My Astral Projection Journal

Change of Blog

2010-07-25T21:28:00.008+01:00

Shifted to another blog where I changed title and added some extra categories. Initially decided to make that other blog private to see just how deeper I am willing to go in writing more personally.

In the spirit of sharing I have now decided to share all further writings I have written since my absence from this blog.

New Blog

Reality In Reverse

2010-02-14T23:42:00.026Z

Some day last week before bedtime I put forth the intention for my dreams to awaken me within the dream, so that I may begin to take control and direct the dream consciously (Lucid dreaming).

I started dreaming a lot of upside downess of my current reality. In these dreams there are a lot of things in reverse. For eg. in one dream I was getting off a bus and decided to check out the library. This library was changed dramatically, all computers were on the ground floor where in physical reality there are bookshelves on ground floor and the computers on the top floor, plus a small museum. I headed upstairs giving some thought to the dramatic change however I accepted this change simply because I have not been to this library in a long time. Once I got upstairs there was a lot of strangeness that were definite signs pointing out to me that I was dreaming, for eg. there was another set of stairs which were upside down, completely in reverse and a series of writing spiralling upwards. Had a series of dreams like this but still just did not get the hint.

I started amping my intention and now I am beginning to act out these dreams in the physical reality. Yesterday morning I was dreaming that I was eating some kind of soup from a tin and I've stopped eating tinned food for a long time now, a hint to wake up I guess. I look at the rim of the tin and notice a moulding fungus growth, out of revolt I head to the bin spitting out the remaining soup left in my mouth. Continuously spitting I wake up to physical reality, on my bed spitting out on my pillow.

My intention for the next attempt is to program a certain anomaly which I will recognise as a symbol to help me realize I'm dreaming. Haven't thought of what this anomaly will be but when I get time will ponder it some more.

Astral Death and Incidents

2010-01-31T12:10:00.019Z

Attempted AP at 6:30am with no specific intention but I was thinking a little about making a trip to Source/God/Creator whatever label you want to apply.

There were about 5 areoplanes passing by - seriously annoying. As I entered a deeper relaxed state my ears had a wooshing airy sensation. I managed to get out, through the garden I was floating up towards the dark sky. Looked down, there was a black cat staring at me with an unusual expression. I read it as a 'farewell'. The look on the cat was definitely an omen. Everything felt really unusual and suddenly it dawned on me that I was in the process of dying. I kept getting this feeling that something was wrong with my physical body. I remember clearly thinking "Whoa I don't want to die. So many unfulfilled dreams."

Despite these thoughts I was calm and composed I thought of my precious body - that is usually enough to get back only this time I was shooting faster deeper into space. Started to feel a little desperate. It was pitch black, suddenly became aware of a wave of energy at the crown of my head flowing outwards down to my neck. My brain was a wobbling mass of jelly. A pressure was squishing my head causing a crushing pain. Wondering where I was I peeped open my right eye looking at the surroundings of my room. The pain did not concern me since I was glad to be back. I tried to raise my head when the wave of energy came to a halt.

My head felt like it weighed tons - I was exhausted and rested my head to get some much needed sleep. There were too many different incidents that took place after this until 9am.

One incident my upper body was raised up (in the physical) with a hissing sound escaping my mouth.

In another incident I found myself being guided around a piece of land. I came upon a tree, with luscious illuminating beautiful leaves. I touch the leaves looking out into the vast fields of land in awe, imagining everything that I can create in this already beautiful space. I can feel a presence next to me but my mind is so preoccupied I don't think to observe it - besides it seems like it's invisible. With the beginning of a heavy rainfall a male voice began to speak. "The only downside to this land is that it has a propensity to create a lot of mould." I thought that maybe that could change, it was of little concern. This incident is particularly interesting as one of my recent intention to manifest has been to aqcuire a piece of land which I could cultivate, ever since then I have been having a lot of vivid nature dreams.

Messages In A Dream

2010-01-29T08:56:00.013Z

This morning I dreamt about a lot of stuff, but became aware in one particular dream.

It began with a large room filled with people, there is a piece of paper where everyone present is required to sign. There is something special about signing this paper and I'm really looking forward to get my turn. There are two friends next to me, after they sign I am the last person left. I hold the pen ready to sign but there is no space left. I am agitated that my friends would do this almost as if they intentionally wanted to leave me out. I am incredibly angry, finding a scrap piece of paper I begin to write my name in a bold classical type font. At first I write vertically and correct my mistake by writing horizontally.

As I write the letters of my name I get lost - almost zoned out. This state is trance like, a bit of my waking consciousness begins to emerge and I try to fix some letters. I can hear a background voice getting more audible. The voice is repeating the same sentence over and over again like a broken record - with each repetition a certain strength is added. The effect is a complete awareness at which point I hear the voice clearly speaking to me in a gentle rhythmic tone.

"Five years ago something happened to alter the course of history. Your understanding of this is paramount - now, pay attention..."

I became aware of plants surrounding me. Images began to flash illustrating certain activities, unfortunately as I awoke I could not appreciate a full recall of this. In fact whatever that image was, is now just completely incomprehensible to me. I wonder if this was a contact with Angels as I have read that dream is one of the many ways they communicate with us.

Establishing Angel Contact

2010-01-29T08:45:00.024Z

A few days ago I have been looking into Angels, sudden interest has been sparked and as I've mentioned before I'm opening up to more possibilities.

After I started feeling really sick the other day, which was my fault as I went from eating healthy vegan for almost 3 weeks only to revert back to junk food, I asked Archangel Raphael to assist me in the healing process - to speed it up. I went into a relaxed mode and my left leg clenched and then relaxed followed by my right leg, back and forth this continued for 5 minutes and I continued to relax. Within an hour I was cleared.

Yesterday I decided to establish contact with any angels that could assist me. My intention for the session was to find out what my intentions were before I got here and whether I am on track and who better to inform me than God's emissaries.

During the session there was a lot of involuntary movements which is one of the reason why I've cut down on meditation. I let these movements pass and soon found myself intensely relaxed. Mentally there was a lot of garbled thoughts entering my mind. After 20 minutes ended the session. So, I didn't exactly get any answers but this morning had a dream where I think some connection was made.

Seeing Electrical Sparks and Advice on Abilities

2010-01-26T08:45:00.016Z

For almost over a month, I've noticed while I take any cardigan off it is accompanied by loud static sounds - it doesn't matter how long I wear it but the static is always there. Another thing that would also consistently take place is a visible pale blue flashing light.

This morning at 5:30am after getting in my room with lights off I took my cardigan off which I had only worn for maybe less than 5 minutes and once again there was a flashing bright light that disappeared quickly. The crackling sounds were very loud and continued as I moved it about trying to catch another glimpse of this brilliant spark.

I ran my fingers across the cardigan - there were strokes and flashes of that pale blue bright light. Before me was a spectacular lightning fiesta, though it was amazing I knew I was starting to freak out a little, so I put it down and got in bed.

I attempted to AP, found it difficult to relax but by 6:30am I was feeling light. In a deep relaxed state my right ear started to vibrate making an incredible amount of noise - buzzing and gushing sounds. My focus on it caused it to accelerate. Suddenly a black screen appeared before me - there was some writing which was hard to read since it was grey on a black background. Anyways, I focused and read a bit recognizing that this was some kind of information regarding astral projection and other abilities written in a question and answer format. The part I can remember clearly was regarding 'beliefs'. Here's what I managed to capture:

'A belief in these abilities is not essential - it is more important to remain open and willing so that the beliefs that you do hold do not stop you from realizing your abilities'.

Okay, this much I've sort of figured out after having many experiences with manifesting, changing beliefs or trying to let go of them completely. I really would've liked to remember everything that was written, but it is difficult to read something like this in that state let alone remember it or maybe that's just a belief.

There was an external distraction, got up and back in bed - right ear vibrated again, body felt incredibly light and started to float a tiny bit - I felt this happening physically. Possibly levitating once more. I wanted to go higher up but again due to external distraction ended it by opening eyes.

Ringing Cedars Series by Vladimir Megre

2010-01-24T11:09:00.008Z

Wow! Where do I start about these wonderful books, they're just so amazing. These books are so absolutely fascinating and reading them I could actually feel the energy contained in each word - they definitely stir something within. You could have an awakening experience with the information presented and more than likely it would make a Kundalini Awakening seem snail paced.

It's about a Siberian woman, Anastasia who lives in the Taiga forest by herself amongst nature. She has a completely different way of living compared to our modern standard way of life and even abilities that most people spend time trying to exercise for years. The most essential information personally I found in these series was from 'Book 4: Co-creation' where she describes our 'Pristine Origins'. I'm doing a really poor attempt at describing these books - for more detailed information read this.

For those who are interested in Astral Projection there's also a few chapters on this although Anastasia does not call it astral projection instead refers to this other vehicle as the 'second human self'. You can read a preview in google books in 'Book 4: Co-Creation' under the chapter 'Where do we go in sleep?'

All the books can be previewed in google books.

I have also found some of the information within these books correlate with what Robert Monroe had mentioned about a certain civilization. I'll have to go through Monroe's book once more to check this out.

Lost In Translation

2010-01-14T09:18:00.010Z

I woke up at 3:15am - about 5am tried to relax and fall asleep without any intention for projecting in any way.

Within a few minutes I could sense something was heading my way - the sensations were at first so unusual I can't really describe it and where it started. I was encapsulated by this energy - it was becoming extremely concentrated in my head. There was some light vibration in my teeth - they were buzzing. I sensed it was definitely a reaction from this energy. As the energy seemed to slow down I could feel the movement of my teeth changing. Eventually this buzzing converted into chewing which suggests that either the energy was balancing or just slowing down.

Suddenly I find myself in another room - I walk around and end up at a reception. Behind the desk is a man who looks at me smiling. I smile back realizing we're speaking in a completely different language. We're using the language of facial expressions, mostly just smiling. Though I understand it I'm still a little confused. He responds with a smile telling me to go to the next reception desk as the person there speaks English. This second reception is to the left - there I am greeted by a young man who suddenly in mid conversation disappears. He seems to be the only one talking as I am too busy trying to figure out why he's suddenly invisible which caused me to pay very little attention to what was said. Can't recall much after this.

Physical Teleportation Attempt

2010-01-12T08:26:00.046Z

With just a little bit of research into Teleportation I thought I'd try it out. I was really hoping to read about other peoples experience on this but right now there seems to be very little information. Teleportation is different from Astral Projection or OBE, the difference being instead of projecting an astral body/form you are projecting the physical body. Also astral projection/OBE are considered to be a form of teleportation.

As a starter I decided I was not going to delve into any techniques - this will be done purely by intent and during the hours that I tend to astral project. Before sleep I asked my spirit guide network to assist me in removing blocks, barriers anything that stops me from using these abilities. I then added that I would like to wake up early so that I could practice teleportation and if I can't stay up make sure the birds are singing.

An Example on Intent Manifesting
I had a dream of cycling down a familiar town, passing by shops, supermarkets, market stalls, people that I know, people that I have never met etc. Sometimes I would suddenly be walking instead of cycling. At one point I'm next to a crossing, everyone is in a hurry including me. I'm about to cross when suddenly a mini bus approached at high speed out of nowhere. I took a quick step back holding my breath and noticed another man next to me with the same reaction - that was too close.

I continued on cycling next to a supermarket, from a distance I see a young girl running. There are two police officers approaching. I get a feeling that she did a bit of shop lifting and was getting nicked for it. I almost cycle past the officers when I'm suddenly stopped by a woman who I figure works for the supermarket. She says 'How dare you? Can't you see the police officers are trying to deal with a crime here?' I gather that she wants me to move back and wait until the officers have dealt with the girl. I am so annoyed at this authority, I shout back with a torrent of anger 'How dare you talk to me like that?' I continue to insult her with a lot of swear words and I'm pretty much using her drab appearance and character as my form of attack. At the same time there is a girl standing next to me giggling. This is the dream that I wake up from at 4:15am. I feel very groggy and almost within 5 minutes almost fall asleep, but then the birds start chirping and I remember my intention.

Second Part of Intention
Stayed up for an hour and it was decided that I am going to project to the bathroom - lol, just until I can really be sure that it's easy to project back to starting location, so that is what I'm experimenting with at the moment. I attempted at 5:15am, there was a little difficulty in relaxing but managed to let go of all the tension. Soon I seem to be still awake physically, there was a surge throughout my body inducing sexual feelings which according to Dr. Bruce Goldberg has been reported by some teleporters something that happens a lot lately upon waking up. Something feels very different and I feel fear rearing its ugly head, my teeth was doing something strange and I can't seem to recall what. Suddenly I'm in the bathroom only I realize it's not my bathroom - yet the entire setting and layout is exactly like my bathroom, it just felt really different somehow. I look at the mirror and surprised to see myself clearly I wonder if I've achieved my first conscious teleportation. I assume if I have indeed projected my physical body then my hands should not go through the mirror. My hands went through. I stared at my reflection and willed myself backwards. My body was gliding back just as I had willed it to with a simple thought.

I look out the window and see some very large trees, this time I walk through the wall. I walk outside for a brief moment not sure about my location. End of recall, got up at 7am. I can't really determine if this was a physical projection since I'm not sure what is to be expected. The only real way of verifying this is if a second person is witness to the dematerialization and materialization of the physical body. I'm going to experiment more on this and update here with details.

Drill #5

2010-01-07T10:14:00.018Z

Early morning woke up from pelvic movement which slowly stopped as I started becoming aware of it. Was too groggy to wonder why that happened so I let my head fall back on the pillow. The drill in the back of my head did not alarm me, it was slow and had impacted gradually. I was able to lift my head up and tried to resist this by turning over on my back, I just wanted to sleep. I realized as I moved that I could cause some damage by making these sudden movements so I remained still and just let it carry on.

When the drill started to slow down, sensations calming, my entire body, especially my back was in extreme amount of pain. I faded out of this pain into a very vivid dream state. I was dreaming about a talk show with two female presenters. They were discussing spiritual stuff I can't recall but one part I significantly remember is when one of the presenter was introducing a new singer, she sings a song and performs a snake like dance. There is also another dancer in the background. I watch the act and think 'Well, this is something that's not gonna sell'. Then I became mesmerised by the words and realized the purpose of this song was not to make it sell. I can't recall the words but at the time it felt like I needed to pay attention.

Resolving Guidance, Restrictions and Blockages - A New Year Resolution

2010-01-01T16:44:00.012Z

Last night at 2am before falling asleep I read out loud an invocation statement from the Self Healing Handbook. The purpose of this invocation is to release any barriers or restriction that hinders guidance or limits intuition.

After closing my eyes the spontaneous movements began, arms, legs and inner movements. A gasping breathing sound was releasing from my mouth. Fell asleep and awakened at 5am, went back to bed at 7am. There was an extreme tugging at the back of my head, my brain or some part of it was being yanked out. The sensation was unbearable and holding tightly on the pillow did not help. I struggled and signalled a stop sign, my recall is hazy after this. Awoke at 11am feeling exhausted.

Sensing Subtle Energies

2009-12-30T10:36:00.015Z

Tried an exercise last night, percieving and sensing subtle energies. At the first instance, less than a minute of moving my hands I felt the energy in between which was very subtle. Continuing with the practice the energy became more dense.

I would recite the statements then close my eyes and wait for the energy to increase. There was a gentle magnetic force pulling both hands in together. I would then stretch my hands out a little and then back in and there was that resistance mentioned in the article. I made a final statement to draw the energy within me, amazingly I felt it move into my chest where there was a slight constricted feeling that smoothed out, then tingles spread throughout my body.

A few years ago when I began exploring astral projection I had tried out a few energy percieving exercises (most on how to percieve aura and trying to create psi balls). One sunny day trying to percieve energy between my index fingers a few centimeters apart I was able to feel the same pressure. The energy oozed up so much I saw a misty smoke flowing outwards. I was definitely left astounded but at that time I didn't feel the pull to continue the practice. However, now I feel drawn to exploring these areas.

Chewing Incidents

2009-12-27T14:29:00.014Z

Last night while browsing on the net finding information in which I could put together all the recent experiences into something that fits I happened upon an ebook that really got my thinking process slowing down and instead a switch in my head began to click. It's called Self Healing Handbook by Clive Shane Hetherington. I was reading but absorbing information on a deeper level, so far all that I read deeply resonated with me so much that I repeated an invocation statement (can't recall which one).

Once I got to bed I didn't think much about what to expect. Around 3am I was awakened by my teeth chattering which was slowing down the more aware I became. There was another presence but it did not seem to be outside, external to me instead it seemed more from within. I let the chewing play out for a bit. There was a message in non-verbal communication however retaining the memory of it in that condition seems somewhat difficult. When the chewing ended I vaguely recalled the message but thought I'll remember it later (next time I'll be sure to make quick notes).

45 mins later fell asleep only to dream about chewing and biting. In one dream there is a man based in some control room - he has monitors that reveal footage from CCTV cameras. On one monitor there were two women, twins with fiery red cropped hair in white garments. They kept chewing something and somehow their bodies entangled. On another monitor there's a woman wearing white, she is convulsing and chewing. I'm creeped out by this and wonder if the man even notices that these psychotic people are coming after him.

In another dream I'm at the Dental Surgery to book an appointment, I fear that I've damaged my teeth from the incessant uncontrollable chewing. I'm being refused to be seen by any dentist because everyone's on lunch break. For some reason this agitates me.

In another dream, perhaps most intense because it appeared to be actually taking place, I was in bed with the uncontrollable chewing. My jaw slipped left and right, I was grinding my teeth with sudden biting. I stick my tongue out only to bite it so I pull it back in. I have no control over this so I seize any further attempts to do anything about this. The grinding is shifting my teeth apart causing excruciating physical and emotional pain.

Not sure if these experiences were due to the invocation statement or perhaps it had simply amplified a deeper healing process that has already been set in motion. I will continue to use these statements and will report back anything relevant.

Alternate Reality False Awakenings

2009-12-27T13:42:00.005Z

I've experienced an increasing amount FAs in the past few days always in the mornings some half an hour before I wake up. In each FA my house is always different, but I don't notice it at the time. At the same time there are things in these FAs, small incidents that are connected to this current reality. It seems these incidents are highly probable in this current reality.

