Fear of Wasps and The Snake

In the recent days since the summer heat has been breaking out I have had wasps come in through the open window, inducing my already crazy fear regarding wasps.

This fear of wasps goes a few years back, though I've always been afraid of these buzzing buggers my fear actually amplified when I got stung which was my fault I think. I had a really uncomfortable reaction to the sting, it is quite possible that most of it was psychological.

Anyways this morning I dreamt that several wasps were flying in through a window in unfamiliar room. Of course I panic in the same way I would if it were happening in reality. Suddenly I see a snake, I think it was white with a bit of black patches. I am suprisingly relieved by the presence of this creature. I am especially relieved when the snake begins eating the wasps.

As I did a search on these totems, I found something in relation to the snake which seemed to correlate with the dream.

Snake
The power of snake medicine is the power of creation.
It is the knowledge that all things are equal
in creation, and that those things which might
be experenced as poison can be eaten, ingested,
integrated, transmuted if one has the proper state of mind.

http://www.uc2enter.com/animalomens.html

Reason For Lack of APs

I don't have much to report in the astral department which may be because I have not had any unbroken sleep and in the mornings that I do wake earlier than usual I can't stay up for longer than 30 minutes which is strange coz I wake up extremely alert as if it would be impossible to go back to sleep. Also add to that the fact that I'm not recalling dreams as often and clearly as I used to.

With that said I do have the desire to AP and try other metaphysical things - I want to explore as much as I can.

Hemi-Sync TGE Update

So far I'm still on Wave 1 - night times I listen to Sleep Exploration which helps me to fall asleep faster, mornings and afternoons I listen to Advanced Focus 10 - I've got a post describing all the focus states I'll link to later.

During some sessions I successfully achieved the F10 state - heard myself snore a few times which is a sure sign that my body's asleep and mind's awake.

There have also been involuntary movements, so far the most interesting one being where my left feet curled forward, very flexibly - it was cool. I have had one visual screen pop up of multicolored static screen morphing into waves, ripples and droplets very soothing and relaxing.

Tingling around my body has become the norm especially when I'm forming my REBAL which I'm practicing forming even without audio.

There have been times where I just couldn't focus in the same way that made me give up meditation - that seriously hopeless kind of feeling. I'm not sure if I can't meditate due to excessive energy or simply because my waking life is quite messy right now.

Another Baby Dream

There is something about these baby dreams that I have just realized I have quite often. I've noticed in most of these baby dreams my cousin is present. This cousin was my best friend back aeons ago in school. In physical reality I visited her last month after a really long time, and that was after such a long time.

In this morning dream I am cradling a few months old baby. I'm taking the baby up the stairs and going from room to room I'm telling the baby to wave at the people in the room. This adorable baby is waving at them and pronouncing 'bah-bah'. My cousin is also standing by outside in the middle of nowhere and in the dream we are going somewhere.

I should use this baby theme as my lucid 'ah-ha' moment.

As far as interpretation goes, if I am to think about it seriously I have to say that the baby in the dream represents innocence, the 'bah-bah' wave was highly symbolical of letting go - perhaps of people and circumstances in my life that aren't allowing me to grow. I'm not sure about the cousin, all I can say about her is that she's pretty annoying which is why I think we drifted apart.

Electric Shock and Voices

Yesterday morning (while awake C-1) when I reached out to switch on the computer I got a scary electric shock zapping on my index finger right hand - this made me jump back. It was a little painful. I also had a really long SP y'day mornin after listening to wave 1 - advanced F10. This SP is actually the F10 state. My recall of dreams are very short.

Anyways, I hope I don't blow up my expensive equipments - maybe need to do something grounding.

My left hand has been heating up intensely during a few hemi-sync sessions. According to the hemi-sync manual the heat is due to metabolic drop. Perhaps the whole hemisphere synchronization is accelerating the energetic K process. I should also mention that I have been hearing voices, the other day woke up and heard a man saying 'hello?' out loud in the hallway, another time I heard a croaky voice right beside my bed telling me to 'get up' in an alarming way, I was worried coz it sounded really urgent like someone I knew was in trouble.

Restarting Hemi-Sync Gateway Experience

I am restarting my sessions with hemi-sync - it has been a really long time. I had ended it due to a phase I was going through which I could only describe as an 'emptying' a kind of mental detox.

I've reread Monroes books and I guess it sparked something again and now I have a sudden interest in initiating APs/OBEs.

The gateway experience was not designed only for APs and OBEs but also for spiritual growth and personal development - the APs are just an added bonus I guess.

I guess another reason why I haven't dared to have any gateway experience sessions was because of the whole kundalini awakening process.

Chi Energy

I have found interesting article which helped me understand my sudden inability to meditate.

Chi is life force it is what gives life to every living component.

The concept of "life force" is found in most of the ancient cultures of the world. In India it is known as prana, in China chi, in Japan ki, for Native Americans, the Great spirit.

Chi Gung is energy work - which has sparked my interest. I will also be looking into Robert Bruce's NEW Energy System.

Although I'm aware that this energy known by different names in different parts of the world, I was not sure that it could be the reason for my inability to meditate.

For some reason I felt like I needed to stay away from meditating - I guess I had a secret fear of something going awry if I made any further attempts. Now I'm certain it's this energy concentrating and continuous practice makes it more hard to sustain. Even without meditating the energy gets extreme. At times I could be simply relaxing or getting ready for sleep and suddenly I would jolt upright. Most of the times and randomly the energy is definitely working around chakra areas. Now I would very much like to learn how to control and use this energy.