weeping and I had no idea why. It was an emotion so foreign to me that no emotion ever experienced could come close to describing it - perhaps I can say it was unbearable which might make it sound like it was bad. Quite contrary to that I think it was a positive emotion but I just did not have the capacity to hold on to it.

The emotion was unmercifuly growing stronger and no averting my eyes helped - it would persist whether I dared to look or not. Now I wanted out, looking for an escape that seemed nowhere to be found. My vision was engulfed with a sudden darkness at which point the foreign emotion became stronger. I cried even harder and I could hear the sound of my crying which I believe finally snapped me out of that state where back in the physical a milder version of the emotion was present as if it were slowly shutting down. The time was 6:05 am.

At about 7am I tried to make up for some much needed sleep, had an interesting episode of SP. I managed to lift my left arm but noticed that I now had two left arms both looked physical, one was in the original position from where I raised it and the other was positioned to the point I raised it to. The original arm slowly began to vanish - the same thing happened with my right arm. It was unlike double vision, there was no haziness it was as clear as viewing my both arms right now. I think this might have been due to my brain slowing down and taking time to wipe out the memory of where I originally moved it from - quite amazing to watch how the brain functions. It has to make one wonder though, is the body really there, are the things that we see really there or are they just stored up memories continuously and consistently repeating?

After this SP I had an FA where I got out of bed to the bathroom. I got the toothbrush ready and in the instant that I looked at the mirror staring at a stranger standing next to me with a smug look on his face I screamed myself awake back into the SP state and then to C-1 at 7:15am.

My latest meditations

The past few weeks the way I meditate has changed drastically. I noticed that my previous meditations were very systematic and very supressive. I have recognized that I have been continuously trying to control every new obstacle that popped up, first it was thoughts, then it was some bodily sensation and soon enough the spontaneous movements came out of nowhere and I would try to look for a solution by trying to understand what it was in the first place so that I could control it.

In the first week I refined my meditation method a great deal - though I had stopped focusing on my breathing I started chanting mantras to help quiet my mind. In every session it seemed I was trying to improve the method. I did a search on google looking for easy meditation techniques until I started reading about Jiddu Krishnamurti who offers the easiest method of meditation which is actually no method at all. His thoughts on what meditation is not has made a lot of sense in that you sort of uncover what it really is. So lately in my meditations I've just been watching thoughts pass by instead of trying to control it, I just observe on what is. To be more specific I observe my attention which seems to travel from one thing to another. The first thing my attention is focused on is usually a thought, then it would move to an external sound and so on.

What makes meditation easy isn't the application of a technique or method but the basic understanding and seeing for yourself that there is more control of the meditation (imposing your will on it) rather than allowing meditation to move freely. You have to really let go of all the ideas you hold about meditation.

Amazingly I have meditated under extremely noisy conditions and I have done so through no effort, relaxation seems to occur naturally. I now get into a much more deeper state by simply letting go, however there is the case of spontaneous movements of my arms and hands. It seems everything about meditation is spontaneous. These movements are quite startling because they happen so suddenly and they seem to be intelligently controlled. In one session my fingers on the right hand slowly curled into a fist, in another session several fingers in sync with both hands curled. The most startling incident was when I wasn't meditating instead I tried falling asleep. I rested my right hands on my solar plexus. After just a few seconds my right arm spontaneously glided to rest on my side, after the initial shock I put my hands back on my solar plexus and a few seconds later my arm again was swiftly placed by my side. It was only after the third instance that I was scared out of my wits and just gave in leaving my right arm to rest by my side.

Chakra sensations are even more noticeable especially the heart chakra which feels like a heavy weight on my chest, after one session of meditation I felt like my chest was being crushed. At the time I felt like I might be having a heart attack, of course I learnt later that the crushing sensation is a symptom of a heart attack but seems to be associated with pain which I did not feel. The sensation slowly dissipated once I stopped focusing on it. Another sensation that has become more pronounced since my spine tingling episodes is localized at the base of the spine - it feels like a rapid pulsing.

Spine tingles - 2nd episode

On the 18th July I had another spine tingling episode only there was more commotion than the first time and I was a lot more reactive. I went to bed at 1am. Suddenly I became aware of an electrifying energy movement in my back and an intense movement in my spine - I couldn't be certain in which direction it was moving, it seemed to be moving in all direction. Honestly I could not analyze my situation since it was far too startling but I had thought that it must be really late right now - maybe 4ish am, I seem to be accustomed to strange things happening after 4am.

The sensation in my back felt like little electrifying critters swimming about and there was a strange cramp in my solar plexus - the cramping itself did not hurt just felt unusual. I was lying down on my front holding the pillows tightly trying to regain control. As I tried to get up the force had an even stronger grip. This unforeseen force seemed to have an agenda of its own. A sort of communication from an unknown source came forth in the form of a pamphlet - I could clearly read the words written on the front page - they were blocks of sentences. I read the word ascetic in one sentence and tired to remember what it meant - in another sentence there was the word sanity. I can only recall these particular words. I had a feeling this was related to Kundalini Awakening and strangely I knew there were no words written on this pamphlet because there was no pamphlet, I was interpreting all this with my mind with the knowledge that it has acquired.

I knew I was experiencing this on a physical level, it was certainly much more dramatic than anything I've experienced astrally. A sudden sense of loss washed over me and I had this feeling that I was about to lose something and immediately the people that I am closest to came to mind. With the feeling of impending doom I struggled to get up, an enormous amount of effort was required until I broke the spell at which point the energetic movement in my back came to a halt. I felt different, far too light to be physical and then the spinning occurred, this time it was the room that was spinning. I finally snapped out, lying down on my front. It ended at 1:30am, I was surprised because I felt that some few hours passed by until I became aware of the sudden sensations.