They are confusing, perhaps because the FAs come in such an abundance I find it difficult to wrap my mind around it. Dreams are also continuously shifting giving a more theatrical feel to them, very much like stories and plots from movies only now there's more scenes. Unfortunately unable to write about these since they are too long.

Brief Update

2009-12-21T16:02:00.012Z

Last night felt pressure streaming down left part of face and the usual bodily energetic sensations. . Saturday night as I turned in for sleep my face started to squint, a spontaneous smile formed with a nice warm feeling inside - it felt really good.

There's also the occasional jaw slip and involuntary biting and chewing, it's not so alarming and I've noticed as soon as I become conscious of the movements they begin to slow down.

I've been hearing crickets chirping at night, they're very loud. I seem to be the only one hearing them.

Chip Implant Convulsions - Possible Soul Retrievals

2009-12-19T12:16:00.025Z

Last night while in bed I wasn't quite ready for sleep so I thought I'd just try to be attentive to my thoughts and basically wherever my attention went I'll follow it. I should note here that I also made a request for spirit guides. I'd think random stuff and it wasn't long until I began hearing voices. Very audible and clear, there were too many voices to remember any of the sentences - mostly just rambling stuff. I fell asleep but awakened several times. I kept having these weird dreams and FAs.

In one dream I am watching something on a monitor - it's a clip of a teenage boy and he's demonstrating a type of convulsion he gets due to kundalini. Then another clip, same boy sets up his camera in front of his bed, lays down and few minutes later he is convulsing. This seizure was more dramatic, his head and arms thrashing violently. I could hear two women making a comment 'This is wrong, he's too young he shouldn't be medling in this stuff.' Her ignorance annoyed me as I knew that some people don't medle in this stuff - it just happens. I woke up about 2am and attempted to sleep around 5am.

I was lying down on my belly when suddenly there was a movement in my rectum, it was pumping upwards with severe force. This has happened before but I would use all my might to stop the sensation. This time I knew I couldn't - the force was greater than my will. I phased in and out, aware of the sensation and then in some alternate reality type of false awakening. This continued for what seemed like eternity. At some stage the bed was shaking, I've never experienced an earthquake but I'd imagine this is what it would be like.

There was a male voice saying 'We're going to make some changes now.' I percieved this voice to be coming from the right, externally and not in my head. After that I began to hear other voices, a group of people speaking amongst themselves. I had the sense that I was no longer in my room. The voices increased in quantity as well as loundness and I felt as though I was surrounded by a very large crowd. There's the sound of a drill and an impact on the back of my head. The sensation at first was tolerable even though it felt more like a mini chainsaw instead of a drill.

A voice in my left ear alarmed me. It spoke a language that was so foreign I believe it was an alien. Even it's voice had an alien quality. At this point the sensation got stronger, I began convulsing. My head shot upwards, my arms would move in a violent manner much like what I witnessed in the dream state. To the onlooker I would appear to be having an extremely dangerous seizure. My awareness remained throughout, since I couldn't force myself out of this one I observed as much as I could.

The sensation eventually got to the point where it felt like either the back of my head was being implanted with a chip or it was being removed, at least it was a piece of some kind of solid material. At the same time that this incident was nearing its end the voices sounded like they were being sucked away or soothed to silence and the idea of 'Soul Retrieval' came to mind. I woke up with a fizzing in the back of my head.

Musical Notes Behind Ordinary Sounds

2009-12-15T11:18:00.007Z

For a while now I've been hearing unusual sounds, at first it sounded very distant - it would always occur just before an aeroplane passes by. It sounds like a musical note from a flute, a soft subtle sound. I didn't make much of it, just rationalizing, but now the sounds are becoming more alive. It's almost as if behind every ordinary sound there is a celestial musical note. It's beautiful.

When I relax and my attention is completely on my hearing, particularly in my right ear I can feel a fluttering sensation.

Past Life and the Future

2009-12-15T10:08:00.024Z

The Past Life
Last night in a relaxed state I felt like I was going to sleep like a baby, unfortunately that was not to be the case. In that relaxed state I began seeing partial images and just drifted off thinking very little of them. Then in my minds eye there was a sudden flash of an image where the characters came to life. There were two men, I can't quite remember how they were dressed. One man had a sword in his right hand and thrust it into the upper abdomen of this other man who seemed to be completely off guard.

At the instant that the sword had pierced through my right hand flinched and rested on the invisible wound. More disturbing than this re-enactment was the sound of the dying man which was ringing in my ears. Immediately I registered it as a past life incident and not something drawn from imagination. I'm not too sure about the nature of past lives but for the time being I feel this particular experience fits into that box.

After this I managed to get in a deep sleep but awakened at 2am, this time sleep was impossible - my mind was on auto, it was doing all the thinking for me. Questions were raised and I had to get to the bottom of these, things that relate to me personally. I had to, not resolve these questions because they did not represent problems, instead there was a deeper urge to understand some of my opinions, beliefs and convictions I have about certain things. Interestingly this was accompanied by energetic sensations.

The Future
I could not sleep until about 5am, and the external noise of birds were not helping much. I focused exclusively on my breathing and as I relaxed a little, tingling electrical currents surged up my legs. A few minutes later I heard my mum sobbing and mumbling something in the distance, she sounded traumatized as if something catastrophic had taken place. Then I wondered how on earth she got to London that fast since she was thousands of miles away in another country and I had just spoken to her on the phone that evening. Despite my rational mind and it's logical function I tried to get up to see what was going on, but some force weighed me down. The electrical fizzing in my legs restarted and I found myself raising up - I made an astral exit. I looked around my room, it was the same room but the furniture were completely different, the only thing I recognized was the carpet.

Mentally I rummaged through the room, scanning to find some of my stuff but nothing looked familiar to me. I got this impression, a gut feeling that I was in the future. It was more of an absolute knowing, as I floated about the house I briefly saw the new tenants which only confirmed this knowing. In particular there was a woman carrying a baby around. I wondered what year it was but the capacity for my mind to try and understand had become so fragmented. I ended up having some weird FAs and finally woke up.

Inner View of the Sun

2009-12-11T15:19:00.018Z

Last night, before sleeping practiced diaphragmatic breathing for a few minutes. When I stopped controlling the breath I got ready for some sleep. Eyes closed, replacing the darkness behind the lids I could see an orange glow covering the entire field of vision. At first it was a deep orange and suddenly it got lighter and brighter. It looked like how the back of the eyelids would appear orange in front of the sun only the brightness of the sun is endlessly increasing to such an intensity it would cause blindness.

It happened in an instant - it was fear that snapped my eyes open. I seriously began wondering whether I can go through with any of this because of this level of fear that comes with every new special effect. Or maybe that's the point - to face these fears.

Meditation

2009-12-10T17:23:00.013Z

I have been able to meditate on a few occasions in the past few days. Each time there were energetic sensations. I would get deeper and suddenly my arms would make explosive movements, there was one time I was able to move somewhat beyond this.

In one session prior to falling asleep, with my mind very still there was an awareness of a pressure in the left side of skull. The pressure eventually filled up the entire space in my head, it felt like my brain was being pumped and my skull was ready to crack open. My head felt like a helium balloon ready to float away as soon as my body would let go. I felt if my entire body was pumped with this I would begin to levitate.

I have also been practicing the alternate nostril breathing method - just the one time so far. I did one round and the energy surged through the left big toe, up my left leg, reached the left buttock where I felt a tremor that lasted a good few minutes.

Dietary Changes

2009-12-10T16:45:00.016Z

For the past two weeks I've been sleeping without any interruptions. However, during the waking hours I'm feeling the movement of this energy even more and now it has gotten to the point where it doesn't really startle me. I'm getting so used to it that it feels normal. There were two occasions that did startle me. On one occasion I bent down to pick up a piece of paper and as I did had vomit travel up my gut and stuck in my throat. On another occasion while snacking on some sour cream pringles my tongue spontaneously made a quick movement - I ended up taking a bite out of my tongue. Body trying to tell me something?

This tongue event is quite interesting as some days later I felt inspired to look into changing my diet and I'm currently researching more about the raw food diet. This need to change diet came from the urge to be simple as opposed to just for health benefits, but it seems the effect of simplicity is good health. And it's not just that, I've been reading up some detailed information on Kundalini which have been a good influence. I've listed some websites on the right side of this blog.

Energy Currents During Meditation

2009-11-30T16:10:00.010Z

It has become a bit difficult to meditate, it's not that I can't remain still or relax, I just can't bring myself to schedule a session like I used to. I don't have that same motivation I once had. Now I meditate when it feels right and I can do it naturally.

Last week I managed to meditate once. As I let my attention to thoughts and sounds play out, in a seemingly ordinary state there was some sudden heart palpitations, fingers and hands twitching, some movements in my thighs and then energy shooting up my legs. I felt like my entire body was being charged with electrical currents.

Reappearance of the Being

2009-11-30T00:10:00.019Z

Saturday woke up 4am from phone ringing. 2 hours later began to relax. A warm feeling washed over me, I felt so warm inside the smile formed on my face as a natural reaction. Immediately followed by this was the sensation of cobwebs over my face and then goosebumps all over my right arm. I knew this meant there was something nearby, looked to my right and there was the being that I had recently met. I didn't have time to stare at it long enough to be certain because my right ear began to vibrate at an uncomfortable rate.

I averted my glance suddenly feeling vulnerable and a little afraid as the ear vibration made me feel I was lacking in control. I had a feeling my ear vibration was due to the being trying to communicate with me or it's possible that my ear was tuning into a different frequency. I tried to let the vibrations settle down without resisting but it was impossible to endure it and so I gave up and attempted to stop it instead.

So after fidgeting for a good few minutes the vibration finally stopped, but the feeling of the presence was still nearby. I didn't care to look. I was afraid to look but more than that I was annoyed. I just wanted to sleep at least for an hour and wake up feeling rejuvinated which is not the way I've been feeling lately. In order to avoid seeing this being I turned to rest on my front and began to relax once more and instantly felt a kind of funneling in my left ear. There was some root chakra sensation and some sexual stimulation present until I slipped in an altered state of consciousness where I percieved that I was in the back of a vehicle looking out at a suburb street passing by.

Once again I feel like I had triggered this, that night before bed I randomly thought about what that being was to begin with but I had no intention for another encounter. It was a background thought of very little significance.

Ribs Shift and Nonverbal Communication

2009-11-22T19:13:00.008Z

This was perhaps the most extremely intense thing that has ever happened to me. I was suddenly alarmed in middle of sleep with my body in a strange twisted position. It was dark but had tactile sensation, though I still couldn't tell left from right. I had extreme breathing difficulty unable to breath in at all, gasping for air. My ribs were shifting outwards, snapping, cracking and being pulled by some force. It was agonizing yet strangely there was no pain, maybe just psychological trauma. I wasn't fighting it, not because I didn't want to but because it was impossible. Suddenly I got a flash of two people I know and I was being informed non-verbally that they will be going through the same procedure. Some time later became unconscious of the activity.

That morning had an astral type experience where I was surrounded by an array of birds, some I could identify (pigeons, sparrows etc) and a few others I don't think I've ever seen before. There was a particular bird, creamish colour with brown patches and large in size staring at me. I remember trying to memorize every inch of this bird so that I could look it up, still haven't found it.

Update on Recent Energy Activity

2009-11-22T18:25:00.018Z

Recently I've been experiencing a lot of energy activity ranging from mild to extreme.

The Mild:

Tremors - randomly here and there
Pressures in head - there was just one day where the pressure was unbearable and felt pain
Cramps and sharp pain in lower abdomen (occurred during evening, by the time I got to bed surrendered to the pain and miraculously fell asleep)
During meditation left arm itched and then felt like bug crawling under skin, sensation proceeded in right arm
Water bubbling up spine during hot bath - was pleasant but finished up fast due to feeling dizzy

The Extreme:

Legs shaking (sat down letting the legs shake it off)
Legs and arms swinging out just as I drift off to sleep (at one point grabbed the edge of my bed certain that whatever was moving my arms and legs was trying to throw me out of bed - occured again in the morning)
Heart palpitation
Weird twisted posture with ribs being shifted - written in more detail in the next post

Astral Travel via Energized Third Eye Chakra

2009-11-13T11:54:00.020Z

I awoke 2am constantly cleaning out bladder. After this it was impossible to sleep - this insomnia is becoming consistent taking place almost every night.

By 6am I thought I was going to lose my mind, highly stressed and agitated I started taking deep breaths. Then began focusing on the gentle natural rhythm of my breathing. It took time until I even felt mildly relaxed. There was some energy movement in various parts but mild compared to previous nights, until the energy focus was completely in the location of the third eye chakra.

In the Sky
At first there's a vibration until it was like an inner tremor between the brows. My ears vibrate and burn. I rotate to the other side of the room, everything dark. As I sink something comes in focus, like a cap being removed from camera lens or simply peeping through one eye. I raise up towards this image, I'm about to go through something and may lose focus. I need something to help me focus, so I keep repeating 'Spirit Guides' like a mantra. I go through something completely forgetting my intention. I'm flying on my back staring at the sky. There are unusual circular objects flying in the air and I assume they are some kind of aircraft. I get too close to one, certain that it would hit me but realize nothing can hurt me in this state. As I pass by, not exactly controlling my movement, there are more weird shaped objects above me.

The Apartment
My recall is fuzzy here - I end up in an apartment, in the living room there are several people seated on the couch and some on the floor. I particularly remember a teenager. One of the woman there is speaking. 'Don't you think she should leave him?' she asks. They're in a conversation completely irrelevant to me until the woman calls out my name. I walk up to her confused in a sort of daze. 'What do you think?' she was clearly asking me. I wasn't thinking much which was probably why I was confused - it was like my thought process had shut down and now slowly I was trying to speak back. 'Why should she leave? Why doesn't she leave? She should leave.' Suddenly it's like I'm remembering something and hearing the sound of my voice made me think I was physically speaking and from a physical perspective I would appear to be talking in my sleep. I try to wake up just a little - halfway to see if I am speaking out. I have an FA followed by a vision of a Hindu deity.

The Deity
I'm lying down and shift to my right side, the image of what looks like a giant Hindu Goddess doesn't even startle me. She speaks. 'Oh, one so small. Let me tell you why we have a head. The head is there to know.' Those weren't her exact words, her speech was more poetic. She continued speaking. I look down and see a mini version of herself sitting beside her listening attentively.

In the Sky II
Back in bed same chakra and ear sensation. This second time round I realized that I could AP anytime, some kind of connection was made. All I had to do was pull the energy into the third eye chakra through the breath. Although I didn't deliberately pull energy into that chakra and intend to AP for this projection intentionally, I was watching the third eye mechanism in motion and understood the process. Once again I'm flying with my gaze at the sky, there are square and rectangular shaped wired meshes above me, all flapping in random directions. I land on my feet, and glide. In front of me are lots of cars made of plastic, look like big toy cars. Suddenly there is a loud sound of glass breaking, I panic thinking it's coming from the physical, someone is breaking in my house. I intend to return but it's difficult almost like a magnet is constantly pulling me back. I phase in and out and when I return completely there is no sign of a break in.

Another Night of Energetic Activity

2009-11-12T10:45:00.032Z

Last night the energy activity made itself more present. Here's a list of last nights activity, not in the order that they took place:

Difficulty sleeping, unable to relax
Jaw shifted
Sleeping on front made the protruding sternum press down
Heart also felt and sounded like it was punching rather than beating
Resting on back random chakra sensations were first subtle
I rested my arms on duvet near belly, left arm raised and dropped
Index finger on left hand raised up and then I put it back down - this repeated
I bent my knees to get comfortable, felt immediate sensation of root chakra (tingling and wiggly movements)
Solar plexus pulsating with a vibration
Sternum was being charged - of all the sensations and movements this was most intense
Throat contracted, vibrated and tingled, something inside felt squirmy
Muscles in arms and legs clenched and relaxed
Movements in genital area
Right ear vibrations and heat sensation
Energy (tingles and pressure) in soles of feet shooting upwards through leg
Right arm which was near belly was moved to the side (at this point I understood that I had to keep arms by my side)
Arms on the side, my hands tingled
Sharp stinging sensations in several parts
Face squinted

Not sure how long after I fell asleep, maybe 3 hours. Though being aware of this energy is fascinating, I really need some sleep. I realize that with this energy present there is a lot of random side effects, everything about it is unpredictable.

I intend to set some time aside purely for relaxing, some extra time to let the energy play out.

Here Comes The Pain

2009-11-12T10:07:00.020Z

Yesterday morning I woke up in pain throughout the body that I've felt for the first time in my life. The muscles in my arms, legs and back were aching and sore, there were pangs of pain deep in my bones. My entire body was so peculiar with bones sticking out - I suddenly felt physically what it must be like to be severely anorexic.

I relaxed by focusing on my breathing to manage the pain before getting out of bed. During the relaxation my left hand moved to my face and my fingers began gently stroking my left cheek, after this I ended the session.

The pain was manageable, it was only in the evening that I experienced some more severe pains and cramps.

My appetite has reduced greatly since the flu and now I have to make an effort to eat.

Protruding Sternum

2009-11-10T15:52:00.006Z

I slept early yesterday, woke up once due to sensitivity to noise. There were no signs of any K type activity that I was aware of. When I woke up this morning I was glad I got 8 hours of sleep, but I still felt tired with a heavy weight feeling. There was a strange sensation near my chest. Something felt different. I checked exactly where the sensation was and discovered that my sternum was protruding (the middle lower part of the chest) - not too much to look scary but enough to scare me. Even the bones in my back and spine feel different. There's also a slight indentation just below sternum, like it's sucked in. Fortunately it's not painful.

Light Flashes and Sleepless Night

2009-11-09T11:10:00.028Z

Last night I did not sleep at all, I had the usual chakra sensations and other things going on. At first there were these sudden flashes of light, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. I was in deep thought which was keeping me awake, sudden flashes of memories came to mind particularly incidents from my childhood. I even solved a few mysteries that had perplexed me as a child. These are things I rarely ever think about so it was strange how all that shot through my head.

Suddenly I spotted a white light on the wall adjacent to my window, it was an oval shape with a diameter of about 2cm. It would morph and glimmer as if dancing. It was definitely not a ball of light, 2D flat on the wall. I thought it's obviously moonlight or some other light reflecting through the window and the blinds were slightly open, it's movement was creepy. I left it down to cloud and mist causing it to appear to be changing shape. Rational explanations are comforting.

Suddenly in the corner of my left eye a line of white light flashed. Then somewhere in the corner of my right side of the room. At times it was like a swooshing light but mostly flashes. I had an eerie sense that I was not alone. Got up to look out the window expecting to see a bright moon I was surprised by the array of stars in the night sky. They were of course brightly lit and some would glimmer. They seemed to be jerking or shifting left and right, I don't know much about the behaviours of stars but there was something intriguing about this scene.

Again I tried to just fall asleep, but my mind was strangely occupied. The lights continued to appear, I just decided to take no notice. I thought about this energy that has become more concentrated lately and I decided since I can't sleep I would just lie awake and observe it. I guess I was challenging it to amplify while I was still awake. The muscles in my right arm began to clench and relax followed by my left arm at which point I realized I'm better off being unconscious. I closed my eyes relaxing more and more, suddenly I felt my left arm lift up and then drop. My immediate thought was that this energy is actually intelligent, I knew straight away that the arm drop was a test to see if I had fallen asleep.

I felt goosebumps in my right arm, there was a sensation of warmth and hairs standing up. That was a confirmation that I was spot on about the energy testing me. It was impossible falling asleep, no matter how much I tried I just could not relax. Eventually at about 4am I started drifting off but a loud crashing tearing sound in my head startled me and it took another hour to drift off again. At around 5am my entire body felt like it was exploding over and over again, there were tugging, yanking sensations in certain body parts. The energy felt like it was mostly concentrated in my head, neck and spine, these areas were vibrating intensely. I know the best course of action is to remain still when this happens but I needed to shift around just to confirm I can still function. After that I still could not sleep with light phases of drifting off and being shocked awake. In the end there was some benefit from all this, the anger I had felt during that day felt like it had become neutralized. Suddenly I realized that all things, whether good or bad, the wide spectrum of emotions were blessings in disguise.

Meeting Spirit - Trust Issues

2009-11-06T08:11:00.015Z

For over a week I've been suffering from a really bad case of flu and now just recovering. During this period the sex dreams and episodes of extreme sexual urges have been intense. On one occasion I felt myself in that state between asleep and awake, it was vivid and with all the sexual urges I began stripping myself.

I know what the dreams and the urges mean and how it relates to this new energy I feel constantly in my system - there's definitely some deep cleansing, purification going on in the second chakra, but something didn't add up. There was a missing element and I had a deep desire to understand it so I did a whole lot of research on the sexual aspect of Kundalini and found this miracle of a website Kundalini-teacher. There are two articles I read that helped me to connect the dots Lust/Lack and Divine Beloved. I knew that with these crazy dreams some unconscious aspect of me was communicating with me and the craziness was there to get my attention.

Last night I opened up particularly to the male aspect but I wondered what I would say when that part does manifest in some form. An interesting thing happened, I think I witnessed my first UFO sighting last night. I couldn't sleep feeling fidgety, got up. Something outside in the night sky caught my attention. It was a deep amber light and looked like a glimmering twinkling star gliding by unlike any aircraft I've ever seen. Eventually fell asleep.

Woke up at 4am biting, chewing with my teeth as if eating food. My head felt like it would split open, the unconscious chewing explains the headache I've been experiencing past few mornings. After two hours I attempted to relax hoping to get some sleep, a bit hesitant and anxious knowing that sleep and astral activity has been replaced with something completely unpredictable.

I relaxed, still awake staring out the window I noticed something fluttering. A bird, a massive butterfly maybe? I couldn't identify it but it was coming through inside my bedroom, landing somewhere on my bed. There was a tingling all over my face, spreading over my neck. This was new, it felt like pins and needles with a numbing sensation, but more powerful than this sensation was the presence I felt nearby.

I began moving out like some force was carrying me backwards. I caught a glimmer of a tiny shadow being, it was amazing to be so close to it without going straight into shock. It was about 3 or 4 ft tall, I thought it was a child. It was dark so I could only see it's figure and no features. Then I remembered that I wanted to say something, I remembered planning it all night or even my entire life. My only problem was I couldn't remember what it was. I'm standing still amazed by this being but perplexed at my own confusion. A bubbling feeling surged through me and the words came out like a siren 'I love you'.

The being lit up, no longer a dark shadow. It was bathed in a golden bright light, but still hiding under a thick robe, I felt incredible joy. This being was only just beginning to reveal itself. Unfortunately, the joy transmuted to fear when I began thinking it was too much too soon. I closed my eyes, backed away and like a raving lunatic continuously admitted that I couldn't go through with it because I was too afraid. I began panting, my breathing felt irregular. I thought 'There's no place like home' and like Dorothy, in that instant you could say that I was back in Kansas.

I was relieved but also disappointed that I could be afraid of something so beautiful. The fear was irrational. The entire meeting with this being had transpired for 15 minutes. One thing is very clear now, spirit guides, unconscious aspects of your consciousness, whatever label you want to give them they do not make direct connection for a very good reason or they only attempt to do so when they're certain you are ready. Their appearance and presence seems to have the effect of a septic shock. It's either that or I clearly have some trust issues.

Animal Totems

2009-10-23T08:50:00.029+01:00

Initially when I first heard about animal totems I had very little interest in them, but now they seem to be popping up everywhere, in dreams, SP episodes and in waking life.

On one occasion I noticed a squirrel nibbling a hazelnut it looked adorable but I didn't think much of it until I began seeing it repeatedly for several days in the exact same spot. Finally I was compelled to read up on animal totems and the meaning of the squirrel.

Yesterday afternoon in the kitchen on the outside frame of the window was a spider on its web, it was attacking a type of beetle that had two yellow spots sticking out on either end (later learned that it was a yellow shouldered ladybug). By attack I mean it was wrapping its web around the poor bugger.

Within seconds I had an entire swarm of red ladybugs concealing the window - it was kind of scary. I had to close the window to stop them from getting in, just one had got in. I know ladybugs are harmless but when there are that many you can't help but think what they are capable of and they were multiplying. At the same time the entire scene was fascinating.

I have been reading up on the meaning of these - there is a wealth of information online regarding animal totems, so much that it's hard to figure out how it fits with you personally.

I think the red ladybugs have something to do with the root chakra, the past few days I have been experiencing thumping sensation in that area. The spider also probably has some significance.

This morning after a series of dreams where I had a negative attitude I woke up. I began reflecting on the dreams realizing maybe I do need to change my attitude with certain people. Fell asleep and had a dream where my mood changed positively. I was in the woodlands, it's winter and icy cold though I didn't feel it. I noticed a pale blue bird on a tree branch. As it flew about I reached out my left arm signalling it to come forth. It rested on my hand and there was a warm feeling of joy emanating from within me. I felt both playful and at peace. I can't seem to identify this bird - I'm sure it wasn't a blue bird. It was the size of a sparrow, only it looked really chubby and was pale blue all over.

Communication with K energy

2009-10-19T12:44:00.017+01:00

In a brave attempt to sleep on Saturday night I realized I am resisting this energy a great deal. I knew something was going to shock me that night, whether it would be that incredibly focused energy in my head or some kind of panic attack - something was ready and waiting for me to slip into a sleep state.

Closing my eyes I thought 'Bring it on!' Seconds later there was some thumping at the base of my spine. I chickened out and begged the energy to be gentle and to 'please keep the energy in my head to a minimum'. It didn't take me long to realize that maybe I was imposing so I surrendered taking back all my demands, actually just the 'bring it on' part.

The only thing I remember from that night are intense dreams of a very sensual erotic nature. I have found some kind of connection though, before these intense energies take over I do get warning signs in the form of chakra sensations.

Energy Hands and Whispers

2009-10-19T12:39:00.004+01:00

Saturday morning I relaxed, it was very natural, not forced nor attempted. Some time in the relaxation there was a surge of energy sensations shooting into my chest - I flinched my hands and at the same time heard a female voice softly whispering in my right ear 'It's okay'. I asked questions with no response.

Sleepless Nights and Naps

2009-10-19T11:58:00.010+01:00

Sleep has become rather pointless, at least the purpose of it seems to be some kind of invitation for this extreme energy to do its bidding rather than the natural rejuvination process that I am accustomed to. Even napping has become ineffective causing intervals of extreme fatigue during the day.

On Thursday night I had difficulty sleeping. Initially there was a pulsating beat in my solar plexus that comes and goes but able to doze off. I was startled suddenly with a burning itchy sensation that kept me from sleeping for about an hour. Eventually that calmed down and I attempted to sleep. Suddenly I was startled awake by a sound in my head. Roaring and gushing, banging, crashing and clashing. There was about a hundred different sounds exploding in my head. My right ear was vibrating and inside there was a burning sensation - I felt like smoke was coming out. It all happened really fast that I didn't have a chance to panic. Soon that familiar buzzing and tingling electric sensation soared up from my back to my head. The sensation in my head was unbearable, and the buzzing caused my teeth to chatter. When I made some movement it slowly came to a stop.

After this I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to go back to sleep, of course on the other hand there was no way that I was going to deprive myself of sleep for an entire night. An hour later I stopped resisting sleep and within just a few seconds of drifting into a relaxed state the energy shot through into my head causing a nervous spark. This kept me up for another hour until I fell asleep without any further shocking moments unless I blocked them from my memory.

Usually now in the mornings I get a sensation of energy rushing through my body, particularly focused on the back of my neck.

I have tried napping in the afternoons but even these are invitations for K energy, though they are mild compared to the nocturnal activities, these too end with an energy rush.

Weird Dreams - Forced Injection and Spider Claws

2009-10-15T11:22:00.045+01:00

Forced Injection
This morning I woke up at 4:20am slowly falling asleep by 5am. I had a pleasant dream that I was in a beach spending time with people that I seemed to know only in the dream.

Suddenly the scene changed. I was in a room, on a couch. Completely naked, my body was slightly slanted to the right side. In front of the couch there was a man standing. I felt a deep shocking pain in my left buttock. I wanted to scream out my pain but the paralysis would not allow it. A woman is injecting my left buttock with something and she keeps repeating 'we'll take that part' each time she says 'part' I could feel the syringe dig in deep.

I have no idea how I got there, however my main concern was the intentions of these two strangers. The woman was calm whereas the man was rather nervous and jittery. Finally the painful jabs came to a stop. I could see the woman get up, in her hands are sheets of papers that looked official. I managed to catch a glimpse of a page, a section required for signing. She puts this page on the couch, and looks straight at me and begins to talk. "I'm sure this is all very clear" she said.

It was clear, at least what I thought was going on was that they were removing fat from my body. The woman was some kind of surgeon and the man was the one who wanted the fat for some unknown purpose. I also knew that this was being done against my will. The woman rummages through sheets of papers grabbing two that seemed important. She grabs a chair sitting right next to my head so that I can see the paper she's holding onto. I notice a few digits - seems like a price list.

She's making some kind of peace offering with me by offering me her services. I begin to fear that after what they plan to do to my body I most likely will need it. When I woke up in my bedroom I was slightly disoriented and confused until I registered completely that I had indeed woken up quite relieved that it was just an insane vivid dream.

Spider Claws
In another dream I had a few days ago I was out in a field. I examine a car nearby, a famous Bollywood actor in the driver seat and an unknown person in the passenger seat. The car was somehow crushed killing the two people inside. I turned around and found myself in my back garden. I walked towards the house and stumbled across a large spider web, I tried to walk over it but the sticky substance got stuck on my legs. There was a spider on my leg. It's a strange looking spider - the legs are like crab claws. I attempted to shake it off me. Suddenly there's a whole swarm of mutant spiders climbing up on me. Soon they're clawing at my flesh. The pinching is intense sending some kind of sparks into my nervous system, I felt somehow it was manipulating my hormones because suddenly I felt sexually aroused. When I woke up there was a burning prickling sensation in my left lower arm when I touched that part it would sting making it seem as if there was some inflamation.

Kundalini Signs Breathing Out for an Extended Period

2009-10-12T10:31:00.030+01:00

More signs of physical anomaly showing up. It happens frequently as I doze off to sleep yet each thing that occurs seems so random. Usually I would just doze off for a few minutes and then I would be startled by either some loud noise or strange ideas that something is wrong even though there appears to be no physical evidence to justify such fears.

Usually these fears are accompanied by noises that only I can hear. One night there was a loud noise that sounded like someone was trying to kick open the garden door. My sister who was awake that night did not hear anything.

Recently as I drift off to sleep my mind would remain absolutely still but awake and completely alert. Suddenly I would breathe out for a long period without any conscious control and I could hear a loud hushing sound come out of my mouth. It seems as if something or someone has occupied my body and consciously manipulating my bodily functions - I get an eerie sense of being possessed. It's not really frightening considering that breathing is mostly involuntary anyways. I think when the mind becomes still there is an increase in ones awareness, a heightened sensitivity to the senses.

It seems most of the Kundalini signs that I've read about are starting to show up. For two days I felt like some kind of bugs were biting my right arm and both legs, itching constantly. I have felt intense heat around the body particularly in my face. I've felt heat internally as well as externally. The pressure in my head intensifies when reading, perhaps has something to do with concentration.

Having some knowledge in Kundalini I guess all this is rather tolerable and I could only imagine the constant fear and distress these symptoms can cause for people who don't have the slightest clue about this Kundalini energy.

Brief APs and Grinding Teeth

2009-10-02T08:22:00.019+01:00

Woke up at 3am and then returned to bed at 5:30am despite not feeling sleepy. I felt mild vibrations through my body until I became aware of floating around an unfamiliar room. There was a desk with a number of objects. My attention was focused on the white fan because I had the exact same one in storage.

Suddenly I warped to another room - again unfamiliar yet strangely beside the window was the same fan. I think I was returning back to normal waking consciousness but ended up in the void where I remember seeing some kind of structure I can't seem to describe. I was sinking and with that sense I thought about the hierarchy of the astral plane where there is the lower level and then the higher level. I momentarily thought I'm literally going down to the lower astral plane.

I returned to normal waking consciousness and closed my eyes again to get some sleep. Immediately I felt this heavy weight inside me feeling like it was sinking out of me - like some kind of magnetic movement. My head began to vibrate, but the vibration felt so different, it had a denseness about it. The room began to change but not quite. I was still aware of my bedroom, the sound of my breathing and the vibrations happening on the physical level and then in another awareness I could see in front of me an antique looking room without anything else visible. Then something appeared in front of me on the floor in this antique room - it looked like a skinny body wrapped in white sheets. Looked like a mummy - now the room took a new shape, it felt like a museum with some unusual artifacts.

The mummified thing was continuously spinning on that single point. On the physical level I could feel pressure in the right side of my face. Back to the mummy - I thought it had disappeared, but it was still there and looked as if it was shrinking. After clear examination I realized it wasn't shrinking, instead the sheets were being removed. I didn't see anything but the unravelling of the sheets made me feel incredibly angry, I demanded it to stop.

Then on the physical level my teeth began to chatter, it was literally buzzing. I then heard the sound and felt the motion of my jaw that highly suggested I was grinding my teeth confirming my recent suspicion over the reason for my unusual sensitivity in the back teeth when eating chocolate. I was conscious of my unconscious teeth grinding and was unable to consciously control the movement of my jaw. Although unable to make any movement I managed to slowly stick my tongue out to reduce the impact of the grinding. Felt my teeth buzzing and moving side to side on my tongue. Fortunately there wasn't too much pressure and a few minutes later of the grinding I naturally snapped out of it at 6:20am.

Losing Interest

2009-09-30T14:40:00.030+01:00

I haven't had any APs, not even brief experiences though I haven't exactly been trying. The SPs have been increasing without any attempt to AP. Waking up around 3 - 5am has become an automatic mechanism and usually I'm stirred awake by intensely dramatic and sometimes horrific dreams. I no longer seem to have the desire to AP.

I've lost interest in continuing the Hemi-Sync Gateway Experience program as well as meditation and the breathing methods that I made a habit of practicing. I have basically lost interest in all result and goal oriented practices - which is basically everything and I have not stopped all of these, I have just completely lost interest in them. For a while now everything just seems so purposeless. On one hand I feel incredibly empty inside and on the other hand I feel like a robot, programmed to feel and act a specific way or ways. I know I'm not depressed, maybe confused yet existence suddenly seems so clear.

With this sudden lack of interest in material and immaterial things I have been experiencing a lot of physical symptoms that suggest some kind of disorder, chaos within the nervous system. However, I don't seem to be bothered by it. My case is if death is guaranteed why do we take every opportunity to fight it?

SP Presence and The Black Bird

2009-09-30T14:00:00.010+01:00

Lately instead of APing I seem to be experiencing a lot of SP episodes. This morning during SP I felt like there was someone in the room and in a matter of urgency I willed myself to snap out, because I really felt this presence was physical and intruding. Of course upon regaining full control of my physical apparatus there was nobody next to my door where I had assumed someone was standing watching me.

In another SP I experienced about two days ago there was a black bird on my neighbours roof. It was either a raven or a crow - honestly I can't tell the difference between these two birds. The bird then flew to my open window and landed on the frame. It stared at me intently, I felt like I was the meal of the day. The slats of the blinds were open, it put its head between the slat shimmying through. I panicked and snapped out of the SP.

In another SP which occured last week there was what looked like a seahorse but not quite. It came through my window in a similar way as the raven only I didn't feel panic. To the contrary I was delighted to see it, the creature rested on my right arm and I was able to feel the sensation as if it were occuring on a physical level though I was paralysed. I felt affection for it in the same way one does for a pet.

Hearing Stuff and Ear Crackling

2009-09-29T23:22:00.016+01:00

Last night I was startled from sleep at 2am from the sound of a woman screaming. My sister was in the house with her friend so I thought either they were messing around or something was wrong.

I anxiously went to check on them. Sister was asleep and friend had left. I remember the scream was so incredibly loud I actually felt it inside my head. Since everything seemed fine I returned to bed. Within a few seconds of closing my eyes I heard a crackling sound, sounded like a plastic wrapper for sweets. I checked for anything under my neck though I knew there wouldn't be as I don't leave sweet wrappers on my bed but maybe somehow something got there.

There was nothing and even more strange was the fact that I was lying down perfectly still yet the crackling could not have been produced without moving. I listened to the sound intently - much more audible I realized it was coming from inside my ears. I opened my jaw and it crackled a little more.

I'm very aware that this could suggest TMJ but I haven't been experiencing severe pain and the headache is completely gone except for some pressure around frontal bone which moves down to my left temporal bone. The pressure itself is completely painless and tends to feel more like a brain massage.

Acting Out Dreams and Teeth Clenching

2009-09-27T18:49:00.075+01:00

This morning I had a nightmare about being chased by something the size of a toddler only it looked horrible and monstrous. It had arms and legs but did not look human, didn't even look like an alien, monster is probably the most fitting description. It looked threatening with it's sharp pointy teeth - it seemed to have no facial features and appeared 2D. I managed to get up on a raised platform. I knew the thing had intentions to attack me. I'm not one to judge a person by the way they look but this thing looked seriously cruel. Having no where to run I kicked and punched it but the creature seemed to have some super strength.

I continued kicking it trying to push it over the platform in the hope that it would fall down and just splat. It was on the edge but quickly grabbed me, I bit hard into the creatures arm at which point I woke up clenching my teeth and quickly stopped it.

A few days ago I had woken up with some pain in my mouth, headache and for two days jaw had clicked briefly in the morning. Also the tissue connecting my cheek on the left side was incredibly sore and after examining it there were a few cuts there which could've only happened from biting in that area.

Bruxism is the medical term for teeth clenching. I read about the causes of this condition and one that was highlighted is stress. Under these circumstances I would say yes I was highly stressed - it's not everyday that I get chased by an unidentifiable and ghastly looking creature. I think in a situation like that anyone would bite for their life.

Drill #3

2009-09-26T10:16:00.028+01:00

Woke up at about 4am, after that time it was impossible to sleep.

At 7am tried to get at least an hour of sleep. I almost fell asleep until there was a startling noise of clattering pans. I was not bothered investigating this and just put it down to auditory hallucination because the sound was unusually loud as if it was coming from somewhere in my head.

Closed eyes and slept on my front. Within a few seconds I was alarmed by an impact on the back of my head but with that all too familiar drill sound that I have heard and felt twice before (Drill #1, Drill #2). The buzzing was mild at first and I decided that instead of fighting it to just observe every sensation, record every detail. As I continued to observe I noticed that everything about it increments in intensity, it gets deeper, louder and much more unbearable. There was no pain, just that feeling you get when someone scratches a blackboard only a lot worse.

I opened my eyes to see if it, whatever 'it' was would continue. It did and I guess I was surprised because I was still physically fully awake. I could see my arms stretched out, was able to move but didn't want to make any sudden movements. Seconds later it felt as if the drill bit had now got to the surface of my brain. My left arm, hand and fingers started to twitch followed by the right arm. At that point it was becoming completely unbearable, the twitching was easy to deal with and I knew it had to do with that thing getting deeper in my brain. The only part of it I could not endure was the intense sensation I felt upon impact which was increasing.

I turned around to rest on my back, the sensation lasted a minute or so before it began to dissipate into tiny vibrations, fizzing away. Ended at 7:45am.

Left Brain Gets an Electric Shock

2009-09-22T12:16:00.040+01:00

Last night as I closed my eyes getting ready for sleep the middle of my forehead tensed up and there was an intense pressure like something was ready to pop out (third eye maybe? lol). A few seconds later the hair on the left part of my head felt like it was moving - this is the second time I've had this feeling. Felt like fingers running through my hair only they were incredibly light. I remember the first time it happened some months ago I was scared thinking I was probably being haunted by some entity.

This time I didn't think much of it. There were tiny vibrations on my scalp, tingling like sensation. Then a tremor in the left side of my brain with electric like sensations and I felt something burst inside. There was no pain but you'd think that with an explosion like that I should feel some pain. To be more precise it felt like something was trying to come out from the left side of my brain. This is quite enough to send anyone into shock, I wanted to really sleep and was not so bothered with these weird sensations feeling very little concern over them. Tried to go to sleep despite the sensations which were gradually dissipating but soon my arms snapped out in a jolt. Soon after fell asleep. The strange part of this was that I was completely awake and not in that state where I'm accustomed to the weird, strange and unexplainable.

I did a search on electric sensations in the brain and there's quite a lot of people who experience this with a majority of people feeling it in the left part of the brain.

Light Beam

2009-09-20T10:43:00.017+01:00

Awakened at 4:30am from a disturbing dream about a mafia group in some sort of covert operation (very movie like), eventually went back to sleep and found myself floating in the darkness.

Became aware of being in bed again in the SP state. At the middle of my room which was dark there was a beam of light. Tried getting up to investigate the light on which my eyes were locked, I couldn't move my gaze. Forced myself to turn sideways and once I finally broke the SP spell the light beam swiftly moved out the window. When I opened my eyes the sun had come out, my room bright unlike the darkness that was before it.

Panic Attacks

2009-09-09T22:08:00.010+01:00

Not sure how this even relates to AP but I'll put it here because it's just as bizarre and mysterious.

Last night got to bed at 11pm, woke up just 30 minutes later in an unusual manner, gasping for air and rapid heart beat and a weird feeling of having escaped something dreadful.

I closed my eyes again fell asleep and the panic attack repeated, could not recall what it was that caused it.

It happened a third time at which point I was too groggy but had enough energy for paranoid thoughts. Ordinary sounds were so loud my eardrums felt like they would explode.

Clarity of Dreams

2009-08-31T23:01:00.018+01:00

The dreams I've been having lately have been so incredibly detailed and much longer than usual as well as disturbing. Unfortunately I do not have enough willpower to even summarize anything that long so I haven't been bothered jotting them down in my dream journal.

Had a several of these bizarre dreams this morning. In one dream that I can vividly recall there is a man in his car at McD's drive-through. On the passenger seat I can see a woman in her 50's maybe, eyes gawking and lips ajar. She looks in shock and frozen, I realize she's dead and I'm thinking he should close her eyes and mouth so she appears to be sleeping. I wonder why he's making it so blatant. He reaches out forward doing exactly what I was thinking. As he drives off I notice he has forgotten a burger - he reverses, I reach out grabbing the burger.

There were more dreams which I can't recall as clearly when I woke up at 7:35am. Went back to bed at 9am. Within a few minutes I became aware of my body falling asleep. There was an intense gripping feeling right in my solar plexus. I was in so much agony, snapped out of the SP but the pain remained. Held onto my belly groaning for a bit until I lost consciousness. It felt like my stomach was being yanked out.

Then I had a dream where I'm heavily pregnant, I seem to be with a partner. There is another person who is attacking us. I get a memory flash of this person, he is forcefully injecting me with something and I lose consciousness.

In another dream I'm playing Resident Evil. This time I'm inside the game playing it as if it were all real. An inventory screen pops up at the middle and I equip some grenades. A lift is coming up I wait for the doors to open and throw the grenades at the speedy, bigger, badder, and better equiped zombies.

Energy Ball and Near Projections

2009-08-31T12:12:00.014+01:00

Yesterday morning fell asleep at 11am making up for some lost sleep. Eventually I became aware of sensations and as usual I assume I'm about to AP - seems to be the only thing I use to explain these strange happenings.

I felt some weird magnetic force pulling me from the soles of my feet, it felt like my insides were the first being sucked out by a powerful vacuum. I didn't have to restrain myself instead my reaction was a feeling of perhaps just a mild form of euphoria. I wasn't exactly ecstatic but somewhat near to it.

Within a few seconds of this I was able to move my legs and felt the solidity of them and the feeling that the soles of my feet were pressing against this strong sucking magnetic force that now felt like a large ball. The simplest, most descriptive word I can use to describe this ball was that it was 'energetic' and when I moved my legs I could feel the energy following the movement. I could feel my lips curling into a smile followed by a roaring inner laughter - the feeling was playful.

I was distracted by external noise, moved the rest of my body and instantly ended up in SP where I struggled to regain movement.

A few days ago had a near projection where I experienced mild forms of astral symptoms but there was some distraction so I could not go further.

Electric Surges and Brief APs

2009-08-07T10:59:00.015+01:00

Last night I had some difficulty falling asleep until about 2am. Immediately there was a sensation that felt like electricity surging through from the back of my head to the back of my neck. The sensation was incredibly strong, it felt like my brain was being yanked out, I held tightly on my pillow realizing these sensations pop up mostly when I'm lying down on my front. With some effort I manage to turn over, resting on my back the sensation subsided but I could still feel mild vibrations in my head, neck and arms.

I close my eyes and almost instantly it feels like I've zapped into a scene where I am looking out of my front door outside where it looks like something has gone wrong. I walk out, there is a rather long lorry blocking my view but I can see on the other side of it a burst of flame. There are burning vehicles across the street. Many people outside are staring at something other than the burning vehiclesI can't see what they are looking at, it's noisy and I can hear mostly police sirens and fire brigades. I see my neighbour and ask him what happened to which I don't get a response, he seems to be in a daze as are everyone else. I woke up suddenly, it was still dark outside didn't bother to check the time and just fell asleep.

At 8am tried to get an hour of sleep - I knew somehow that was not possible, there was that predictability of something astral to take place. Lying down on my back, closed eyes my head felt like it was expanding, soon I'm in a small room I don't recognize. I see my sister and other people - for some reason it feels like an ordinary day only we all seem to be floating. Since I can clearly see my sister I wonder if I could see myself. I look at my arms, they look completely solid and physical. I'm seeking out a mirror to see my entire body and surprised to see my physical form as it is. I turn away and suddenly my body has taken up the movement of a wave, at this stage I'm seeing through my eyes in and out of the astral and my physical bedroom. As I look at my bedroom ceiling I can hear several songs playing, I seem to be still moving like a wave. I end up getting to the SP state where I try to move my arms and snap out because I thought that I left the radio on and it was a bit distracting, of course when I got up the radio noise disappeared. Woke up around 9ish am.

Sky meets Land

2009-08-01T11:00:00.011+01:00

Time: 6am
Technique: WBTB (woke up at 3am)
Mood: Calm
Symptoms: floating, ear vibrations
Goals: None

Prior to this experience at 5am I had a brief exit episode where I felt backward sensation and the view of an office appeared and moving continuously backwards viewing a dining room with a cluttered table. When I snapped out of that one I thought I just had my maximum quota of projecting for the day.

At 6am I closed my eyes to get a few more hours of sleep. Instantly as I heard the sounds produced by the aeroplane passing by my ear drums began to vibrate with such intensity I thought they were going to explode. I tried playing about with the rate at which it was vibrating. I briefly slowed it down just by focusing on the vibration and the uneasy sensation that it produced, but it was still uncomfortable. Suddenly from the corner of my eyes I noticed something. There was a large glassless, frameless window - an open square and through that square I was looking at the sky which was a combination of colours that I could not comprehend - this sky unlike any ordinary sky seemed to be on top of the land beneath it that was just as luminous and vibrant as the sky. Looking at it I was so astonished to be witness to such incredible and indescribable beauty.

At this stage the ear vibrations were completely gone, perhaps because I was marvelling at the grandeur of the sky meeting the land. There seemed to be no distance between the two. The beauty of this view became a bit too much for reasons unknown, I had to avert my glance to make it endurable. I suddenly wept, there were no physical tears it was an inner weeping and I had no idea why. It was an emotion so foreign to me that no emotion ever experienced could come close to describing it - perhaps I can say it was unbearable which might make it sound like it was bad. Quite contrary to that I think it was a positive emotion but I just did not have the capacity to hold on to it.

The emotion was unmercifuly growing stronger and no averting my eyes helped - it would persist whether I dared to look or not. Now I wanted out, looking for an escape that seemed nowhere to be found. My vision was engulfed with a sudden darkness at which point the foreign emotion became stronger. I cried even harder and I could hear the sound of my crying which I believe finally snapped me out of that state where back in the physical a milder version of the emotion was present as if it were slowly shutting down. The time was 6:05 am.

At about 7am I tried to make up for some much needed sleep, had an interesting episode of SP. I managed to lift my left arm but noticed that I now had two left arms both looked physical, one was in the original position from where I raised it and the other was positioned to the point I raised it to. The original arm slowly began to vanish - the same thing happened with my right arm. It was unlike double vision, there was no haziness it was as clear as viewing my both arms right now. I think this might have been due to my brain slowing down and taking time to wipe out the memory of where I originally moved it from - quite amazing to watch how the brain functions. It has to make one wonder though, is the body really there, are the things that we see really there or are they just stored up memories continuously and consistently repeating?

After this SP I had an FA where I got out of bed to the bathroom. I got the toothbrush ready and in the instant that I looked at the mirror staring at a stranger standing next to me with a smug look on his face I screamed myself awake back into the SP state and then to C-1 at 7:15am.

My latest meditations

2009-07-29T15:19:00.018+01:00

The past few weeks the way I meditate has changed drastically. I noticed that my previous meditations were very systematic and very supressive. I have recognized that I have been continuously trying to control every new obstacle that popped up, first it was thoughts, then it was some bodily sensation and soon enough the spontaneous movements came out of nowhere and I would try to look for a solution by trying to understand what it was in the first place so that I could control it.

In the first week I refined my meditation method a great deal - though I had stopped focusing on my breathing I started chanting mantras to help quiet my mind. In every session it seemed I was trying to improve the method. I did a search on google looking for easy meditation techniques until I started reading about Jiddu Krishnamurti who offers the easiest method of meditation which is actually no method at all. His thoughts on what meditation is not has made a lot of sense in that you sort of uncover what it really is. So lately in my meditations I've just been watching thoughts pass by instead of trying to control it, I just observe on what is. To be more specific I observe my attention which seems to travel from one thing to another. The first thing my attention is focused on is usually a thought, then it would move to an external sound and so on.

What makes meditation easy isn't the application of a technique or method but the basic understanding and seeing for yourself that there is more control of the meditation (imposing your will on it) rather than allowing meditation to move freely. You have to really let go of all the ideas you hold about meditation.

Amazingly I have meditated under extremely noisy conditions and I have done so through no effort, relaxation seems to occur naturally. I now get into a much more deeper state by simply letting go, however there is the case of spontaneous movements of my arms and hands. It seems everything about meditation is spontaneous. These movements are quite startling because they happen so suddenly and they seem to be intelligently controlled. In one session my fingers on the right hand slowly curled into a fist, in another session several fingers in sync with both hands curled. The most startling incident was when I wasn't meditating instead I tried falling asleep. I rested my right hands on my solar plexus. After just a few seconds my right arm spontaneously glided to rest on my side, after the initial shock I put my hands back on my solar plexus and a few seconds later my arm again was swiftly placed by my side. It was only after the third instance that I was scared out of my wits and just gave in leaving my right arm to rest by my side.

Chakra sensations are even more noticeable especially the heart chakra which feels like a heavy weight on my chest, after one session of meditation I felt like my chest was being crushed. At the time I felt like I might be having a heart attack, of course I learnt later that the crushing sensation is a symptom of a heart attack but seems to be associated with pain which I did not feel. The sensation slowly dissipated once I stopped focusing on it. Another sensation that has become more pronounced since my spine tingling episodes is localized at the base of the spine - it feels like a rapid pulsing.

Spine tingles - 2nd episode

2009-07-29T11:13:00.024+01:00

On the 18th July I had another spine tingling episode only there was more commotion than the first time and I was a lot more reactive. I went to bed at 1am. Suddenly I became aware of an electrifying energy movement in my back and an intense movement in my spine - I couldn't be certain in which direction it was moving, it seemed to be moving in all direction. Honestly I could not analyze my situation since it was far too startling but I had thought that it must be really late right now - maybe 4ish am, I seem to be accustomed to strange things happening after 4am.

The sensation in my back felt like little electrifying critters swimming about and there was a strange cramp in my solar plexus - the cramping itself did not hurt just felt unusual. I was lying down on my front holding the pillows tightly trying to regain control. As I tried to get up the force had an even stronger grip. This unforeseen force seemed to have an agenda of its own. A sort of communication from an unknown source came forth in the form of a pamphlet - I could clearly read the words written on the front page - they were blocks of sentences. I read the word ascetic in one sentence and tired to remember what it meant - in another sentence there was the word sanity. I can only recall these particular words. I had a feeling this was related to Kundalini Awakening and strangely I knew there were no words written on this pamphlet because there was no pamphlet, I was interpreting all this with my mind with the knowledge that it has acquired.

I knew I was experiencing this on a physical level, it was certainly much more dramatic than anything I've experienced astrally. A sudden sense of loss washed over me and I had this feeling that I was about to lose something and immediately the people that I am closest to came to mind. With the feeling of impending doom I struggled to get up, an enormous amount of effort was required until I broke the spell at which point the energetic movement in my back came to a halt. I felt different, far too light to be physical and then the spinning occurred, this time it was the room that was spinning. I finally snapped out, lying down on my front. It ended at 1:30am, I was surprised because I felt that some few hours passed by until I became aware of the sudden sensations.

The Eagle Dream

2009-07-10T10:44:00.027+01:00

I had a very intriguing eagle dream this morning that seemed to have left a great impression on my mind as I woke up.

My two younger sisters and a cousin are messing around with some of their perfumes in my bedroom. My cousin is holding a perfume bag and reads the inscription 'Use with any other perfume'. She begins to say how she was right as she had kept going on about this particular perfume and how it needed to be used with another perfume.

I wondered at this particular point whether she has any idea why it needs to be used with another perfume so I begin to explain. I tell her it's an enhancer, that the perfume in that bottle is odourless and when you use that and then apply another perfume it enrichens the smell and keeps it lasting longer. Now - in reality I've never heard of a perfume enhancer or know whether such a thing exists.

She seems to be at a lost how I have more knowledge about this perfume than she does since I absolutely hate perfumes. I begin to wonder myself and I think at this point I almost woke up within the dream.

They start spraying several kinds of perfumes all over and before it hits my sense of smell I go open the window. As I open it there is a great eagle, the most gigantic bird I've ever seen make it's way in my direction looking straight at me. At first I'm in awe but panic as it gets closer and quickly close the window. It turns and flies through the window of my home office. Now I panic even more and make my sisters and cousin panic because it's in my house. I grab the phone and wonder who I'm supposed to call, the RSPCA, the police maybe.

Upon reflecting on this dream I realize it is highly symbolic of something and I've been looking up on eagles in terms of spirituality. Discovered that in Shamanism the eagle totem represents spiritual healing among other things.

Article on the eagle totem
More on animal totems

Meditation - Learning Equanimity & The Monkey Mind

2009-07-10T10:11:00.017+01:00

I started meditating for the past several days without any goals or expectations, perhaps there is that underlying goal of connecting with the Source of everything we perceive here. For the time being I've put Hemi-Sync programs on hold.

For the first few sessions I've been mostly losing consciousness during meditation. When I did snap back to consciousness and end the session I felt really light headed and incredibly spacey. I also felt energy rushing in my arms. Whenever I concentrate on my breathing now I feel a pressure between my brows, even when I'm not meditating but just focus on my breathing.

Yesterday during a meditation session I felt several symptoms that seem like signs of Kundalini rising, at first there were a few chakra sensations which was followed by something swarming about in my back. I heard and felt my heart thumping loud and some tightness in my chest. This was followed by an electric like sensation all over my lower back, that particular area felt like it was heating up. There was also some tingling sensation in my legs which showed up as I ended the session.

In another session yesterday I had a most enlightening experience. At about 7pm it was extremely difficult to quiet my mind - it was rampant with incessant thoughts. I thought I had overcome this but it had been proven otherwise. I applied some equanimity and just observed my thoughts in a detached non-judgemental way. It was a long process but eventually I noticed my irrelevant thoughts that seemed to be overlayed with another mode of thoughts which seemed like it had a mind of its own - this other mode of thoughts was trying to shut up my monkey mind, all the while I was the observor of the two. It was like having three people in the same room, two of them arguing and the third person just passively observing them.

The Illusions of Kundalini

2009-07-05T10:21:00.043+01:00

The Illusion
The past two weeks I have made a very radical shift. After a question and answer session with myself about the nature of reality and how I can enhance or even speed the creation and manifestation process whilst I'm having this human experience - the basic answer and somehow I knew it before it came out, was that reality is an illusion. Because it's an illusion there is no need to change it, or enhance or improve it.

This led to looking into teachings that have the same school of thought and I have come across some interesting mind altering material - I'll write about this another time.

What I've been doing the past few days is attempting to looking at my reality (the experiences that unfold, whether they're good or bad, subtle or intense) as an illusion. This means that all the techniques I use, all the ideas and beliefs I have are not real and this includes astral projections and dreams everything you can possibly perceive within this reality. I have to admit understanding this is really mind boggling.

Illusions can be Spine Tingling
This morning I woke up at 5:30am, there was a slight problem, slight because I was able to immediately see it as an illusion. After a short while of the problem settling down perhaps just serving it's purpose (assisting in my awakening) I began to realize how I can't use APs to figuring out the mysteries of life or using it to explore who I really am. There is no method within this reality that can lead me to the Truth, to that which is an illusion. So I surrendered, nothing was needed to be done at least I know I can't do anything from the perspective that the doing will yield results because that idea itself is an illusion. So I left it to the greater part of me to guide me and that I will just go with the flow.

At 7:15 am I felt inspired to meditate which is about the only tool I can seem to use because it's the one practice with which I have no goals attached to. I seem to have no expectations with meditation.

As I focused on the natural rhythm of my breathing, had to shift my position so that I was lying on my front but still focusing on my breathing. Eventually the vibrations erupted in my head followed by high pitch sound travelling into my right ear - I could clearly feel the sensation of the sound. I reminded myself that it was an illusion. Overlayed with the high pitch sound was the sound of an aeroplane - how convenient I thought just when I'm about to AP realizing that even that was an illusion as are the symptoms preceding it. These vibrations were somewhat different I think mostly because I still had full awareness of my body.

After what seemed like a long time I wondered why I haven't made the usual exit - were my thoughts of the process being an illusion somehow stopping the AP from unfolding? I didn't really care much for what was to take place. The vibes cooled down a bit or more like transformed into a tingling energy surge sensation I felt it move down from my head to the back of my neck, slowly down the full length of my spine and then back up again - my immediate thought was 'Wow, this is a sign of Kundalini rising' which was followed by a knowing that even that was an illusion. I found myself in a very nonreactive mode - in fact my only reaction was that whatever was happening is an illusion, no exceptions.

Soon I felt a presence around me and thought it could be a group rather than just an individual - of course out of habit I determined it was an illusion. I could hear something breathing on the back of my neck and it felt masculine - it transformed into a male voice, 2 thoughts that I could hear 'Still' and 'Relax'.

The tingling continued up and down my spine with the added sense of this male presence engulfing me - there was also a sense that this male presence was more within me rather than a separate entity outside of me. Then a most unusual thing happened as the tingling made it's way downward - my anus felt like it was widening followed by a severe cramping feeling. This felt really unpleasant even though deep down I knew it was an illusion I couldn't help but get absorbed by the realness of it. I realized that I could no longer associate myself as a female, nor a male - suddenly I felt completely genderless. There was an eruption of intense sexual arousal - I felt intoxicated.

In a bid to stop that unpleasant cramping I turned around to rest on my back which didn't change anything other than that I began to levitate - about an inch off my bed. I felt completely solid and dense as though I were still in my physical body - I did not dare to open my eyes. I decided I'm not ready for this - it was way too weird no matter how illusory it really was. At about 8:10am I turned to my side and opened my eyes got up with tingling still in my spine. My head nodded involuntarily for a short while - it was as if that involuntary action was dissipating the tingling until I readjusted into normalcy.

Street Roaming

2009-06-23T13:11:00.015+01:00

Time: 7:15am
Technique: WBTB (woke up at 5am - listened to hemi-sync & during exercise felt heart & throat chakra sensations)
Mood: Calm
Symptoms: fluttering eyelids, vibrations in head, floating of consciousness, speedy movement
Goals: None

As I turn to my left side, very relaxed I could feel the oncoming of the vibrations. There's a slight physical distraction - I could hear my nephew in the next room crying and almost get up to check on him but refrain from any movement knowing his mother is there.

I close my eyes and my eyelids begin to flutter as the vibrations start to erupt in my head. Now I just notice my bed and the wall and begin to turn slowly anticlockwise - I think I'm heading for the window, since in cases like this that seems to be the routine.

Much to my surprise I head in the other direction towards the room next to mine. I can clearly see my bed but I'm moving so fast that my thoughts have slowed down and I don't even think to see if my body is where I left it.

I'm moving backwards and should I move back any further I would be entering the other room, but I don't. It's like I'm in the same spot with the sensation of moving backwards or my room is stretching. Suddenly I sink with blindness, however I can still feel that I am moving. I can even feel the direction I'm moving in now which is forward.

My vision returns, I'm swooshing across in a large dim living room - there's a large window across the room and I know I'm heading in that direction. As I go through the window blindness returns, but the sensation of moving is present. My vision slowly once again returns. I'm somewhere in a field, it is broad daylight, a nice sunny day. There are different types of vehicles parked. I notice a small cabin, there are bench tables. I can see groups of people about and think I'm in some camp site. Now I'm swooshing by even faster, feeling like a point of consciousness. I seem to have no control of the movement or I'm just so used to not trying to control it. I feel like I'm being carried by the wind, it is a really pleasant feeling.

I've somehow ended up in a street - my vision a lot clearer. I can see groups of people and others just walking by. I focus on a woman wearing a head scarf and suddenly I feel more dense now like I just got inside a body. I can't help but think I've just occupied a body that belongs to someone else. I'm adjusting to ordinary movement but my walking is a little sluggish. I walk up to the woman, excited I ask her for her name. Miraculously she replies although she isn't facing me so I can't tell if her mouth is moving - I think I heard her say something like 'Eku'.

I look up at the buildings and my surroundings wondering where I am, I ask the woman but she starts to walk off.

I spot an elderly woman and approach her hoping she could tell me where I am, but funnily enough she seems to be walking faster than me. Now I think there's no point - I'll have to just look about. Finally I find a street sign that reads 'Lea' a bit short and very easy to remember but there are other small letters I have a hard time focusing on. I feel like I can't stop and pause for too long - vision is getting a bit hazy so I walk on trying to speed up taking in as much as I can.

I can see a bus stop, a lot like the ones in London but a bit older looking. I stop to look for clues but again vision starts to get hazy. I simply continue to walk on.

I observe a variety of buildings. I don't bother to look inside these buildings as I'm focused on the signs. I look up at the signs hoping to see the names of these buildings and any clues (street number, name, telephone numbers anything verifiable). Some I suppose are shops. I notice a particular name 'Vepa' which seems familiar then I notice another name 'Cop' ending with a heart symbol.

I suddenly feel like I'm about to lose consciousness. I need to get up and quickly note down this experience before I forget it completely and with that final thought I return to C-1 at 7:35am.

False Awakening to Reality

2009-06-21T15:49:00.012+01:00

I have been experiencing a lot of SP lately during my attempts to AP.

This morning I attempted at 6am but within a few minutes fell asleep. Woke up at 7:30 and decided to try again. I had to focus on relaxing. I felt my face was incredibly tense, especially my eyelids which were tightly sealed causing wrinkles so I let them relax then let my jaw hang loose focusing on the rhythm of my breathing.

Once completely relaxed I almost immediately found myself in the SP state - I'm never really sure what to do during these states other than try to move but I refrained from forcing any movement hoping that eventually it will lead to an AP.

I woke up and felt the sensation of my earphones plugged in my ears. This was strange as I couldn't recall putting on my mp3 player last night. I briefly thought maybe I'm just slightly disoriented since I had just woken up. Eyes closed, still sleepy I reached out to grab the mp3 player on the left side of the bed feeling for it. As I brought it closer to view what I last listened to I was shocked into alertness. I could not see my arms, my hands nor the device that I thought I was holding. However, the bed was visible, my room still existed except for my body. I could feel the sensation of moving my arms. It wasn't long till panic set in. Soon enough I continued having a few more false awakenings each time thinking I had awakened until finally I really woke up at 9am - funnily enough the only time that I decided to do a reality check.

FAs are really interesting and they are usually incredibly vivid. I think they go by unnoticed simply because in the context in which they unfold - in a very familiar physical format. They replicate the physical almost completely and the belief that you have woken up is just as present as when you really do wake up. Perhaps this is why it is easy to be fooled by them and therefore harder to notice the slight variations. Even when sometimes the variable is a missing arm or two it is still a little tricky to realize you're having a false awakening. They don't occur regularly and most likely why I can't seem to recognize it when I'm having one.

Mind Controller

2009-06-19T20:43:00.022+01:00

I didn't make any attempt to AP this morning nor am I sure if this was an AP or just a nightmare. The experience unfolded after several vivid dreams where I had moments of lucidity.

Dreaming Of A Mind Controller
The last dream before the AP was about a woman seeking advice regarding her husband from another woman who seemed to be some kind of adviser. It's worth mentioning this dream since I feel it most likely influenced my AP experience.

Suddenly in mid conversation between the women I become aware of my dream state but I don't try to immediately control it. I find myself absorbed in the conversation and realize the advisor isn't exactly speaking in words - she's simply focusing her gaze into the woman's eyes. The other woman seems more mesmerized as though in a hypnotic trance.

The advisor places a sharp long object into the other woman's hand - looks like a knitting needle. At this point I can clearly sense the adviser's message - she has told the woman to use the needle to kill her husband. It was more like she implanted the idea into her mind without the woman's consent.

The woman now equipped with a needle walks down a long staircase with one intention; to kill her husband. I talk to her to snap her out but I feel like I'm just thinking the thoughts, it gets to the point where I'm screaming in my mind for her to snap out of it. Tired with my attempt to awaken her a thought enters my mind - I'm thinking as soon as she steps outside she will snap out of the trance and she did. No longer looking like a mindless zombie, she appeared confused looking out in the traffic probably wondering how she got there.

I feel relieved despite not knowing this woman whether she was a DC or an actual person. Despite it all being a dream I was glad the woman came to her senses. After a few seconds I found myself in the SP state.

Meeting A Mind Controller
During the SP I allow myself to mentally relax knowing I'm about to AP. I become very aware of the window, in the corner there is a black blob at least that was my perception initially. Somehow I'm in a seated position. The dark form changed into a head with long hair - It looked like a partial female figure. She was lingering outside in broad daylight, her head, neck and shoulders were visible. She was almost featureless or it was just hard to see the contours of her face as she looked like a 3d form of a person out of a photo negative.

In a situation like this I'm usually scared, however this time I felt anger. Fragmented thoughts of people who I have had bad experiences with entered my mind. The anger I felt increased in intensity. I reached boiling point, I was consumed by anger so much that ideas of wanting to hurt everyone who had ever caused me emotional pain came automatically. I almost completely forgot about the dark figure next to my window until without warning my body glided in that direction. Another thought entered my mind "You know you want to kill them, just do it!" I willed myself backwards.

I knew at this point that these thoughts weren't mine and snapped back but still felt that anger and rage only this time it was directed at the being outside my window. I felt somehow that whoever or whatever this thing was, it was causing me to feel that anger and rage. As I slowly began returning to C-1 I knew there was a way to deal with a situation like this other than reacting from a state of anger. I think I returned to C-1 (at 5am) as I was becoming fully conscious in the AP.

After some reflecting I have to say this is perhaps the most disturbing experience ever. I've felt anger before towards others but never took it to such an extreme - this was like literally being in the mind of a killer. I wonder what or who that being was next to the window. It seemed to be drawing me towards it and despite it being immobile it seemed to exert control. Was it controlling me? Was it a separate entity / being or just a dark part of my own subconscious that I don't even know about?

Threshold #4 - Color Breathing

2009-06-17T12:21:00.019+01:00

Color Breathing uses the resonance of colors to develop the ability in directing physical and nonphysical energy.

The exercise uses the following colors: green for reducing excess or harmful emotional energy; red for increasing physical strength, speed and coordination; purple for restoring and normalizing physical condition.

I started on the exercise last night and I managed to remain conscious until some time after breathing in purple at which point I fell asleep.

Focus 12 progress

2009-06-15T11:49:00.023+01:00

One Month Patterning
Practiced the exercise from One Month Patterning about three times with audio – In the first 2 sessions I had lost consciousness at the point where I’m supposed to think, feel, or imagine the physical, mental or emotional desired pattern. The loss of consciousness was like clicking-out but not quite – in both instances I regained consciousness during the end of the track and felt like I was slowly waking up from a deep sleep. I noticed that I was smiling which was not something I did consciously – there was some positive emotion of excitement and joy present – I felt like laughing, but then wondered why which I believe disconnected me from that state.

In the third session I did not experience this pleasant state and I think it was because I was making an effort in remaining conscious throughout the exercise. I’m starting to think even if I am not conscious enough to follow the instructions perhaps I am doing it on a more unconscious/ subconscious level. However, I would like to be more conscious of the states that I enter and be more conscious of the process involved.

I will continue to practice the One Month Patterning exercise now and then. My main goal is to get into a more enhanced state of Focus 12 so that I am able to use these tools more effectively.

I have moved on to the following exercise, 'Threshold #4 - Color Breathing' and I will share my experience with this soon.

Staying Awake & Memory

2009-06-05T16:53:00.016+01:00

With more practice I've noticed that inducing astral projections are fairly easy - remembering the details of the experience is the hard part especially a long projection.

For the past two weeks I've been waking up between 3 and 5am almost every day meaning there were that many opportunities to AP. However, staying awake has been difficult - I have been feeling incredibly groggy during these times and unable to stay awake.

My aim for next week when I do wake up during these times is to walk about for a bit to keep me awake. I also intend on listening to 'Develop A Powerful Memory' hypnosis before my AP attempts in order to help remember the experiences with more clarity.

Astral Arms

2009-06-05T09:13:00.024+01:00

Time: 7am
Technique: WBTB (woke up at 4:45am), listened to 'Develop a Powerful Memory' hypnosis by Glenn Harrold
Mood: Calm
Symptoms: None
Goals: None

Before this experience I had a question in my mind, something that just suddenly unraveled. I wondered if I had actually lived all those years of my life that is perceived as the past or whether I had just arrived with the memory of those years.

Experience: It first began with some very lucid dreams, they were brief. I would find myself in unfamiliar places realizing that I was dreaming.

Eventually I ended up where I started - in bed. I couldn't see that I was in bed but I perceived that I was still in bed looking out into a large screen that covered my entire field of vision. There was a desert with a woman coming out of a car. She had blonde hair and was wearing a denim jacket and black trousers. I recognized her to be the character Allison Dubois from my favourite TV show Medium. Soon some more short clips unraveled and it seemed like they were from the actual show but I couldn't pinpoint which episodes they were. It wasn't long before I thought how amazing it would be if I could watch the new episodes that have not yet been broadcasted and most likely not even produced yet.

I had lost the perception of being in bed at this point almost as if I was now in these scenes that were flashing by.

Soon I found myself in a familiar place, a familiar memory and at that point I knew I was living some past memory. I can't seem to recall the memory right now only that at the time I tried my very best to memorize it.

The perception of being in bed came back, I noticed a few images in front of me. There was a picture of a green plant with the word touch written underneath. There were more images and more writing but they were not as vivid as the plant. Then I sensed my arms stretching out and then coming in front of me side by side. Both hands in a fist. I couldn't see my arms and hands but knew they were in front of me. They felt very solid I had to question whether I was physically moving them or not. Then I felt my thumbs uncurling followed by the rest of my fingers - one by one in pairs. The motion was very uncontrolled but knowing these movements were benign I went with it.

My arms stretched out again at which point I slowly sensed my actual physical arms, my hands were on my chest - right hand on top of the left. My left astral arm folded onto my chest aligning with my physical left arm followed by my right astral arm folding and aligning with my physical right arm. Almost instantly I opened my eyes and felt my hands on my chest in the exact position I percieved a few seconds ago. Returned to C-1 at 7:15am

Threshold #3 - One Month Patterning

2009-05-24T14:37:00.012+01:00

The purpose of this track is to use the energy of Focus 12 to speed up the process of manifesting your desires based on the principle that we become what we think.

I've manifested a number of things since expanding my understanding on the Law of Attraction, but I've never really attempted using a deep state of focus to set intentions for the purpose of manifesting so this should be interesting. I haven't really manifested anything significant with great speed although the things that I've manifested within a 5 minute time frame were things that I didn't really have much resistance about. It seems there is some importance with being detached with your desire. I don't mean detachment in the sense that you no longer want what you desire but in the sense that you aren't so attached to it that you're clinging to it.

I never put a time frame on what I desire to manifest because I haven't developed enough confidence in this process to do so just yet. It seems easier to allow it to unfold in its own time. I will start with this track from today.

Focus 12 Progress

2009-05-24T12:55:00.010+01:00

This week I haven't bothered practicing any Hemi-sync exercises. However, in the last few sessions I've experienced a lot of chakra sensations.

7 Chakra Sensations
In one session I felt so tense but I didn't want to give up quickly and decided not to bother so much with the instructions. I listened to 'Intro to Focus 12' rather aimlessly. Eventually, at some point where Monroe counts up to Focus 12 I felt a tingling sensation on my neck and immediately recognized it as my throat chakra. This sensation was followed by a cramp at my base/root chakra. Then I felt a heavy weight on my chest and had the impression that my heart had stopped beating. This was followed by the a pulsing sensation in my sacral chakra a sensation that was moving up into my solar plexus where the sensation intensified. Soon I felt the familiar third eye chakra pressure followed by a heavy weight crushing on the crown of my head. The sensations disappeared soon after and now I experience the chakras randomly at different intervals of the day. Since then I've practiced balancing my chakras using meditations devised for this particular purpose - I have to admit I'm not practicing consistently because it just feels like such a chore.

Threshold #2 - Problem Solving
I had a few issues with the exercise in this track of 'Problem Solving'. While practicing I didn't have the level of trust that is involved in receiving answers simply because my questions were so big that I just couldn't see how the answers would present themselves. Eventually I felt inspired to write down the questions and take a crack at answering them myself - the result was astonishing! This method has reached a point now where I ask a question and I receive mental impressions that I'm able to somehow translate into words - a sharp sense of knowing. As I continue to use this method of writing down my questions and letting the answers flow I am building more trust in the process. I don't feel it's necessary to use the 'Problem Solving' exercise anymore unless I feel inspired to do so.

Superman

2009-05-17T11:18:00.010+01:00

Experience #2: A few minutes after the Fragmented Recall experience I closed my eyes and almost instantly felt my teeth chattering still aware of my phyisical surrounding. I certainly was not shivering since it was quite warm this morning.

My jaws opened up with a magnetic type force still shaking and stretching as if it would rip apart. I was not afraid instead my reaction was a reflex of clenching my mouth shut to avoid any further stretching. I guess I'm learning to accept that strange things happen when you delve deeper into other states of consciousness. Eventually my lower jaw began moving left and right without control on my part. I stopped resisting it - I think I have an idea on what's going on with these involuntary movements but I'll ponder that at a later time once I can determine that it is what I think it is.

I found myself suddenly coming into awareness in a new surrounding. I was in an a very antique style office. I wonder for a while where I am until I notice a blurry form on the window of a man who looks a lot like Christopher Reeve. I immediately realize that I'm not looking at another person but instead staring at the reflection of the form that I have assumed.

After this realization my awareness is filled with ideas of me being Superman - I wondered why not Superwoman? From this point my awareness is more semi-lucid but at the same time I'm aware of the fact that I'm not Superman and I remember my original identity of the person I am here (in the physical). I speed out the window fuelled with the idea that I'm Superman I find a hidden area where I change superfast into my alter ego. I fly out but stop immediately confused with my costume - I have a black cape. This confusion doesn't last long when my original persona (the physical me) comes more into awareness and realizes this is a place to explore - not to save the world. There were a few people but I can't recall them clearly.

I noticed beginning my exploration a wall of bricks surrounding what I percieved to be an entire town. I knew there had to be something more beyond this wall of bricks. I pierced through this barrier with my awareness enhancing to more clarity. Here I percieved a great hall of people doing all manner of things, from building things to just passing by. I noticed a truck on one side. It was like being in a massive factory. There was really nothing interesting about this place other than my level of awareness that seemed fully present.

Returned to C-1 at about 9:15am.

Fragmented Recall

2009-05-17T11:03:00.029+01:00

Time: 7:10am
Technique: WBTB (woke up at 6am)
Mood: Feeling deep sincere appreciation for life
Symptoms: spinning, floating, shrinking,
Goals: None

Before I relay this experience I want to point out that this was one of those types of experience where I know a lot more had transpired but my memory is limited to fragmented parts.

Experience #1: I didn't focus much on my breathing to help me relax in fact I was expecting to project easily without any effort on my part. My only task was to shift my position into one where I could find most comfort - somehow I always end up finding comfort lying down on my back.

I felt the floating sensation instantly and spun across the room towards the window, my vision was very clear. I was a little surprised with this manner of exit or entrance, depending on how you want to look at it. I think I was hoping to feel the sensation of energy surge at the crown of my head mostly because I preferred them as I've noticed when those symptoms are present the experiences are clearer, my awareness enhances to a greater degree and the feeling of awe being present.

Next to the window I began sinking downwards, my vision was still clear. The more I sank the bigger my room appeared it was like I was a particle of dust looking out at my incredibly magnified bedroom and this is not the first time.

At this stage I slip into different events and I can only remember 3 with enough clarity to describe them.

1. I'm in a dark room and my vision begins to fade. Suddenly I perceive to be stretching my arms and legs - I feel really dense. I become more aware of the denseness as the stretching increases to the point where I feel like I'm becoming big enough to hold an entire Universe in my hands. I also felt like my body being as dense as it was could rip apart if I continued stretching though there was no pain. End of recall.

2. I'm in a room that is dimly lit and immediately notice a young man on the floor. He is resting on his right arm holding a cigarette in his left hand and puffing away. He has a peaceful smile on his face. I stand there for quite some time observing and simply wondering why he's so happy. Suddenly I get an impulse to hug him. The impulse was so strong I almost acted on it until I realized just how much I disliked the smell of cigarettes. End of recall.

3. I'm walking down an unfamiliar street and observe a few buildings. Though I can't seem to recognize this place it feels so familiar. I try to go through my bank of physical memories and see if I could withdraw anything that fits. As I begin to do this I feel like a point of consciousness being carried with the wind. End of recall.

Returned to C-1 at about 8:20am at which time my recall of the experience was a lot clearer than it is right now. I decided to attempt again and had another experience: Superman.

The Enchanted Land

2009-05-09T10:30:00.016+01:00

Time: 8am
Technique: WBTB (woke several times this morning)
Mood: Neutral
Symptoms: energy surge at crown of head with electrical like sounds, buzzing sensations, floating of consciousness
Goals: None - no actual intention to project, although in the past few days I've been attempting to connect with my Spirit Guides and practicing chakra balancing meditation to assist with this

Experience: Though I had no intention to project this morning I felt my head buzzing slightly as I shifted position to try and fall asleep once again. As the buzzing faded I felt the oncoming of an energy surge. The zapping sensation was becoming more intense almost amplifying my resistance for some reason. I knew I could either completely resist it or learn to enjoy the process. Of course I chose the latter and found that the ride was electrifyingly pleasant. Suddenly I could see an outline of a woman with long hair appearing to be running in the wind with fluid like movements, after a few seconds this faded into darkness.

I could hear the faint sound of voices chanting followed by drums and the types of musical instruments native tribes use. As the chanting and music became louder my vision had finally began taking form. I was now in a field of different colours particularly the shades of yellow and green. It was sunny and I became aware of the sun light enchancing my vision. My form / point of consciousness was moving sideways on an invisible path with a perfect view of the field in front of me. It was like being carried with the stream, I didn't try to control any part of the experience because everything was unfolding beautifully. There were no signs of wizadry or powerful Sorcerors yet the magic of this land left me in a state of complete awe.

The voices chanting perfectly in unison had become so much clearer I was finally able to make out one syllable words very foreign to me. I was just as captivated by the chant as the view in front of me. The chant, the view, the wonderful emotions that bubbled within me - everything was perfectly in sync. This is perhaps the most enchanted place I've ever been to. Bushes of what looked like one gigantic dandelion flower were visible - they were mostly a hue of yellow. This place was so organic I wondered if there were any houses and just as I thought that images of wooden houses flashed.

My vision changed and I felt like I was peering through one eye - a camera lens to be precise. Then the other eye, which turned out to be the left eye opened up. I had stopped in the middle of one part of the field where several people were roaming about. I approached them gliding in their direction, I really couldn't tell if they noticed me. They looked like ordinary people, dressed in casual wear. I noticed a bush of red dandelion fluffiness. My vision started fading and I felt clearly that I was about to open my physical eyes.

I was frustrated that it was ending so fast and angry at my sudden impaired vision. Then I sensed someone saying 'It's okay that you have to go'. It was communicated to me very non-verbally - certainly it was neither in a language, nor did I hear it. Now I sensed others around me having no idea who they were. I remembered the yellow bush of a massive dandelion and the enchanting field. My vision returned slowly, I had an urge to move in a particular direction, approached a hill where I walked down a dirt path and passed a little boy who was walking in the opposite direction. I stopped walking when I heard my name being called out. It was a child's voice but I couldn't tell whether it was a boy or a girl. I perceived it was coming from behind me so I turned around but ended up looking at the blank orange shade of my closed eyelids returning to C-1 at 8:20am with some mild buzzing sensation in my head.

Drill #2

2009-05-04T10:38:00.007+01:00

Experience #2: After previous experience I felt like I needed some more sleep, I shifted on my left side and with closed eyes immediately viewed what appeared to look like a monitor screen. On this screen I viewed another room. There was an open door and a young woman walked through the doorway, followed by another and then another until there was a straight line of women walking through. I noticed they were all identical. I wasn't interested in attempting any more APs - I really needed some extra sleep so I shifted my position on my right side and immediately felt an impact on the crown of my head.

There was a loud drilling sound, my head and face buzzed profusely. Just like in the 'Drill' experience I had the perception of someone or something working on me. I slowly opened my eyes and it was apparent that I was still in my room and no doubt very able to move physically. I thought this might be my cue to AP once again so I shifted my position about until I felt comfortable and waited. The drilling sound, my head and face buzzing continued for quite some time until at about 8:15am I lost my patience and opened my eyes. The sound and sensation ended after a few seconds.

Swimming in Black Ink

2009-05-04T09:41:00.007+01:00

Time: 6:30am
Technique: WBTB at 5:20am then at 6:30am practiced focusing on my breathing, affirmed to transmute any energy of fear to love
Mood: Fidgety, unable to relax
Symptoms: energy surge at crown of head with electrical like sounds, fizziness, buzzing sensations, floating of consciousness
Goals: None

Experience #1: I thought it was highly unlikely that with my very awake state I will be able to project. Starting at 6:30am I focused on my breathing for 30 minutes and finallly gave up. A few minutes later began feeling sleepy and lost some consciousness until the energy surge at the crown of my head just bolted through and once again I was alert. The sounds of electrical sparks were getting really loud. Eventually as this mellowed down I could feel the residue of the sensation which felt like the top of my head was fizzing. Soon I felt like just my mind moving around in liquid which I can only describe as greasy black ink in water.

There were black floating blobs - it was mostly just black but the different round shapes forming were visible. I kept thinking of keywords to help me remember this experience more clearly which were mostly just 'blobs', 'weird liquid like movement', 'different shades of black', then I saw an eye take form with another eye on top. I was moving along sort of being carried with the stream - finally when I stopped moving I observed in front of me a vortex with swirling things that I can't seem to describe.

At this point I felt like I was supposed to do something. Thought about meeting my Spirit Guides but realized it's pointless calling upon them for no apparent reason so I asked for assistance. Lost consciousness, had several FAs and finally woke up at 7:30am from a dream I had about a schoolgirl thanking her classmate for sharing his astral tip. After this experience I had another experience: Drill #2.

Focus 12 Progress

2009-04-30T11:40:00.010+01:00

In the past week I've skipped a few days of practicing getting into Focus 12 but this really hasn't hindered any progress. Yesterday I listened to 'Introduction to Focus 12' and again I felt like I was moving into Focus 10 with ease where I suddenly became aware of my right arm (physical) moving outwards to the right and as soon as I became aware of this my arm remained immobile. Then the same thing happened to my left arm moving outwards to the left. Though I haven't experienced these IBM's for a while now I managed to focus moving deeper into F10. My breathing pattern changed drastically - it seemed to have a life of it's own and with more practice this is becoming more pronounced. I gradually lost awareness of my body until my nose and the back of my neck was getting itchy - the urge was so strong I ended the session early.

I felt like there was something I missed in the earlier exercises so I decided to listen to Wave I - 'Advanced Focus 10'. Once I got to the REBAL part of the exercise the process seemed so unnecessarily long now that I'm getting accustomed to using the shortcut. Although my main objective is to move to F12 I know it will be a lot easier if I could get deeper into F10.
I will be listening to Wave I - 'Exploration, Sleep' and 'Free Flow 10' from time to time to get even more used to creating the REBAL and moving to Focus 10 the easy way.

Another thing I've noticed is my opportunity to AP has increased in the past few weeks - I will often wake up around 4am usually due to dreams with intense stressors. It's become easier to wake up at these times, the hard part is staying awake for at least an hour in order to induce an AP.

My dreams are changing, evolving in a sense or perhaps I'm becoming aware enough to notice the nuances to a greater degree so much that writing them down is becoming quite a challenge.

Spotting The Difference & Not My Average Dreams

2009-04-25T12:14:00.026+01:00

Time: 6:20am
Technique: WBTB at 3:15 am (slowly began writing down all recalled dreams), Affirmation
Mood: Calm & Relaxed
Duration: 20 mins
Symptoms: High Pitch sound and sensation, floating
Goals: None

Experience: In a relaxed state became conscious of oncoming high pitch sound. Moved my head physically - just a little until I thought any physical movement at this point will stop me from projecting. I remained still and let the intensity take over. After a few seconds I was floating up and spun across the room to my window at which point I was able to perceive various items that belonged in my room clearly. I took notice of the lighting - it was dim. I remembered before the projection the sun had come out and it was a lot brighter outside.

There was the usual sinking sensation as I headed out the window. With a lack of vision all I could perceive was darkness. Had the feeling that my eyes were trying to blink, so I focused on them remaining open despite seeing nothing but black. I could feel the mattress beneath me - I was back in bed. My duvet covers had long thicker blue stripes than the ones in reality. I looked from a side view at two sofas that do not belong there - my room was certainly not big enough for two sofas to fit in that space. I could feel my eyes were about to blink and within a flash I woke up with my position on the same side.

The time read 6:40am, I fell asleep and had two memorable vivid dreams where I was becoming lucid in two very stressful situations. These dreams were the highlight of my experience this morning. Both dreams involved a female protagonist. In one dream the DC is given the opportunity to rescue a man, in the second dream the same man betrays her and she must rescue herself. There was a stressful element halfway in each dream where my awareness was heightened to the point of lucidity. I was perceiving through the female protagonist. The emotions were so overwhelming I felt as though I was experiencing them for the first time. Fortunately my consciousness was withdrawing within a few seconds. I've recorded the dreams in my dream diary - they are so filled with detail it was like a whole lifetime but I could mostly remember the most vital moments. I might relay them here another time.

Focus 12 Progress

2009-04-22T10:40:00.013+01:00

I've gone back to the first track of Wave II, 'Introduction to Focus 12'. I don't think I'm ready for 'Problem Solving' - need to improve my ability to get to the Focus 12 state. Since I've moved on to 'Wave II - Threshold' my ability to get into the Focus 10 state has improved and I'm recognizing more and more the feeling of reduced sensory perception usually leaving only an enhanced awareness of my breathing pattern which is deep and slow. I realize this state is similar to some of my meditation experiences. I haven't been meditating for a while now and I might not start up again until I've made some progress with Hemi-Sync.

During one session listening to 'Introduction to Focus 12' I imagined energy flowing into my body while in Focus 10 as recently suggested in a comment to another post. Nothing happened or I was simply not aware of any change but I'm just learning to get in a deeper Focus 10 state and will try this again.

As for the Focus 12 state I have experienced subtle instances where I would became aware of images in my mind. These would last for a few seconds and somehow I just click-out until the audio signals back to C-1.

Time Travel

2009-04-21T13:50:00.021+01:00

Had an interesting experience this morning which I'll label as a 'dream' only because I'm not sure if I really had traveled through time. In this dream I suddenly became conscious though I was not aware of what eventuated prior to becoming lucid. It was more like waking up, expecting to be in your bed only you find yourself in some unknown place which I know sounds a bit like spontaneous APs / OBEs unlike the average conscious APs / OBEs. Initially I was in shock but then I absorbed my surrounding and having had seen nothing like this place before I was in absolute awe as well as confused. Right now the structures of this place is rather hazy since it's no longer as fresh in my mind. Even if I tried describing it I think I'd have a hard time trying to find the right words.

I soon had a feeling that I was not only in some other place, but in a completely different time. I noticed a group of people and approached a gentleman. I asked him what year it was speedily in fear of losing consciousness, a question that was burning within me. I received a sort of visual impression of the digits 2900. This seemed to confuse me more so I tried approaching another person before I could ask I instantly woke up at 6:00am.

A few minutes later fell asleep again and had more unusual experiences that were a cross between dream states and APs, some I can recall partially.

I haven't ever given time traveling much thought, but it seems I have the common belief ingrained in me that time travelling is possible only in movies or books, the fantasy world. I know the irony in that is extreme considering this is an astral projection journal, but then again how many people who have experienced APs and OBEs believe they can physically fly?

Having direct experience with Astral Projection has opened up my mind a lot to possibilities I would have once considered far-fetched. I think it's time to open up my mind just a little a bit more.

Wave II - Threshold #2, Problem Solving

2009-04-14T13:08:00.022+01:00

I moved on to track 'Problem Solving' late last night / early morning 3:00am. I did not feel sleepy at all mostly because I was in a really good mood.

The exercise offered in this track involves placing a question or problem in the center of your consciousness. The next step is to direct it outwards, release it and wait for a response.

My question that I wanted to ask was 'What is my purpose in this life?'. By purpose I don't mean my career, I guess the heart of my question is to find out the reason for my existence. I noted this down before getting into the exercise to help clarify my intention during practice.

After the resonant tuning I began losing consciousness and fell asleep. Woke up at 8:00am - my arms felt like they were pumped with helium and raised up slightly but at the same time they also felt heavy. I began bringing my arms down with a little force. Suddenly I felt lightheaded followed by a burst of joy filled emotion just erupting within me. I began smiling and giggling - this came so naturally, no conscious control much like how breathing functions naturally. I had no idea why I was giggling it just came with the emotion.

Soon I could hear my mind singing a hindi song from the old bollywood movie 'Yaarana'. Did a search with the lyrics to find the movie title since I don't recall watching this movie but most likely did when I was a child. The song was 'Sara Zamana' and only one particular line kept repeating continuously which was 'Sara zamana, hasinon ka deewana'. I think the translation for this is 'The whole world is crazy for pretty girls'. Well, I have no idea if there is some meaning in this song that relates to my question, will need to translate whole song which will take time since my Hindi is limited.

According to the Wave II booklet the answers or solutions do not have to necessarily come during the excerise, they can reveal themselves after the excercise in a very normal waking state. These can come in the form of songs, conversation with others, passages in books, synchronicities and many other ways.

Focus 12 Progress

2009-04-09T13:37:00.016+01:00

Here are some of the results listening to 'Intro to Focus 12' in the last 10 days:

In one session I became more aware of the Focus 10 state - body numbness and an incredible sense of my breathing which seemed to operate without any control on my part. When I tried changing the breathing pattern it felt like a struggle as if my breathing had a life of its own. I was fascinated with the way my breathing functions without me or any conscious effort on my part.
Intense pressure and energetic sensation in head during listening.
I've had migraines for a few days which are more likely due to stress, these migraines lasted for very brief moments. I can't remember ever having migraines before, I rarely ever get a headache.
Tremors in right cheek - actually muscle vibration would be more accurate. These aren't so visible, just the sensation is more noticeable. These lasted several minutes at a time for a few days. I had a feeling the hemi-sync audio was causing it so I decided to skip one session. The following day no tremors were present. I continued last night and felt the tremor/vibration in right cheek, it was a lot more subtle.

Play Centre

2009-04-02T09:53:00.013+01:00

Time: 7:10am
Technique: WBTB at 5ish am (last night listened to Glenn Harrold concentration hypnosis and 'wave I - sleep exploration')
Mood: Enthusiastic
Duration: 10 mins
Symptoms: Sensing presence
Goals: Visit Nephew, View places beyond imagination, RTZ Verification, Communicate with others

Experience: I was sleeping on my left side, it was dark but I sensed a presence very close by, in fact I knew that something was on top of me though I felt no weight, just a sensing. There was a pressure on the side of my neck, this scared me more than anything because I felt like I was being attacked. For a brief moment I almost snapped myself out but realised how wasted the opportunity would be. My head began moving to the right, panicked because now I was getting to face my fear, quite literally. I let myself go and immediately spun across the room where I began falling to the bottom floor and somehow ended in the kitchen where I saw my niece and many other kids on the floor swimming in what looked like a flood.

I got in the water and began swimming towards the garden door halfway deciding that I'd rather fly instead. I swooshed out the door and in a flash I ended up inside a big building at first I thought it looked like a shopping centre. Then I saw that there were so many children running about and playing with toys and thought maybe I was in a play centre. I shouted out 'hello' several times but it seemed nobody heard me. I skimmed around the big room/hall to see if my nephew was around remembering my original intention.

On one side of this massive centre was a flight of stairs. I flew to it and as I landed I began feeling dense. I walked up the stairs feeling more physical at this point. I didn't look down at my form but perceived that I was wearing trainers.

I noticed a woman holding a child in her arms and with other children beside her. I approached her but it was very clear that she couldn't see me. I sensed two people behind me. I faced two women, seemed like they were looking at me. They smiled and began moving their mouths and moving their arms about a lot, it looked as if they were trying to communicate something but I couldn't comprehend any of it. My right eye suddenly fluttered. I immediately recognized that dual vision that I've had a few times in previous experiences. I saw flickers of the area I shifted to and my bedroom in the physical. Focused on the non-physical area but had no control, returned to C-1 at 7:20am surprised that only 10 mins had passed by.

Focus 12 progress

2009-03-28T14:11:00.014Z

The past week I've been practicing moving to Focus 12 by listening to 'Introduction to Focus 12'. Unfortunately I've been falling asleep during practice, which is mostly due to exhaustion and practicing late.

Despite feeling that somehow my exhaustion level was rendering the hemi-sync sounds useless, last night I made some progress. For starters I managed to remain conscious throughout the entire track except for at some point towards the end where I experienced a brief click-out. My mind did wander off a little but managed to bring myself back and focus - I think this is what has happened the past week - my mind would wander off and I'd end up falling asleep.

When moving up to F12 an image began to appear in some area of my consciousness. It was some kind of orange block fusing with different colours - I thought maybe it represents the chakra system. Remembered not to get analytical and just go with the experience. More images took form, most of which I couldn't comprehend. The images were subtle and not as clear as the hypnagogic imagery I've had in my astral experiences but then again I feel I wasn't looking at them directly with my eyes - it was definitely more like sensing them.

After practice a few random thoughts entered my mind and shortly after I fell asleep. The thoughts were far too random and completely unrelated for me to even recall right now.

Wave II - Threshold #1, Introduction to Focus 12

2009-03-23T12:31:00.010Z

Last night I moved on to Wave II, Introduction to Focus 12. In the past few days listening to Wave I CD I've been either clicking-out or falling asleep, I suppose the latter is expected with 'Exploration, Sleep' and my observation has revealed that practicing late night when incredibly exhausted does not help much.

Even though I have yet to to experiment with the 'Free Flow 10' track of Wave I, I feel it's time to move on and I'm glad I've made the transition sooner because listening to 'Introduction to Focus 12' where Monroe points out that these exercises are only tools to learn and use and that they do not create changes in you I realized my expectations have increased since resuming practice, no doubt due to higher levels of stress - it has made me desperate in some ways almost as if I'm seeking a quick fix.

Although this realization is nothing profoundly new it has made me more aware of the fact that I have some expectations - expectations I intend to release.

Last night's experience: Practiced at 10pm, surprisingly remained conscious throughout. Half way felt an intense movement around sacral chakra point, feet and calves began to tingle for a few minutes. After this I began heating up which I think may be due to having thick covers over me. When I practiced moving back and forth between Focus 10 and Focus 12 I was tempted to end the track but forced myself to continue. I think I was trying way too hard at this point which I know only hinders progress.

Reading

2009-03-20T09:09:00.010Z

Time: 7:00am
Technique: WBTB at 4:50am (set internal alarm clock night before, I woke up from a disturbing alarming dream) - listened to hemi-sync advanced focus 10 at 6:00am, set intention
Mood/Feeling: Sleepy, unbothered
Symptoms: Hazy vision
Duration: 20 mins

Experience: At 7:00am I was feeling really sleepy and hazily affirmed that I will remember any astral experience as best as I could. I suddenly became aware of a sheet of paper in front of me with writings. Can't recall any exit sensations. I focused on the writing which was surprisingly clear and managed to read one paragraph. I skimmed through and focused on particular words, at this point my vision became a bit hazy and the words made no sense. I continued attempting to read until eventually I somehow found myself in the spare room. I noticed smoke coming out of an old telephone on a stand which does not exist in reality, at the time I didn't think much about the anomaly. Concerned by the smoke I quickly pulled out the cord. Lost consciousness and slipped into a dream state. Unfortunately I have no memory of what the paragraph read.

Rapid Solar Plexus Pulsations

2009-03-19T20:14:00.014Z

Last night at 11pm instead of listening to hemi-sync I listened to an Abraham-Hicks workshop. Esther Hicks, who channels the collective consciousness 'Abraham' has a rather pleasant voice and I find it particularly soothing, so it's no wonder why as I listened to the track I began relaxing deeply. The sound of Esther's voice became inaudible as I began to fade away from normal waking consciousness.

Eventually, when I returned to C-1 I could hear her voice along with sensing an intense pressure in my abdomen. I felt rapid pulsations in my solar plexus. It felt like a ticking bomb ready to explode. I felt an emotion that I can't even begin to describe, not even sure whether it was good or bad. I placed my hand on my abdomen and felt the sensation only slightly despite pulsations still occurring rapidly and rather violently. Overwhelmed and even feeling a bit nauseous I took a deep breath and the pulsation slowly subsided.

Though I've experienced chakra sensations in the past, my knowledge in this area is still somewhat limited. According to a few sources online if the solar plexus chakra spins too fast it is an indication of several negative aspects. Unfortunately I can relate to a few of these aspects, some of which have been more dominant lately.

I'll be doing some reading up on the chakra system.

Hemi-Sync: Exploration, Sleep - body jerks and time perception

2009-03-18T10:34:00.013Z

Last night at 11:30 I listened to Wave I - Discovery #5 - Exploration, Sleep. Before listening to this I was already feeling sleepy and I knew that I would most likely be unconscious throughout the exercise.

Within a few minutes my head began to feel heavy weighing more than the rest of my body. During the resonant tuning exercise I began feeling even sleepier and decided to let go of trying my best to remain conscious. At this stage I lost consciousness only to be startled by some body jerks, my right arm flung upwards as if trying to regain balance.

I continued with the process not sure which stage I was at but just listened to the sounds rather than following instruction. Once again lost consciousness until I was able to hear rapid beats followed by Monroes voice unable to comprehend what was being said. I had the perception that quite some time had passed by and thought I might be on the next track - time read 11:45. Closed my eyes - lost consciousness until track ended, again I had the perception of hours passing by.

I've also been getting a lot of body jerks in the meditation sessions I've started up recently. Could be due to feeling physically exhausted lately. Woke up this morning feeling very refreshed and also able to recall my dreams which had stagnated in the past few weeks.

Setting Internal Alarm Clock

2009-03-17T15:26:00.009Z

The most effective time to AP is early morning. Although AP's are possible any time of the day, mornings are the most effective because most of the conditions required for AP's come naturally at this time. If you wake up at 4 or 5am or have had at least 5 hours of sleep your body will be naturally relaxed therefore making it easier to reach the 'mind awake, body asleep' state with the added bonus that external noise is at a minimum.

All of my AP experiences have so far occurred in this way. I never use an external alarm clock simply because it is annoying to be alarmed in that way. It's quite natural for me to think of exactly what time I wish to wake up before going to sleep and wake up almost exactly the time intended. I have a regular internal alarm setting for 7:30am and have changed this on a few occasions for the purpose of practicing AP.

There is no need to intend every night the time you are wanting to wake up if your intention is to wake up at the same time every morning. After several intentions or at least once you find yourself waking up when required suffice it to say that your internal alarm clock is set and working. It would be wise to practice this in conjunction with an external alarm clock at first to avoid waking up late.

This technique works well as a precursor for the Wake Back to Bed technique.

Click here to read an interesting article on internal alarm clock.

Daily Practices

2009-03-17T14:04:00.011Z

These past few weeks I have been extremely busy, but I realise even with such a busy lifestyle I can do things that will help me relax and perhaps ease some of the stress I've been feeling lately. I have noticed that stress comes with a feeling that everything feels like work even relaxing. With a deliberate intention to practice relaxation I should be able to regain some balance. Here are some things I intend on including in my daily routine to help me relax and progress on my personal development:

Meditation - I've put meditation off for far too long now, my intention is to meditate for at least 15 minutes every day. I started already a few days ago, managed to practice at night before falling asleep.

Hemi-sync - Gateway Experience, Wave I - I now have the remaining Wave Cd's in this series, but intend on listening to Wave I for about a month before I move on to Wave II.

Deep Breathing - I don't know why I don't practice this every day, it's so incredibly easy and requires only 5 minutes. Started this morning and I'm already feeling calmer and at ease today. My intention is to practice deep breathing at different intervals - morning, midday and evening. I will be practicing deep breathing at least once a day since I use this to relax and proceed with meditation.

Introspection - I used to do this almost every day up until the start of this year. A good 20 minutes to 1 hour of examining my thoughts and emotions on a regular basis has helped me in the past. I find it shifts my perspective on all things that matters to me on a very deep level. This is also a time when I set goals and intentions. My desire to spend more time on this is intense, therefore less need to set an intention.

Hypnosis - I haven't listened to any of my hypnosis Cd's for a long time. Not sure if the effects of hypnosis are more temporary than they are permanent. Then again the results I've had in the past were minor - I think they were actually in proportion to the amount of times I practiced, which was just a brief period. I intend on listening to hypnosis on occasions rather than on a daily basis.

Of course there are more ways to simplify ones life and I'm not limiting myself to these tools nor are these tools limited for the sole purpose of relieving stress since each tool has many benefits.

Silhouette Arms

2009-03-08T20:21:00.010Z

About a week ago I had a rather unusual experience - unusual because it hadn't taken place during an astral projection. I had woken up on this particular morning and despite feeling mentally and physically alert something felt out of place. I had an unusual urge to check my arms. Shockingly they were completely black, silhouette arms and so I thought I must be projecting. I flopped my hands about and they felt incredibly light. I pressed my hands against the mattress and - this felt very real. I then reached out for the wall expecting, hoping to go through. After a few seconds the colour of my arms returned. It was like my eyes were somehow adjusting - I realized at that moment that I was physically awake the whole time.

Attempting To Visit My Nephew

2009-03-07T09:57:00.037Z

Time: 7:30am
Technique: WBTB at 4:30am - listened to music followed by hemi-sync discovery #3 - advanced focus 10
Mood: Fidgety - Unable to relax
Duration: 20 mins

At 6:30am I attempted relaxing which was extremely difficult and the sound of birds chirping was not helping at all. I decided to use the time to practice the hemi-sync exercise and set some intentions for my expected AP experience. After reading through a few chapters of Robert Bruce's 'Astral Dynamics: A New Approach to Out-of-Body Experiences' book I thought about how the ability to AP must be incredibly natural for children and how his own experiences had confirmed this. I think most people who AP have had the ability since childhood but simply forget them over time.

I thought of my 4 year old nephew - intelligent with sharp precise memory and of course absolutely adorable. He is also beginning to reveal some intuitive ability.
He lives some 100 miles from London and although in APs physical distance is completely irrelevant getting beyond my bedroom window is usually a challenge in itself. I know that the actual physical route is not necessary and so I intended to visit my nephew and expected the journey would be easy and a lot quicker than in physical - maybe even instantaneous.

Experience: At 7:30am relaxation came naturally, as soon as I closed my eyes wavy lines appeared. There was a mild vibration in my head with the usual buzzing sensations. I thought the waves will transform into frequency wave lines that have occurred in other experiences. Then I heard the sound of water running and sounds of ocean waves. The wave lines formed into an ocean with waves, suddenly filled with a great number of dolphins. The scene was in cartoon and it was like looking at a TV screen - full screen view. I heard birds chirping, they could be the same birds I heard chirping earlier in the physical. The dolphins were swimming, jumping and giggling. I was so in awe with this particular scene, the sound, the colours. Despite it being a cartoon I was amazed with how real it all appeared.

Slowly the image began disappearing and I perceived that I was back in bed lying on my back but able to see clearly in a birds eye view that my duvet was covered with sparkling snowflakes - a very beautiful sight. I lifted my arms, they looked pale almost white. At the same time I sensed the birds eye view. This could be the mind-split Robert Bruce mentions in the book - so far some of his concepts haven't sunk in and I have yet to read the book completely - and properly.

My hands flopped hanging loosely, at this point I was at SP. The perception of the sparkling snow and the state of SP faded and I returned to C-1, heard the physical birds still chirping.

Still very relaxed I tried again, closed eyes. Head buzzed, began hearing male chanting followed by frequency sound transforming to classical music. Sensing physical body, head felt incredibly heavy, neck was straining so I slowly adjusted to C-1.

Attempted AP again an hour later at 9:00am - this time more focused on my original intention for this AP. Practiced deep breathing for a few minutes and felt the light trance sensation almost feeling the head buzzing - unfortunately I was interrupted by knock on door.

Afterthoughts: Although I didn't exactly visit my nephew the cartoon was rather intriguing - may very well relate to my intention. I still need to read more about the mind split. For my next few APs I intend to visit a few people and hopefully be able to verify these visits. Maybe setting these intentions can help me progress since I haven't been very specific with my goals for AP.

Zooming In and Out

2009-03-05T12:38:00.007Z

Time: 6:50
Technique: WBTB and Affirmation
Mood: Calm and relaxed
Duration: 15 mins

Experience: After being awake for almost two hours doing nothing (I can use these awake times to listen to hemi-sync and next time intend on doing so). Once I felt more sleepy I affirmed 'I astral project' and closed my eyes. Shortly after I sensed the onset of vibrations in my head and some buzzing type sensation and sounds. I could still sense my physical body and was lying on my front with my arms on the pillow. The sounds were low but the sensations were intense. A minute or so later I got up in a very drunk manner, thought I felt somewhat light as though I can pass through solid matter my hands pressed down on the mattress. I was definitely still in my room, on my bed, my body, everything seemed physical. Despite appearances I felt different - spaced out - zoned out, but doubting that I was APing. I sat up and looked at the window, at the closed blinds . Suddenly I zoomed to the blinds and then backwards. As I zoomed back I felt tiny like I had once before in another experience - my entire room was a giant version. Just as soon as I thought I couldn't get any smaller I was back in bed feeling mild vibrations and buzzing in head. I deliberately decided to end it - snapped out and returned to C-1.

Marketplace

2009-02-27T10:20:00.031Z

Time: 7:35am
Technique: WBTB - No intention to AP
Mood/Feeling: Mild stress from day before, soothed this by observing thoughts and then deliberately shifting my focus - this helped.
Duration: Approx. 30 mins

Experience: After focusing on some positive thoughts and simply letting go of any negative emotions I was harboring, a spontaneous smile formed on my face followed by a feeling of peace and harmony. Soon after my right ear was buzzing with some mild vibration, my neck was leaning too much towards the left causing it to strain. I moved correcting my posture with vibrations and buzzing still present.

I could hear aeroplanes in the distant sky - a common sound especially in the mornings. I focused on the aeroplane sound and when the sound dimmed so did the buzzing. I thought there might be a connection between the roaring aeroplane sound and the buzzing in my ear - but why in my right ear and not the left?

Suddenly I was walking down a street filled with people. A man reclining on a chair to my right appeared to be looking at me. I walked up to him and moved closer, now leaning closer to his face he seemed to not notice me as if looking through me.

I decided to just walk on, there are many market stalls with all kinds of merchandise, immediately I acknowledge I'm in a marketplace. A man standing near a stall to my right is looking through a wooden frame, he looks at me and says 'Hello there pretty lady'. I smile flattered with the compliment and continue to walk forward.

I hear a voice saying ‘We’re strict with our employees. They need to communicate with customers.' On and on this voice went with a lot of emphasis put on customer interaction, it made sense from a sales perspective. I looked around but there was no source of the voice. It was just as difficult to pin point the gender of the voice.

I stop by a stall stocked with toys, for some unknown reason feel like Ive been assigned to this stall. I pick up a teddy bear, at the centre is a button I press – makes robotic sounds – I think it’s a robot trapped inside a teddy bear. At this stage things feel more dream like. A woman in the distant strolling along with a child in a pushchair becomes my first target.

I get the teddy bear and put on a puppet act. I move the teddys arms & legs in sync with the robot sounds giving the illusion that it is a robot teddy bear, using the entertainment to attract as many customers as possible. In a bid to sell fast I offer discounts.

The experience fades into several very vivid dreams until I return to C-1.

Inside A Black Hole

2009-02-22T11:24:00.017Z

Time: 8am
Technique: AP Intention - focused breathing
Mood/Feeling: Calm, relaxed
Duration: 2 hours

Experience: Felt vibrations in upper body, then floated out to the opposite end of my room which was a reflected mirror version. Slowly began moving downward towards the floor where everything became dark or I had a loss of vision. I was still moving and felt the sensation of sinking down even faster. Although unable to see anything I looked about in all directions. My search for light ended when I looked up - there was a round circle and inside it was what appeared to be the sky. The circle seemed to be getting smaller. My initial reaction was that I was falling down a very deep well. Having no clue what lay at the bottom I focused on moving upwards. My effort required a lot of energy, I managed to stop a few times but could not hold myself for even just a few seconds let alone move upwards. I continued moving downwards giving up on any attempt to control the experience.

Soon I found myself in a kitchen, unaware of how I got there but still fully conscious. The kitchen was much like my own with a door on one side heading out to the garden. I looked at my hands - very real and solid looking I placed them on the door to test my state. The touch on the door felt incredibly real. I knew that I was not in my physical form and that I should be able to put my hands through. This time my hands went through the door. I looked through the glass on the door, my hands appeared to be glowing. I walked through - outside everything was swamped with a feeling of isolation, empty and misty looking.

Lost consciousness but had some very vivid dreams and in between several dreams I found myself testing the state of my form by placing my hands through walls and windows with the same level of awareness in my prior test. I woke up from one of the vivid dreams.

Afterthoughts: The sinking down into what I would normally term as 'the void' is a familiar experience where I would feel as if everything has gone dark or I have lost my sight with the sensation of moving downwards. Being able to see at the top a circle and beyond that the sky has added to a very common experience. It now seems more apparent that the sinking and loss of vision maybe that I'm moving down through what appears to be a black hole - perhaps next time since I do tend to move with ease downwards, I could just get to the very bottom of it.

Driving Through

2009-02-18T10:32:00.005Z

Time: 6:40am
Technique: Wake Back To Bed - woke up at 5:20am
Mood/Feeling: Neutral, sleepy
Duration: 20 mins

Experience: Head buzzed and vibrated, again a sensation of electrical charges were present but milder. A little disoriented found myself in a moving vehicle - a family car. I was in the back seat, the other seats were unoccupied, no driver present. Outside, the street was very familiar - it was just from the corner of my house. The car made a left turn and then a right slowing down facing another car where I could clearly see a man in the driver seat. His car was parked on one side. At this point I moved my arms but it took a lot of energy. I raised my right hand and waved at the driver. He looked in my direction with a panic stricken expression - the vehicle I was in moved through his vehicle much like the way walking through walls or other barriers in the astral and then swerving out.

My vehicle continued to take me in different directions - some familiar, some not so familiar. At a particular point I ended up on the motorway a similar incident to the above occurred. A few lanes were closed. On a closed lane there was a pedestrian, female, long brown hair wearing a trench coat with her hands in her pocket. She smiled as she walked in my direction, suddenly there was that panic stricken look on her face and then the vehicle I was in went passing through her.

The vehicle continued to move forward taking me in random places, fortunately without incident. I didn't try to gain control because just raising my arms took a lot of energy - so I continued to observe until I returned somewhere at SP where I heard my brothers voice with a matter of urgency telling me to wake up. I was able to see from the corner of my eyes a physical form - just a fraction of the right side of who appeared to be my brother. I was in the middle of snapping out of SP, it took a while and I began to panic when I felt like I had stopped breathing.

Upon returning to C-1 I immediately felt head vibrations again and had another projection experience which lasted for quite some time but too fragmented for me to describe.

Hemi-Sync: On Hold

2009-02-17T17:20:00.004Z

I stopped practicing the hemi-sync exercises from Sunday night since I'm far too busy now to assign any more time for these. I will hopefully be able to resume practice in about two weeks. For the time being I might practice concentration meditation whenever I can.

The Bright Light

2009-02-17T12:04:00.007Z

Follow up from: Zapping To A Family Home

Experience: After head zapping I heard several voices - one voice that stood out clearly was that of a female, I focused but could not understand what was said. Ended up in a void of complete silence but I sensed I was moving. I spotted a spark, a point of light much like in the Strange Fountain experience. Immediately followed it. I ended up in front of my window and just walked through it continuing to walk straight ahead on air. It was night time. I noticed a glowing light above my roof just near where the satellite dish is located. It seemed to grow in brightness - like all the rays of the sun was focusing on that particular point. As it got brighter my eyes began to flutter returning to C-1 with my physical eyes fluttering for a few seconds.

Zapping To A Family Home

2009-02-17T10:56:00.027Z

Time: 7:30am
Technique: Sleep interrupted from weird dream and bladder at 5:25am, simple intention to AP
Mood/Feeling: Calm, naturally relaxed
Duration: Approx 30mins

Experience: I felt that zapping sensation in the back of my head - a bit like static electricity only it was internal and spreading inside my head. I found myself, rather suddenly, walking inside a living room looked at a man sitting in the corner, on an armchair. Next to him a woman sitting on a regular sofa. Neither of them noticed me. Across the room was a large window but I didn't bother to look beyond the window when near this area I noticed a boy about the age of 7 or 8 sitting on an armchair seemingly oblivious of my presence. Opposite him was another armchair - I walked to it feeling completely physical, it felt so physically real to be there.

I sat down and observed these people for a brief moment who were for the most part completely silent. They all had black hair. I was feeling a bit awkward, not sure what to do. The boy caught my attention when it appeared he was glancing at me, but quickly looking away. I walked up to him and knelt down beside the chair knowing in my gut that he could see me. 'Hi there, can you see me?' I asked with a very gentle tone in my voice amazed that I can actually hear myself clearly. He looked at me seeming a bit nervous, I also got the impression that he wanted to talk but couldn't for reasons unknown. In a bid to encourage him to talk I placed my hand on his shoulder gently and rather enthusiastically I informed him that we were in some kind of dream. I felt like a kid myself, perhaps that's why I was drawn to the little one and not the grownups.

It was by surprise that I heard the thunder in a female voice shouting 'Don't you dare touch my son!' Startled, I got up and glanced at the woman I'd seen earlier, she stood a few feet away from me and was visibly angry. The man I'd seen earlier hurried out of the room. I quickly moved to the window and walked through it. I was now in a garden, to my right I noticed a pool. It was day time. I walked on a pathway but suddenly began feeling heavy and was pulling my weight. Snapped back in bed, with an awareness of my body. The zapping returned and I had another AP - The Bright Light.

A Cosy Home

2009-02-16T23:30:00.018Z

At about 7:30am, awake and alert I wanted to relax a few extra minutes before getting out of bed. With closed eyes and a wonderful pleasant inner silence I let myself go deeper. I knew it was the perfect state for AP but had no intention to project. A few minutes later an image in my field of vision was taking form, when it became clearer I realized it was some kind of dining/living room area. It was a large room with a table just in the middle of the room and flowers nicely arranged at the center. The walls were a vibrant peach colour, it was night time and the room was so beautifully lit.

At first it was an image that floated about for a short while and the more pleasure I took from it the more it engulfed me, like being sucked into a live image. This place was so immaculately clean, warm and very welcoming. I remember thinking 'Wow! I so want my house to feel like this -warm and cosy.' Soon I sensed myself back in bed with my right ear buzzing and as a result returned to C-1.

Hemi-Sync: Current Progress

2009-02-15T20:12:00.004Z

It has been a month since I have started with the Hemi-Sync Gateway Experience. I am currently practicing the exercises from Wave I - Discovery.

So far...
... during the exercises I've been feeling swirling sensations in my abdomen. The sensations often appear in the lower abdomen sometimes slowly making its way up to the upper abdomen. The energy sensations present inside my head were incredibly intense in the first week of practice but gradually subsided.

More Click-Outs
I have been clicking-out in almost every track in almost every practice. Fortunately I have been writing down all my experiences with these exercises in a notebook, recording date, time, mood and I've figured out that the reason for the click-out is most likely due to practising late at night. Also I tend to click out when counting up to 10 to get to Focus 10 state. The few mornings that I did practice I did not experience click-outs. I intend to wake up earlier than usual and practice which means going to bed earlier than usual (this will be difficult).

The Interesting
The really interesting things have been occurring outside of the exercises, during normal waking consciousness (as I close my eyes to fall asleep but still awake and alert and a few minutes after waking up). These are:

Seeing almost clearly through my closed eyelids - happened three times, doesn't last very long.
Chakra sensations - heart, solar, and sacral chakras, nothing new but still signs of progress. I remember experiencing them during my 30 Day Meditation Challenge.
Random Muscle Spasms - this probably isn't all that interesting and nothing new except that it's not the eye twitching like I experienced a while back, instead it's other random muscles around the body. Had this occurred any time prior to my interest in AP or Altered States of Consciousness I would've been incredibly worried. I think the spasms are due to deep neurological changes, a result of meditating (meditation is on pause for time being) or using the hemi-sync program.

I will report back any new experiences at the end of this month.

Spinning

2009-02-02T09:37:00.027Z

Awakened at 5:30am after having a dream where I was visited by a shadow being only it wasn't as scary as it was in my recent experience.

At 7:00am I wanted to get more sleep but had a feeling I was going to AP instead. Once completely zoned out I felt a zapping in my head - something swirling. It was intense, felt very energetic and I have felt this sensation before but not with this intensity or it could be that I remember that episode vaguely. I did not feel any discomfort. Floated up and my form moved to the center of the room where I was spinning without any conscious control. My vision was crystal clear but hard to focus when spinning incredibly fast. Suddenly my bed appeared beneath me and I saw my physical body under the duvet and for the first time I got a very clear view of my face.

The room was morphing as I was spinning - the spinning itself was actually quite fun but I really wanted to move on with the next phase. Soon enough I turned my head toward a corner where it was getting brighter and spotted a window, at this point the spinning had completely calmed down. The curtains were being withdrawn by some invisible force. I looked through the window, this was a gigantic window. At first tried moving towards it but I was firmly stuck in place, then I focused on it and thought about how I'd like to go through the window. Instead I found my eyes sort of drooping and I lost consciousness. Had an FA, returned to C-1 at 7:30am.

Radio Tuning & Expanding

2009-02-01T11:30:00.013Z

I've had these experiences before where I hear radio stations tuning in and playing music. However, I think this is my most expanded version of such an experience. After my previous experience 'Through the Looking-Glass' I didn't feel too sleepy just deeply relaxed.

So deeply relaxed that once I closed my eyes I instantly heard instruments playing and believed that someone externally blasted their stereo. Somewhat agitated by this I opened my eyes, it was 7:45am and completely silent. Closed my eyes again and the music continued to play only it was clearer and the sounds were softer, it sounded like a Hindu worship song and I can't remember all the words. I did hear Krishna being mentioned several times.

I don't follow any religion but I found myself enjoying this pleasant and soothing song. After the song ended I was completely relaxed and unable to sense my body. Heard the static noise when you change radio stations. Soon I was listening to an interview. The host was male and the guest was female, excited I listened carefully trying my best to memorise names, facts and any details that would give me clues about the radio station so I could look it up in order to verify it. However, as soon as I started getting all analytical the words began scrambling so I decided to just give that up and listen aimlessly.

Once the exciting interview ended the static noise returned and I was tuned in to another frequency where a song was playing. It went on like this for about an hour. I was continuously listening to bands such as Westlife and Boyzone and other bands that sang a lot of ballads. The tunes were familiar however the lyrics were very new. As a teenager these bands were my favourites and so it was quite nice hearing their songs in my head.

I can also recall that in between these songs I found myself in my room with furniture arranged differently and as I stared at the clock on my wall I felt a sense of shrinking as if becoming smaller and then expanding.

Returned to C-1 at 9:00am.

Through the Looking-Glass

2009-02-01T11:16:00.007Z

At 6:30am I fell asleep again almost instantly floating out. This time the sun was shining. I wondered what to do having set no previous goal. Then I thought about how it's hard work planning what to do in the astral when often those plans failed so I decided to leave it to my inner being and relaxed even more.

Rotated as usual and headed through the window where my vision became limited. I was looking through glass, I assumed it was glass because there was a clear circle in the middle and around this circle the remaining glass had a built up of what looked like condensation. I continued to move and as I gazed through the glass it was like seeing a whole new world. I passed by mountains, wild flowers and other truly amazing wonders of the world. The circle in the middle expanded giving clearer broader vision and soon it was like looking through brand new eyes.

I continued soaring into the sky without any direction, I felt such an incredible sense of freedom and utterly elated. Returned to C-1 at about 7:30am and had another experience, Radio Tuning & Expanding.

A Shadow Being lurks in the Dark

2009-02-01T10:32:00.012Z

I woke up at 3:00am and two hours later tried going back to sleep without any intent to AP. Instantly I felt floating sensations and was soon spinning erratically. Rather than moving away from my body I ended up back in bed unable to move myself as I was in the SP state.

I sensed a presence nearby, looked across my bed and at the end there appeared to be a shadow on the wall. Once this shadow appeared more 3D I began to panic. The figure was illuminated by the moonlight seeping through the window, however it was difficult to see since the figure was completely draped in a dark cloak and rather large baggy hood. It looked like the Grim Reaper without a scythe. This being stood about 3 or 4ft away from my bed. I could still feel my body, just unable to move myself. Without warning my body slid across the bed towards the dark being. The more closer I got the more I was overwhelmed with fear. I forced myself backwards knowing that I can snap out of this and that any fear was based on my perception.

Again trying my best to feel secure in my position I watched the being cautiously. I saw an arm emerge out of the cloak, a fleshy looking arm that was very human in shape. This Being placed its arm forward as if offering help. My fear had almost completely eradicated when I finally began to move, I reached out my own arm and placed my hand into that of the being. I felt no sense of touch until I felt a hand touching my body in a rather sexual manner. Almost crippled with fear at this point I focused on my physical body, wiggled my fingers and returned to C-1 at 5:30am.

I should probably note here that in the past two days I've been so severely stressed that sleeping has since become rather difficult. As for the 'Hemi-Sync Wave I' I skipped the 'Release and Recharge' and moved onto 'Exploration, Sleep' basically to help me fall asleep easier which it has and my dreams have since amplified. I'm not sure if the stress triggered such a seemingly negative experience. The only fear that was present was based on my perception of what dark and hidden signifies; evil. As for the hands I felt on my body I have no idea what that was.

After this scary trip in the dark I had two more experiences which in comparison are positive and uplifting.

Hemi-sync: Wave I - Discovery #3 - Advanced Focus 10

2009-01-28T13:46:00.005Z

This morning I moved on to the Advanced Focus 10 track where the Resonant Energy Balloon (REBAL) tool is introduced to the process. The REBAL acts as a magnet, attracting desired influences and shielding undesired energy.

I have had some experience with the REBAL tool in the past however more practice is required before I could share anything significant since I have not used it consistently.

This morning all the exercises went well except for the affirmation part - I will stick to using a shorter similar version of the Gateway Affirmation. Surprisingly did not click out, maybe because I was well rested and relaxed enough to remain conscious.

Disoriented

2009-01-28T13:21:00.008Z

This morning at 7:20 after a hemi sync exercise I attempted to project. Did not practice any breathing methods or technique to induce AP. I just simply got in a comfortable position and as always through trial and error I find lying down on my back to be the most comfortable.

Instantly, I felt a kneading sensation in my head and the whole floating process began. This time I felt myself getting sucked upwards at incredible speed, not able to see anything. Soon I was in the middle of my garden, a little disoriented and wondered how I got there. Eventually I realized I was projecting. It was raining just as much as it was raining in reality, could be RTZ but that's not much to go on if looking for validation.

I was snapped back in bed before I could even decide what to do next. Tried again, felt vibrations and something fluttering in my ears which was very annoying and distracting. My second attempt failed and I ended up having some vivid dreams where I remember manipulating the DCs and events though I have forgotten the dream itself. End.

My projections are always very brief and they tend to mostly end in the pre-astral state. Lately I have been going to bed very late sleeping around 1:30am. I think I need to rest more in order to have clearer longer lasting projections.